My parents wanted to take my two DDs to an event yesterday (Friday), I had initially said no, and that they should maybe go another time when my mum wouldn’t be going to town the Saturday afterwards so that they can sleep over. As they’d be getting back late, I didn’t want them to come home all hyper and wake up the baby (and honestly I didn’t want to spend an hour doing bedtime with them at 11/12 at night when I thought OH was working late into the early ours).
But after they were being really good and being somewhat neglected by me this week (ill baby) I asked if they would still like to take them but mentioned that my youngest DD had been more easily upset lately and that it was probably best that they didn’t sleep over if grandma wasn’t going to be there when they woke up in the morning, but that their dad would be here in the evening so it was ok to bring them back late rather than have them sleep over.
My mum actually witnessed youngest DD having a meltdown the other day when OH brought her back from school to find that I wasn’t here – we'd gone for a walk to try to get the ill baby to sleep. I reminded her of this when I said that it probably wasn’t a good idea for them to wake up and find her gone.
She told me, at least three times, that she’d be there in the morning.
Then yesterday when they were about to drive away my dad said something about how I should text him when I want them back, the kids will be fine and my mum's going shopping.
My mum texted this morning to say they’re still asleep but my dad is up waiting for them and she’s going out now. WTF, this is the man that I NEVER wanted to be left alone with as a child. It was given, when I was young, that I’d never choose to stay home with him no matter what boring place my mum was going to, I'd always go along rather than stay at home with him.
To be fair, I don’t think he’d treat my daughters like he did me – just general impatience, resentment, scariness, occasional hitting, shouting. He wasn’t always terrible, he tried, was just a bit shit at parenting. I honestly can't remember much of why I didn't really like being left alone with him, but remember clearly that I didn't and know that my mum knows this.
To be fair he’s actually a pretty good grandad and they do really love him but my youngest especially is nowhere near as comfortable with him as she is my mum and I have seen him handle things badly when they’re playing up and youngest is a pretty challenging 6 year old.
They’re just 5 minutes away and I am 99% sure they’re absolutely fine and oldest DD has a phone to text me but I am pissed off that my mum would just blatantly tell me one thing to get what she wants, then go ahead and do another. She’s not usually like this, blatantly at least. She does think she knows best and does do stupid small things that I am silently but constantly annoyed by but this has just pissed me right off but I don’t know if I’m blowing it out of proportion. As I said they are and will be fine, but she said one thing and did another. I have issues with her not respecting my wishes so I’m just extra annoyed now about this petty thing but don’t know if IAMU to be.