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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have a mobile phone?

65 replies

madeoficecream · 06/09/2018 17:18

I did have one once but havent for the last 5 years.
I have a landline and I have a laptop. So I can get skype and facebook messenger and emails. My husband has a mobile and sometimes people send him texts for me but he has it with him at work usually and works long hours.
My eldest son had just started school. My friend was amazed I did not have a mobile and suggested I would need one so I was always contactable by the school.

What are peoples thoughts on this? Is there anyone else out there without a mobile phone?

OP posts:
Original poster
madeoficecream · 06/09/2018 17:55

I arrange playdates via messenger fine as people have messenger app on their phone. Its no more difficult for them to use messenger than it is to text. Havent had any probs with that so far...

Dont expect anyone other than school, doctors, dentists to ring my landline. No friends even have my landline number!

OP posts:
MrsSnootyPants2018 · 06/09/2018 17:55

It's sad but I don't think people can go mobile less now.

Your friends is right about the school contacting you. We also don't have public pay phones nowadays so what would you do in an emergency away from home?

They don't have to be expensive but get a cheap £10 PAYG one.

StarsMoonSun · 06/09/2018 17:58

I think YABU.

Simply for the fact you have dc's and a dh who may need you in an emergency.

So the school will contact your dh who may have to leave work to collect your ds from school if he's ill, when you could've done it instead.Hmm

Also, you could be at the park and take ill or have an accident yourself, would you not be wishing you had a phone with you then?

buttybuttybutthole · 06/09/2018 17:59

I broke mine and was without it for months and it wAs the best thing that ever happened to me. I went into a brick phone with no internet and it was the best invention since the iPhone.

Still have iPad and computer but it's when I'm at home when I choose not compulsive

StarsMoonSun · 06/09/2018 18:02

Furthermore, if you are involved in an accident for example, the emergency services will go through your phone and try and contact someone to let them know the situation.

People should always have emergency contact numbers stored under ICE 1, ICE 2 etc (In Case of Emergency) which makes it easier for the services to know who to call.

If you're taken Ill OP, how can anyone alert your dh if you have no phone?

notacooldad · 06/09/2018 18:05

It's up to you but I can't see the problem with having a cheap PAYG phone. As it's been pointed out we did manage without mobiles in the past but there was a phone box nearly everywhere so if you were running late or something cropped up you could get in touch with people.
I'm not sure why you are holding out about one though, you sound like my mother!!

Creeper8 · 06/09/2018 18:05

Haha I remember posting on here once saying my mobile had broken and I hadnt had a chnace to get one yet. I was called all sorts of names by the people on Mn and told how highly irresponsible I was! They went even more wild when I said I never have credit either!

Original poster
madeoficecream · 06/09/2018 18:06

starsmoonsun my DH would never be able to leave work without finding cover so it would just be him sending me the message which I would see within the hour. So id take the same amount of time as he would to get there. Unless I was already in.
The school is on the same street as my house and I live in a small town so its not like I will ever be that far away.... id see any message and be there quicker than my husband would in any circumstance.

And im pretty sure I could find a way to ring and ambulance or the police if I needed to in the town. Its not like im wandering round moorland at night. Im always surrounded by people and near buildings. Id just go in a pub or a shop and ask them to call for help.. or ask a passer by....
Its very unlikely anyway as like ive said I only go out to the park or to the shop if its just me and my daughter. I only go further afield if my husband is either with me or hes at home. Not when my sons in school and im the only one at home.

OP posts:
Original poster
madeoficecream · 06/09/2018 18:11

starsmoonson I always have my diary planner in my bag and my passport both of which have emergency contact details on.

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 06/09/2018 18:11

As long as you spend most of your time in the house, you don't drive and you don't have anyone that could need to contact you at any moment, I can't see why you'd benefit from a mobile phone.

Certainly a cheap PAYG phone would be useful to anyone from time to time, but if you're dead set against having one then I don't think there's any reason to give it much thought.

EvilRingahBitch · 06/09/2018 18:13

I agree that texts and WhatsApp groups are ubiquitous once your children start school. I’d go for a basic smartphone that enables WhatsApp rather than a dumb phone.

DD’s school texts for detentions, reminders, lunch money running low, and general status updates of all sorts. Anything that’s they need to inform parents of en masse is done by text, and a lot of other stuff is done via an app.

Yes we survived without mobile phones back in the dark ages, but
A) there was a lot of hanging around and panicking when plans went unexpectedly awry. I remember friends’ parents being wracked with terror on at least two occasions when their children disappeared without trace for hours at a time: terror that would have been cleared up with a five work text nowadays. I’ve wasted hours of my life waiting at the wrong entrance to buildings or hanging around for someone who’s trapped in traffic.
B) in those days society was organised on the assumption that if you wanted to contact someone you rang a phone in a building which you thought they might be in. Nowadays large areas of society are organised on the assumption that people at least have a dumb mobile phone which can recieve texts.

Original poster
madeoficecream · 06/09/2018 18:15

notacooldad I just really hate the idea of it. I guess its a bit of a phobia. When I did have one it was hardly ever turned on.

Id make effort to get over it but im not entirely sure I should. Because I cant really see what the point is of me having one as I dont think that personally im in any different situation from people who do have one.
You cant call the emergency services from your phone if you are passed out... Most people cant have their mobile on 24/7 when they are working nor can they leave immediately... people have messenger installed on their phones so sending me a message is just the same as sending a text

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 06/09/2018 18:17

You are putting yourself at a huge disadvantage but as long as you don't expect special treatment YANBU.

Findingdotty · 06/09/2018 18:25

Wouldn’t bother me. But with a teenage child I would probably get a cheap pay as you go one as previously suggested. It means the school can contact you if you are out.

Toomanycats99 · 06/09/2018 18:26

In our school the emergency alert system is a group text. I don't recall any email options.

genivert · 06/09/2018 18:27

It's not mandatory.
Loads of my friends and family work in jobs where it's not permitted to carry a personal phone anyway - they just provide alternative contacts or a switchboard number if a genuine emergency so that a message could be related.

E.g In my close family:
Police officer - locker before shift start
Security guard - keeps hers in staff room with bag upstairs
Bank cashier - absolutely not permitted on the floor, not sure if it's bank wide or her branch but sis said there was an incidence of data being sold illegally and the employee had been somehow Storing data on a phone (?) so massive process review
Surgeon - hygienic environment and kinda full on so I assume that's standard NHS policy as well

Short story is people cope without being instantly available when they have to/want to!

Allthewaves · 06/09/2018 18:29

If your so has serious accident at school, wouldn't you want to know straight away?

Violetposy · 06/09/2018 18:29

Get a cheap Nokia one that just does calls. Child of the 80s here, my Mum had a job where she was uncontactable by the School. I once sat for three hours with a broken arm while they tried to get hold of her. Not fun!

Firesuit · 06/09/2018 18:30

I think it does make increasing sense to have one.

I notice with a lot of financial sites, it is easier to login with their mobile app than on a desktop computer, presumably because the fact you are logging in from a known device counts for something.

Lots of internet security relies on you being able to receive text messages. Banking is becoming considerably less convenient for people who don't have a SIM card.

It needn't mean you have to answer at any time. I almost never answer the phone other than when I'm sitting at my desk at home.

I do have a landline number, which has been migrated to VOIP and so actually is answered via an app on my mobile. (The landline can potentially wring on all household mobiles simultaneously until someone answers.) But I've finally made the switch to giving out my mobile rather than landline number to companies, because if there's any danger of them actually calling, there's no point in having DW phone also ring when they do. It only makes sense for the landline number to be used by callers who genuinely don't care which member of the household answers, for example delivery people.

Quite simple, the admin of modern life is increasingly dependent on you have a personal phone number.

I've actually saved money by terminating my copper landline. I get incoming calls on my old landline number for free via a VOIP provider. I spend £2.50 a month on mobile running costs. Even if mobile depreciation took my total cost up to £10 a month, that's still less than most people pay to have a landline, and I get both mobile and VOIP landline for that price. (Admittedly I could only terminate copper landline because my internet doesn't depend on it, I have fibre-optic to my home, which the majority can't get yet.)

Firesuit · 06/09/2018 18:33

Short story is people cope without being instantly available when they have to/want to!

The are lots of reasons for having a mobile that have nothing to do with being able to make or receive calls outside the home. And having a mobile doesn't have to mean you are any more contactable than you were before you had one.

EvilRingahBitch · 06/09/2018 19:20

I agree - it’s increasingly not about the instant contactabilty, it’s about texts, WhatsApp and other apps, which are woven into the social landscape and which can’t readily be replicated on a laptop/landline. Instagram probably won’t be an issue but it’s a good example of something that’s virtually impossible on a computer.

Penguinsnpandas · 06/09/2018 19:34

YANBU I don't have a mobile and never have. People are 😱 how do you survive and I just point out life existed pre mobile phone.

Got landlines at home and work and e-mail friends. DH has a mobile. No desire to be on WhatsApp etc. Schools have landline numbers and DHs mobile.

ForalltheSaints · 06/09/2018 19:37

If anything happened to your DS at school your husband can be contacted. It is possible to live without one- indeed I only have a work one, and it is turned off at weekends usually.

YANBU

Sparklesocks · 06/09/2018 19:44

YANBU, each to their own - but what do you do in cases like if you’re out meeting someone and get caught up, and can’t text/call to say you’re running late?

LightastheBreeze · 06/09/2018 19:47

DH has one that is usually switched off, he just uses it for his running app.

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