Who should have which rooms?

[Supercala123]

Four kids aged 20 months, 9,12 and 15.
9 year old is with us half the time and with her mum half the time.
House hunting for four bed houses with log cabin type set up for 15 year old. (We’ve done log cabin thing before and it worked well so that’s no issue).
AIBU to think that 12 year old who’s here full time should have second biggest room, 9 year old who’s here 50% of time should have third biggest and baby smallest with myself and partner having biggest room?
Partner thinks 9 year old should be given the choice of room so she doesn’t feel excluded.

Haha magpiefeather glad it wasn't just me!

If the smallest room is a box room, would it work to have the baby's cot/bed in the master bedroom then put a comfy single in the box room for your DH or whoever is getting to sleep, that night? Then once night times become more settled, baby can have that room, alone.

Do others do that? Log cabins as bedrooms for children? I've never heard of it. I thought that they were for home offices?

What Orchidinthesun said. 9 year old has two rooms therefore more space.

Baby should get the biggest room. They need more space. The 12yo and 9yo toss a coin.

I don't see why the room at her other house is relevant

Because presumably she isn't carrying all her stuff from one house to the other. My 9 year old has tons of hooks, Lego models etc. She wouldn't take them to another house if she were sleeping there 1/2 the week.

Books, not hooks! 😂

I'd let the 9 year old have first choice in the next house as she currently has the smallest room. It's what we have always done.

Otherwise I'd just let the two oldest toss a coin for the best room.

Is a log cabin thing in the garden a good idea for a 15 year old? I know this is not the question. But that gives them a lot of independence to get up to all sorts at quite a young age. Would be they feel a bit excluded, woukd they get scared (I would have done, I wouldn't like to be cut off from the family like that).

I would only do a log cabin as a bedroom, say if I had an 18+ year old who was away at uni most of the time.

If 4 bedrooms is your budget, I would be looking for one with a downstairs room you could make into another bedroom.

Can you look at houses where you can do a loft conversion / ground floor extension?

To answer your OP, 12 year old gets smallest room. It's age order. When 20 month gets own room they would then get the smallest room.

The only other option would be for the 12 year old to get the biggest room then share with the 9 year old (if same sex).

Or for the 9 year old to share with the toddler in the biggest room.

But I would look for a scenario where all kids could have their own room in the main house even if it means doing an extension, using a downstairs room or splitting the biggest bedroom in two.

Your 20 month old won’t stay that age forever 😂 so unless you’re planninh another move in 5-7 years time you’re going to be sticking your youngest with a tiny box room.
Kicking the 9 year old out of their room when youngest can no longer cope full Time in box room will cause more tension down the road.

As far as I know it’s common place for children in residence part time to have smaller rooms, after all they get two bedrooms whilst other DC’s have one x

Stand your ground.

Disney Dad is being ridiculous. His 9 yo has two bedrooms & does not need the biggest room. Nor does your 12 yo. Your toddler, with all the toddler toys does and so do you. No bloody way should you spend time sleeping on the floor because a 9 yo is being a little madam and that’s exactly what she would be told.

Biggest room - you two
2nd - toddler
3rd - 12 yo
4th - 9 yo

I ‘get’ that it’s her home too. I ‘get’ that she doesn’t get to to live with her dad all the time and the others do. I ‘get’ that she wants to be as valued as the others. But she doesn’t get to be ‘better’ or more privileged than the others and ‘need’ comes into bedroom allocation, not a 9yo’s ‘it’s not fairrrrrr’.

Obviously I’d let her choose as much as it affordable/practical for her new room & ‘help choose’ things for the rest of the house, garden etc, but no way would she be dictating who has which room.

However, I wouldn’t be having my 15 yo in a log cabin. No matter what they say, I think in the future there’s the possibility they’re going to feel they were pushed out (even if at 15 it sounds great), I think it makes them vulnerable (sleeping alone very outside of the main house every night) Andy I think it gives them FAR too much freedom to come and go unnoticed through their teen years.

So I’d be looking for a bigger house (in a cheaper location if that’s the only option) OR DC’s sharing. Then it depends on b/g and their relationships who shares.

I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old who is a crap sleeper. The 4 year old has a box room and the baby is in a double so I have got room to sleep in there with her. Don’t put the baby in the box.

poster OrchidInTheSun Fri 07-Sep-18 21:13:01
Because presumably she isn't carrying all her stuff from one house to the other. My 9 year old has tons of hooks, Lego models etc. She wouldn't take them to another house if she were sleeping there 1/2 the week

No, but they don’t need as many clothes at each house and books/toys tend to be divided between the houses. If a 9yo living between two houses has as many clothes/toys/books at each house as a 9 yo living only in one house, then that in itself needs looking at.

Log cabin for an 18 year old - great. For a 15 year old, smuggling a boyfriend in and out and feeling excluded from the family - not so great. The log cabin can be for when the oldest has guests / moves out.

Older children sharing the master bedroom with a room divider. You in the smallest room your bed will fit in.

Then you just have to sort out the baby and the 9 year old and that depends on the remaining rooms.