to think that this is strange?

[LongHotSummer24715]

I'm having a difficult pregnancy & suffered a lot of pain this week. I decided last night around 8pm to go get it checked out as it felt very like labour. My BF drove me as we had a sleeping toddler so my DH stayed at home. Previous labour was days so I was confident I wasn't having a baby immediately.
By the time they decided to admit me at 11pm my DH hadn't rang or texted once I called with the update. He had been asleep since I left so hadn't seen the text updates - loads of concern shown! This morning he took off work to get DS off to preschool at 8. I assumed that he'd come straight to the hospital as I had a big scan booked which he knew about at 10. Phone was on flight mode etc at 11.30 I got a text from him asking me to let him know when I was on the way home so he could tidy the mess he'd made before I got in. I replied that I wasn't getting the train home, in pain, 9 months pregnant & to leave the house NOW to collect DS then come to the hospital.
He had no intention of visiting me or collecting me. This is weird right?

He's a great dad to DS but hates showing me affection or sympathy it I'm sick or in pain. I should note that he's very lazy. DS went off to preschool & he hadn't picked up one breakfast item or pyjamas so what was he doing all morning? Sleeping again? I'm on bed rest for 3 days but I havent even asked him about it as I don't have the energy for an argument. I'm not a drama queen & hate confrontation.
Aibu?

A "great dad" doesn't treat the mother of his child like an afterthought. Is this how you want to be treated for the rest of your life?

Sounds like miscommunication to me.

He sounds thoughtless, at best. How does he feel generally about your pregnancy?

Very weird.

Your partner is an arsehole. I am very sorry for you. I hope you and your baby are both well.

Does he have masses of redeeming features to make up for being a huge arsehole ?

He sounds like a great catch much like the flu.

Thanks the baby is fine, just given steroids & told to rest for a few days. He's excited about the baby & talks about it a lot.
But I feel he was more interested in having the house to himself than checking how I was getting on.

medea how is it a miscommunication..... he would have had tonactually phone or text her to see how she was and I don't think you have to discus if your going to pick up your heavily pregnant and in pain he or if she was goi g to get the train.

he sounds like a dick. but I wonder if this is how he shows he's nervouse for you. if he used to you Ben g the strong one and suddenly your not he could just be acting like your fine so he doesn't worry.

ethier way he's an insensitive prick who needs to make up for this

Neither of you seem to communicate at all!

Yes terrible communication from both of us. We were in constant contact from 7-9 by phone & text where I said scan is at 10 and just assumed he would be there. I didn't think I'd need to ask.
He hates the hospital, don't we all, we had spent 8 hours the previous day in the children's hospital with DS for prearranged appointments. But I was there too not just him.

You need to communicate. That means spell out your needs & expectations. People don't think the way you do, so won't do or behave as you would in same situation.

You don’t need to tell your partner and father of your child that he should call you in hospital, come see you and come pick you up - he not just know this but he should feel the need to do this anyway.