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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Older child collecting sibling from primary

19 replies

Orangeblossom1976 · 07/09/2018 11:51

I'm thinking of a part time job and had the idea that the elder (13 yr old DS) could pick up his younger brother (nearly 10, in yr 5) from primary school a couple of days a week.

AIBU? There is after school club but he is not keen. Eldest is very sensible and responsible, would be catching a bus and primary en route so friends walk that way and could meet the younger one in little park near the school.

I'd be Ok for youngest to walk home himself but may need a little support with road crossings. And don't have other support for collection

OP posts:
TheOrigFV45 · 07/09/2018 11:53

I think the collecting and walking home would be fine, but for how long are they going to be home alone for, and what will they do. I imagine your oldest won't want to entertain the youngest.

Littlebluebird123 · 07/09/2018 11:54

A few older siblings collect children at our school.
But they collect from the playground rather than a park.
Is your 13 yo ok with that responsibility? The fact they can't just go out with their friends etc instead?
That's really the only bit I'd wonder about.

Whistle73 · 07/09/2018 11:57

This was fine for my 12 year-old and 8 year old to do a few years ago. They were on their own for an hour until I got in.

upsideup · 07/09/2018 11:58

Long term it would be better if you got the 10 year old able to walk himself home but for now if they are both happy with it then I wouldnt have a problem with it.

Original poster
Orangeblossom1976 · 07/09/2018 12:02

Ok, thanks for replies. It would just be one or two afternoons a week, it is really the area just outside the school where all children go with swings etc, youngest already plays there alone for a while so would be ok, they usually just play on tablets for a little bit or watch TV at home together anyway, and it's not on days eldest has a club...might try and see and check if after school club has a space that could be an option if it doesn't work out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangeblossom1976 · 07/09/2018 12:03

And yes in next year or so youngest could walk alone I think

OP posts:
Creeper8 · 07/09/2018 12:17

My childrens school said the sibling had to be 16!

RedSkyLastNight · 07/09/2018 12:20

Very common round her for secondary school DC to meet younger siblings (there's 2 or 3 common "meet up" spots).
I think this would be fine, especially building up to the idea that youngest would walk home by themselves in next year or so.
Only slight point of concern would be how "busy" the park is in the depths of winter or when it's pouring with rain? If it's deserted, it would be better to pick somewhere where there were other people about, or pick up at school.

jubbablub · 07/09/2018 17:04

Where I work I can’t let anyone under the age of 16 take a child home.

MissLingoss · 07/09/2018 17:09

I imagine your oldest won't want to entertain the youngest.

Surely a nearly ten year old doesn't need to be entertained? He'll just watch tv/read/do homework/do whatever he normally does at home.

Original poster
Orangeblossom1976 · 08/09/2018 11:25

The school are happy to let children in Yr5 go home alone, so no problems there really.

OP posts:
Cloglover · 08/09/2018 11:32

I think it's perfectly reasonable. The only thing I would be slightly concerned about is that if the oldest had a problem on the way back (bus broke down/ detension) and was unable to collect the youngest from a park so I would suggest he picks him up from school. Or at least they both have mobiles if such an issue arose.

PorkFlute · 08/09/2018 11:45

I don’t see the issue? Kids are usually allowed to leave alone from Year 5 anyway? Are you asking if you’re bu to make your eldest responsible for him?

TheOrigFV45 · 08/09/2018 17:57

Lingoss maybe not entertained as such but will need things - snack, drink, help with homework etc. I work from home and find it's a real pain when my 9 yo is around as he often needs something, even just to ask a question.

MissLingoss · 09/09/2018 17:46

A nearly ten yo can get himself a drink or a snack, can't he? Pour glass of milk, make sandwich, or take something from fridge or cupboard, tidy up after himself? Your ds asks you because you're there. If you weren't, he would be able to do it himself.

TheOrigFV45 · 10/09/2018 09:11

You're right. After a day at school he does want to see me and I do find it hard to tell him I'm busy working. A minute interruption seems small to him, but really effects my concentration.

It's an interesting discussion as my circumstances have changed and I'm trying to balance having DS2 (nearly 10) full time along side my full time wfh job.

AriadnePersephoneCloud · 10/09/2018 09:17

It's fine. Year 5 are allowed to walk home themselves anyway and I'm sure at those ages they can amuse themselves til you get home.

WendyCope · 10/09/2018 09:22

My DD has been walking herself to and from school (5 mins) since the age of 10. No problem in my view. An important lesson really.

Somewhereovertherainbow13 · 10/09/2018 09:41

I know schools where year 5 children can walk home alone but a sibling has to be 16 to pick them up

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