To think it's not really anything to do with her??

[SpearMintPolos]

Happy to be told IABU but thought I'd get some outside perspective.

Ex h has DS 1 day a week that I work but he doesn't. It has recently increased from 5/6 hours to approx 9 hours.
Last time he had DS I was asked to do overtime at work unexpectedly which I agreed to as it still left me just under an hour until ex h bought DS back to me.
I text ex when I finished work and asked if he minded having DS for an extra 30 mins as I had a lot of housework/jobs I wanted to do. He agreed and said no problem will bring him back at x time.

I thought everything was fine but then an hour or so later I get a text from his mum (ex mil) basically stating how unfair she thought it was that ex had had DS all day (8:30-5:30 extended til 6) and that I 'dumped' extra time on him without warning etc.

AIBU in thinking that it's none of her business (he does live with her but I don't think that matters) and even if it was - ex agreed in the first place? Thinking I'll just ignore her

I would ignore

Ignore

100% ignore

Ignore her, what am interfering cow. How is it unfair that he was looking after his son for 9.5 hours out of an entire week? If he has any problem with it he shouldn’t have agreed to it

Perhaps you could text back & ask if it's fair you have him all day for the remaining 6 days out of 7...
Seriously though I'd just ignore her but I may feel inclined to mention it to your ex.

Who sees spending time with their child as having them “dumped” on them?? Whether MIL has made that up for herself or whether she’s repeating what your ex said to her, it’s horrible. Poor child.

She sounds like a ghastly stickybeak. Ignore her nosy spite; that will annoy her more than any reply.

Ignore a Grandmother who views her Grandsons contact with her poor darling precious Son, as him being 'Dumped' upon him instead of as a gift of 30 mins additional contact.... defo IGNORE

Ime asking favours from an ex usually comes back to bite you.

Aprilshowersnowastorm : asking favours from an ex usually comes back to bite you

Too true. No good can ever come from asking an ex for a favour. Avoid at all costs.

and it's a pity that asking a Father to share an extra 30 minutes with his Child is considered as a favour too though right....

I reckon he's 'dumped' the childcare on her every time, and it's your ex-mil who does the lion's share of looking after your ds actually... hence her being miffed when she had another half-hour she wasn't expecting. She's got annoyed with you instead of her son.

So out of 168 hours a week he has him 9 and she thinks it’s unfair. Loon. Ignore.

Defo. Agree with everyone so far. I only asked he could've said oh actually I need to bring him back at arranged time because x,y,z and it would've been fine but he agreed!! Will speak to him about it next time I see him and ignore her. She doesn't deserve a reply she's the one who claims my DS means the world to her but is happily moving 4 hours away very soon but that's another thread

Ignore/block her. Nothing to do with her and what a joke! You have him 6/7 days! Time for your ex to step up, maybe? Do you reckon he moaned to her?

and it's your ex-mil who does the lion's share of looking after your ds actually

Probably looking after XH as well!'

Ignore shes not in charge as far as you're concerned

Reply "who is this?"

Actually to the pp who said block her - don't know why I hadn't thought of that! I have no reason to have her unblocked really especially as since I said she's moving away in the next 6 weeks. Hasn't heard from her since I was pregnant and she sent me a nasty text about ex not being at the scans/birth. She's blocked now!!!!

On a slightly separate note - ex has just returned DS. For the 5th week in a row DS has been sat in soaking wet clothes where his nappy has leaked. Ex is always adamant he changes him before he leaves to bring him back (which is usually anything from 30-60 mins away as he always takes him to extended family members) this isn't normal is it?!

I've pointed out how unfair it is that DS has to sit in soaking clothes and said he must not be putting the nappy on right - any tips/advice?!

Take off the clothes there and then, inspect the nappy, and say "nope, you're doing it right, just not often enough. Please try to work with me to keep our sons skin healthy, thanks"

@ellaV that's along the lines of what I've said but he takes DS straight into his room and changes his nappy so I'm taking an educated guess at an incorrect nappy application! He just says 'well I changed him just before we left x place' like it's not his fault he has an argument/comeback for everything I just try and make it all about DS and say 'it's not fair for him to sit in that for 30+ mins just because you can't put a nappy on right'

lol I love the "who is this?" idea!

I have to admit I do feel sorry for poor, tired ex H having his own child for an entire day how on earth he coped is beyond me. Thank goodness he has his mummy right there to stick up for him!

The the ex MIL... block and ignore advice above is great. Although I’d have been tempted to reply with “Twat says what?” and wouldn’t got myself in trouble

As for nappies... maybe try pull-ups when he’s out with ex? No way you can put a pull-up in wrong so then you’d know.

I bet she wouldn't say anything to your face. Texting is so easy: you can make your point and unsettle the receiver. The worse that can happen is that you might get a text back, but you can ignore that. You get a sense of satisfaction.

She'd have a heart attack if you replied: "Call me to discuss this further." (Goady, interfering cowards can't do that, so she probably won't).

But if she does, don't answer. .

@CripsSandwiches you'd literally be his best friend for saying that. He loves nothing more than a bit of attention & sympathy!!!!!