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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DNA testing aibu

26 replies

cees · 07/09/2018 22:28

Firstly Fuck off daily mail

My sister and her ex have done an at home DNA test kit (father is questioning paternity) on their youngest. Child and dad swabbed in my sisters kitchen, my sister sent the kit away and results were sent out to ex's house. Aibu to have doubts about the results, the letter says ex is not the dad but there is no headed company name or stamp, phone number or any contact info on this letter so i am right to be suspicious that ex may have tampered with the results. I have also found the same result format online, just some numbers changed. I'm thinking it's pretty easy to fake, what do you think?

OP posts:
BigBlueBubble · 07/09/2018 22:30

Can your sister not ring the company to confirm?

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 07/09/2018 22:32

Apply for cms and get official tests done.

loubluee · 07/09/2018 22:33

Ring the company

Original poster
cees · 07/09/2018 22:34

He gave her results this evening out of hours. She will call the clinic she sent kit off to on Monday.

OP posts:
sue51 · 07/09/2018 22:35

That sounds dodgy to me. I would want samples taken by a medical professional and surely the results would be sent to both your sister and her ex.

PatriciaHolm · 07/09/2018 22:36

Is there any doubt he is the father?

Original poster
cees · 07/09/2018 22:40

That's what i thought sue, i dont know its all so messy, my heart breaks for my nephew either way. He knows nothing of this as he is to young yet. I told my sis to go to doctor and do it without either parent getting swabs or results privately as they could be tampered with. Her ex wouldn't go to the doc instead buying kit and testing himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
cees · 07/09/2018 22:43

Yes patricia there is doubt

OP posts:
Giantsquid · 07/09/2018 22:45

Well it’s not his kid then? She’s shagged someone else clearly as there is doubt... and dna came back as a no. What is there to argue with?

UpstartCrow · 07/09/2018 22:46

there is no headed company name or stamp, phone number or any contact info on this letter

there is not a chance that's a genuine letter.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 07/09/2018 22:49

What is there to argue with?

The dodgy looking letter, as OP stated in her OP. Did you read it?

wijjy · 07/09/2018 22:51

There are disreputable companies about. There is an infamous case about an company in the US that estimates Amerindian ancestry, that gave Native American ancestry percentages to a pet dog.

gizmodo.com/another-dna-testing-company-reportedly-gets-fooled-by-d-1826842819

This sort of thing can be done with ancestral DNA companies (but require a bit of expertise to interpret).

givemesteel · 07/09/2018 23:10

Why on earth did she get the results sent to the ex?

Is this really something you need to write an aibu about before you have even called the company and asked them to give the results over the phone or resend the letter to your sister.

The letter looks dodgy, it's probably written by the ex who clearly doesn't want to acknowledge their child (how lovely).

Difficult as it is to wait until Monday, that's all you can do.

fastfooder · 07/09/2018 23:14

If he did make a fake letter to say he is not the dad then I as a mum wouldn’t want him to be a part of my child’s life anyway.
Fuck him.

Original poster
cees · 07/09/2018 23:15

Givemesteel, my thoughts exactly, why on earth would she do that

OP posts:
Original poster
cees · 07/09/2018 23:19

He has sent the result report to all her family over facebook messenger, he is a vile man and I am the first to admit my sister acted terribly too. It is my nephew who will suffer and my sympathies are for him only.

OP posts:
Original poster
cees · 07/09/2018 23:20

Thank you all for replying

OP posts:
ginswinger · 07/09/2018 23:20

Even the most professional of testing can be wrong

www.revzilla.com/common-tread/the-superbike-murders

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 07/09/2018 23:27

Why on earth did she get the results sent to the ex?

Suspect he gave her no choice.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 07/09/2018 23:28

Will the other potential father consent to giving a sample for testing?

Threadastaire · 07/09/2018 23:32

I've only ever been involved with DNA testing in very formal arenas, such as family court, however at the very least I would expect any reputable company to send any results letters on letterhead paper, with contact info, a named person on the letter (ie a signature and printed name) and a brief account /explanation of how the result was verified. I can't imagine a scenario where those wouldn't be included, any testing company has to evidence the reliability of their test and that includes accountability of testers.

As others have suggested, phone the company when they reopen, they will confirm whether they have done a test or not (it will need to be your sister who does this) The fact he's sent it all over Facebook suggests chancer to me though.

Also I don't know the circs but nothing about your OP suggests your sister has acted 'terribly', certainly no worse than the ex has!

Original poster
cees · 07/09/2018 23:33

He wouldn't go to a doc with the kit as he refused to pay to see the doc (not in uk), he told my sister he was doing it and she could be there or not but he would be doing it regardless.
I don't know what's the story with the other potential dad.

OP posts:
Original poster
cees · 08/09/2018 00:08

Thank you Threadastaire, I will talk to my sister after work tomorrow and pass all information on.

OP posts:
Guitarlady · 08/09/2018 00:39

Something isn't right here. If it were me I would have requested the results come directly to me. If paternity isn't an issue, then take it to court and get the court to do the test officially. If there is a chance someone else is the dad, then .... well... your sister needs to be honest about that!

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 08/09/2018 00:42

Hmm her sister has been honest about it!! They know there is someone else, that’s why they’re testing.