Can I just say on here that I will never get together with someone so that they can do my DIY!!!

[recluse]

I am recently separated, and the divorce paperwork hasn’t come through yet. The last year has been traumatic, and ex moved out in April.

My friend seems to think that it might be a good idea to find someone new, as they can then help with DIY around the house.

Can I just say that, having come out of a difficult and controlling relationship, the last reason I will ever hook up with someone is because of their DIY skills.

My friend was saying that if the passion dies after a year or two, they can at least help with stuff.

So basically a repeat of the last years of my marriage. Fuck, I have really had to fight for my freedom, and DIY is not going to make me give it up nor is anyone ever moving in with me and the dc.

That’s all. Rant over .

Genuinely though, a relationship with someone new because they are funny, kind, clever, attractive and don’t live in my house, might be worth it. Always supposing that anyone wants me, but if they don’t, I don’t care .

Also, what’s with thinking that I can’t just remain single and love it?

Nowt wrong with being single. I'd like someone to do the DIY though. But not enough to live with them ;-)

Wow, she has a low bar. And why would you need a man to do your DIY?

Onwards and upwards OP.

Good luck with your singledom op

Enjoy being your own boss.

Has your friend never heard of YouTube? Or B&Q? Or paying a handyman to do things you can’t?! She sounds like she just arrived from the 1950s.

FWIW I’m better at DIY than my DP, as is his brother’s wife. I quite enjoy the satisfaction of building something or putting up shelves whereas he doesn’t have the patience/experience/tools to do it!

Tell your friend to get herself a decent tool kit, make sure she buys the right materials for the job and she can do anything she sets her mind to. She doesn’t need a penis to put up a shelf!

Thanks .

Yes, I was thinking that - why would she need someone for the DIY? And that her bar is set low.

Missed your post My.

Yes I agree that anyone can do DIY. My friend is married, but not very happily. It felt as though she was trying to restore the status quo - ie. me also unhappily hooked up.

But what she said did surprise me, and is a bit 1950s!

Maybe she was trying to justify to herself why she’s staying in a not happy marriage?

No one really gets together with someone so that they have someone to do their DIY surely?

DIY just isn’t that hard. And even if it was beyond you it’s easy enough to hire someone.

What an odd woman.

Was in a similar boat to you recluse when my marriage ended a few years ago. Have to admit, it's the one thing I do miss about my ex (the ONLY thing I hasten to add!) are the little DIY jobs he used to do (whilst I was doing everything else!).

I'm perfectly capable of doing them but somehow with the whirlwind of working and accommodating (adult) children's needs - yes, they still have them even when they are at college/uni/work!) and enjoying a new relationship, the little DIY jobs are allowed to slide. Got to sort them out though as need to sell house next Spring - painting the en suite ceiling is tonights job! Then replacing the trim on the shower cubicle

Urgh, I hate painting ceilings, arm and neck ache galore!

I recall being with my X and inwardly thinking "I'm stuck in a horrible relationship with an aggressive arsehole and he can't even do DIY".

He wouldn't even put right stuff around the house he broke himself let alone put a shelf up or paint a wall.

Well shot of that tosser.

Ha! She is ridiculous. Although, I did mention to DH today that I only married him because he puts petrol in my car...but we both know I was joking!

Yanbu!

Especially as I assume the trade off would be washing his socks and cooking his tea every night. No thanks!

Lol if that's why I was with my dp I would be one unhappy lady! I am deffo the DIY (er?) in our house!

Yanbu

You can always get a handyman or a friend to help with DIY, they won't be living with you and making you miserable though... she's silly

I truly hate chopping and stacking the firewood, I really do. But, my god, I hate the thought of getting back with my ex more.

And why would you need a man to do your DIY?

All of the women I know are fucking terrible at DIY.

But DIY isn't something that needs doing daily or even weekly is it.
H is starting his "but I do the DIY" crap when I suggest he do some cooking. Yeah coz we would suffer from malnutrition without a shelf being put up everyday wouldn't we? Ffs. Tangent there, op, I apologise YANBU crack on.

I've been single 4 years and I do all my own DIY! Only thing I ever pay for someone to do is clean the windows.

Well, I'm not crap at DIY!

Anyway, it's something that you become better at the more you do it, like learning to drive or anything else. There are very few people who can't become competent at it, and the ones that can't have physical or mental difficulties.

It's usually used as an excuse by people who just don't want to do it, like those men that do a bad job at doing the washing/cooking, hoping that they don't get asked to do it again.