About birthday present....

[Beargoesgrr]

My DD has a friend who’s birthday is in a few weeks time.
DDs friends family aren’t quite as well off as us, im not being boastful. But it’s a fact that makes a bit of a difference in this situation.

The friend was speaking to her mum, can’t really understand why she can’t have the same as DD or other friends, mum says that there’s no way she can afford this brand and that’s that.

I’ve recently ordered one of these things, but DD changed her mind mid delivery, so she was bought something similar, same brand etc but not the one that’s arrived.

The delivery has now come, and I’ve started to wonder if maybe instead of taking it back for a refund that we could gift this to DDs friend for her birthday?

Things that make me unsure are, that the child’s parent has said she can’t afford it, and I wouldn’t want to cross any sort of line.

That I feel I’m treating this child differently because of her parents financial position, DD has some friends who are very well off, those are children who I would never think of gifting them a £40ish gift, so I’m worried about that too.

But also, I feel like, because it’s something we’ve already paid for, and I know she would love it, maybe it’s an exception we could make (usually spend of £20 or less for DDs friends Bdays!)

We’re also closer to DDs friend than the others.
She comes out to dinner with our family, tags along to cinema trips, goes to the park with us and spends quite a lot of time at our house.

Advice anyone?
I just don’t want to seem weird in any way, it feels like a thoughtful gift to me, but I’m not sure if I’m crossing some sort of line.

Maybe the mum is planning to give to her that at Xmas.

I think sticking to your normal budget is a good idea op.

What you're wanting to do is a lovely idea, and, to me, it doesn't come across as you wanting to embarrass the other parent but it could actually make her feel shit if she really can't afford it.

It's a shame you don't feel comfortable speaking to the mum cause if it was me I'd go with the getting 2 by mistake, they won't take them back so you were so you were wondering if she wanted to buy then off you for say £10.

Even this is a minefield though, I think it's one of these situations that you genuinely want to do something nice but by doing that you could end up making someone feel really bad.

Can you get the parent of another child to go half on the cost so that she gets one good present.?

One good present did not sound too good. What I really meant was that it was a present the girl would really like .
It is a difficult one though.

Just give it to her. No fuss, no discussion, no apology for being better off. Just, as your post is, in the spirit of kindness. I suspect it will be very well received and if the mother questions it or seems embarrassed youmcan apologise and tell her the truth. Otherwise give, allow the pleasure whilst saying nothing.

Hmm can see both sides.
Perhaps she’s said to her dd she can’t afford it but is planning to surprise her with it? I’ve done similar before with my dds, just so they’re more surprised. If thats the case then you may be undermining her by getting the gift yourself, as good as your intentions are.
On the other hand, if you had managed to get the item half price, would you be thinking twice about getting it for your dds friend?
I know you don’t want to message the mum, but I think a pps suggestion of messaging to say you managed to find it on offer and would her dd like it would probably be the best. If you can’t do that, then pick something else.