So Exh and I divorced last year following mediation for kids we had some things in place such as we both take it turns to take days off work I’d DC are ill, I buy all the day to day stuff, school clubs and pay for childcare he pays me a minimal amount as I earn more. He was to buy school shoes and coats for new school year as deemed an additional expense ( he agreed this) and half of actual school trips!
In a year he has refused to take a single day off for 2 DC even when one was in hospital for 3 days, took his GF away for the weekend and ‘forgot’ to budget for school coats/ shoes so I had to buy last min. He hasn’t come to a single parents evenin, never phoned or asks after them even said if I didn’t send everything including a packed lunch for a camping trip for DC1 he wouldn’t take him- despite me buying everything needed as the day he goes it on his dads weekend. He has them 2 nights every other weekend but apart from that refuses to communicate and has no interest.
DC are noticing this more and more and while are still young they know here minds and while I was discussing work at Xmas with partner have said they want to sleep here Xmas eve and see daddy Xmas day as last year. As much as I promote there relationship with there dad and NEVER slag him off with them around I feel actually why should he get the nice parts of parenthood when he checks out of everyday life and makes no effort and doesn’t stick hmto what’s agreed. If you can’t even visit or take a day off when your sons in hospital as was agreed in the divorce why should you have the holidays when both don’t want to be there!!!
I know I will be flamed but I feel I do everything (which as I parent I should) but then don’t get the special days with them and he does nothing and does! I am not saying he can’t see them but he collects them in the afternoon as last year.