Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about this parent at school?

29 replies

harrypotternerd · 06/09/2018 12:49

So on the weekend my son was in a performance at his school, my DP, DD and I were sitting in the audience near another parent who had about 5 kids with her. During the intermission, my DP, DD and I were sitting and talking to each other while waiting for the show to begin again.

This parent was in the row behind me with her DP and 2 of her DC and 2 were in our row, with 1 of them sitting next to me. I was suddenly hit in the arm by this child and I ignored it at first. It continued to happen and this child and the one sitting next to her were laughing about it. After a few times I turned around to the parent and said 'excuse me, your daughter keeps hitting my arm'. The parent just looked at me and said 'well she doesn't mean it' and went back to her conversation. I turned back around and was checking my phone, she then leaves her row and comes and stands in front of me and says 'you were aggressive there are lots of kids here, you have overreacted, kids muck around. Get over it' I told her I was sorry if my tone came across as aggressive but it had happened a few times and I thought she should know her daughter was hitting other people. She replied that 'well she is not my daughter and she was bored, you cant expect her to sit still for a whole show'. My DP stepped in and asked if she could go back to her seat as my DD was getting upset.

Today I saw her at the school gates and she approached me and told me that she still thinks I overreacted and I should apologise for telling her about the child hitting me. I told her this happened on the weekend, I wasn't going to keep going on about it and walked away. She then started yelling after me that I hated kids. Another friend of hers came up to me and said I was being unreasonable and should apologise again to her. AIBU?

OP posts:
MyBloodyMaltesersAreMelting · 06/09/2018 12:51

No you bloody well shouldn’t
Stand your ground

CripsSandwiches · 06/09/2018 12:51

Well obviously YANBU. I would try and avoid her as much as possible from now on, she clearly doesn't like being seen to be criticised in any way and won't accept anything but a grovelling apology.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/09/2018 12:52

Well, rather obviously if it's exactly as you've stated it, yanbu.
Would her story be the same?

Losingthewill1 · 06/09/2018 12:52

Laugh in her face and say that if that’s her parenting style no wonder her kids hit people.

BertrandRussell · 06/09/2018 12:55

The only possible reason I can think of for you posting this is that there is more to the story than you're saying. Otherwise you are so obviously not being unreasonable that it's not open to any doubt at all.

harrypotternerd · 06/09/2018 12:56

To be fair I am recovering from an illness which included surgery so wasn't in the best mood which is why I apologised if I had an aggressive tone.

OP posts:
Losingthewill1 · 06/09/2018 12:59

Anyone would be aggressive/annoyed if some brat was hitting them!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/09/2018 13:13

Whose child was it if not hers?

Even if she was looking after someone else's brat child, she should make sure that the kid behaved itself - AND if she "couldn't be expected to sit still for a whole show" they shouldn't have brought her to it.

The woman is an idiot. Don't waste any more of your energy on her. And tell her friend that it's none of their damn business!

AnnieAnoniMoose · 06/09/2018 13:24

‘Well she didn’t mean it’.

I’d have said ‘Yes she did, she did it repeatedly and they were laughing about it. I wasn’t aggressive, but you are attempting to intimidate me and I don’t appreciate it, so go back your seat & deal with the child you are responsible for, she’s with you, I dont care whether shes ‘yours’ or not.

....but it would have played out differently anyway, because I’d have dealt with the child directly.

She was really unreasonable bringing it up again today.

AshenFaced · 06/09/2018 13:25

I know this is missing the point but did you speak directly to the child and tell her to stop?

SingleCellParamecium · 06/09/2018 13:25

I would have told the child to stop hitting me directly, actually, rather than telling her, but maybe that would have had a worse reaction!

Isadora2007 · 06/09/2018 13:28

Yanbu but I would have personally asked the child to stop hitting my arm. And you are a bit passive aggressive saying “about 5 kids with her” as she either had 4, 5 or 6. By saying 5 its like she had so many kids you couldnt count them. And what did she mean by the child wasn’t hers?
It’s all too confusing really and I’d just avoid her from now on or repeat “There is nothing to be gained from discussing this further.”

BerriesandLeaves · 06/09/2018 13:29

She sounds the sort who would say "Don't speak to my child! If you've got something to say speak to me!"
You can't reason with people like that. She should have moved the child next to her and stopped it, not just expected you to sit there being hit.

QuarterMileAtATime · 06/09/2018 13:34

It sounds to me like the woman believes you were accidentally bumped when the girl was moving around or something. And if you turned around and were very snippy about it, she thinks you are making a big deal about a little girl bumping you accidentally. Did you make it clear that the girl was deliberately hitting you and then laughing?

Flyingpigs247 · 06/09/2018 13:34

Sounds like she's one of these people who enjoys picking a fight and probably felt embarrassed and wanted to try and embarrass you in return.
You did the right thing and it was better for you to confront the adult rather than the child as the adult can then deal with it.
Even if the child wasn't hers she was obviously in her care when the incident occurred.
Just avoid her completely.
I don't have the time or energy for people like that.
If she approaches you again just walk away.
Hopefully she'll forget about it eventually when the next person winds her up.

BlackberryandNettle · 06/09/2018 15:47

Avoid/ignore her. If she's shouting in the street people will be able to tell what she's like - she's probably well known! If anyone else asks, just explain that you told her at play that child was repeatedly hitting you, and she's been ranting about you hating children and demanding apologise ever since!

BlackberryandNettle · 06/09/2018 15:47

Demanding that you apologise

Legageddon · 06/09/2018 16:01

I think you sound very childish

Racecardriver · 06/09/2018 16:03

Next time I would just tilt your head and ask in the sweetest tone possible whether she was off her rocker. What a loony way to react.

ButtermilkBiscuits · 06/09/2018 16:08

Absolutely appalling behaviour from that woman. I dread when my DS starts school and I have to deal with this sort of deluded parent.

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 06/09/2018 16:24

She sounds like a nightmare

Hopefully she will let it lie

CoraPirbright · 06/09/2018 16:26

Good grief! What a freak!! Why on earth is she still going on about it and why on earth are her friends pandering to this nonsense and not telling her to get a bloody grip?! I am willing to bet that if you discreetly mentioned it to a couple of other parents, you would soon hear that she is “that mother”. You have unfortunately come across one of nature’s aggressive fruit loops.

Fraying · 06/09/2018 16:28

If it happened exactly as you said then you weren't BU.
If, however, it wasn't her child and it was a young child who accidentally bumped you a few times, then you were being UR.

tillytrotter1 · 06/09/2018 16:50

Never verbally respond to this kind of person, look her up, then down, very slowly and ignore her. This type hates it.

Itsnotabingthingisit · 06/09/2018 17:01

I would love to hear the other side of this story.

Swipe left for the next trending thread