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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Instagram baby model

31 replies

WrongWayMrColins · 06/09/2018 11:34

One of my friends has set up an Instagram account for her baby. She is a very cute little girl but this is not the normal sharing cute pictures with family and friends. She is promoting her daughter as a model and trying to get partnerships with brands. She takes pictures of their little one in designer outfits and puts in links to the website promoting the clothes.

I am not sure what makes me feel so uneasy about this. I think that it is the idea of making money out of such a young baby. It would never have occurred to me to do this with my own little one.

I feel like I am a mean friend for judging her for doing this as I am sure it is a bit or harmless fun. We all like to think our baby is the cutest and them being a baby model proves other people think that too.

I do feel that I am being a bit unreasonable to Jude my friend for this.

OP posts:

InezGraves · 06/09/2018 11:42

I don't think it's harmless fun at all. I think it's vapid, narcissistic use of a small child who cannot consent for advertising clickbait. Why not get an actual job and leave your small child unmolested to be a small child, rather than harassing her for Instagrammable shots in 'cute outfits'? And it doesn't even sound as if this person is making money...?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/09/2018 11:47

I dont see its any different to conventional baby modelling. I wouldnt personally do it, but times have changed and instead of going to an agency, people go directly to instagram. Each to their own.

ShirleyPhallus · 06/09/2018 11:47

Who cares really. Not your child, just unfollow her and let her make her own decisions.

NewGrandad · 06/09/2018 11:49

Why not get an actual job and leave your small child unmolested to be a small child, rather than harassing her for Instagrammable shots in 'cute outfits'?

Molesting and harassing? Really?

Winterbella · 06/09/2018 11:51

Its a little bit distasteful, but I would worry about when the child is older and doesn't look so cute anymore and the revenue stream dries up, the reaction from the mother then. unfortunately nothing much you can do to change this its just something that you'll have to agree to disagree with.

Original poster

WrongWayMrColins · 06/09/2018 12:07

Inez she does have an actual job she is on maternity leave and is going to go back. I know she would not want any harm to come to her little girl.

I think that as her friend I should be supporting her in this. She probably isn't making any money at the moment but has got a lot of free stuff that would be very expensive to buy.
I also worry that if I don't seem supportive enough she will think I am jealous.
I know it is not my child and not my choice but it is not as simple as unfollowing.

OP posts:

ethelfleda · 06/09/2018 12:10

What inez said

InezGraves · 06/09/2018 12:13

I think that as her friend I should be supporting her in this.

Not necessarily, if you don't like it. Friendship doesn't preclude having different opinions. You don't need to read her the riot act and retire in high dudgeon or anything, but there's certainly no need to behave as though her Instagram is the Holy Grail or anything. Treat it like any other slightly tiresome hobby of one of your friends.

No, Angela, I don't want to see your latest macramé potholder/new cycling lycra/the healing blisters from the bit of the Santiago de Compostela you did barefoot.

ProcrastinatingPingu · 06/09/2018 12:17

It’s not really that different to those that model for magazines and adverts is it?
If the child isn’t fussed and it’s money to either provide for her or to save for her I’m not sure why you’re so uneasy?
It’s not something I’d do, DD doesn’t have the best temperament for it anyway, but I have a friend who’s child models clothes for stores and their child isn’t unhappy or she’d stop.

delphguelph · 06/09/2018 12:18

It's just all a bit much really

SpookyMuldersMum · 06/09/2018 12:20

It’s not my cup of tea but I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as what many of the instaparents do. Posting a picture of the baby sitting in a pretty frock is very different to posting a picture of them having a crap on the potty (for example).

glintandglide · 06/09/2018 12:21

All baby modelling is the same though isn’t it? I can’t see the difference

jay55 · 06/09/2018 12:23

If the baby was commercially modelling the hours they work would be strictly monitored and number of days limited.
I’m almost always uncomfortable when this sort of thing is done in the home bypassing the law. However unaware the baby may be.

glintandglide · 06/09/2018 12:26

Yes but that’s also because the baby will be travelling, worked on by strangers and directed by them. There is no reason to limit how long your mum can dress you up and take snaps of you- why would there be?

Haworthia · 06/09/2018 12:26

I kind of know what you mean. My cousin has set up an Insta account for her 6yo daughter who’s into dancing. Loads of posed photos in leotards etc. A couple of thousand followers. But why? Who is she promoting to? I don’t think you can get a place at a prestigious dance school via Instagram

Fraying · 06/09/2018 12:31

She's getting freebies for her DD. I couldn't get worked up over this tbh. New mums usually take lots of pics of their DCs. Your friend adds a couple of links and gets free items.
I wouldn't do it because privacy is very important to me but instagram is full of photos of children and babies.

deepsea · 06/09/2018 12:37

That poor child has not chosen to be a model or had any say (and clearly can not consent) and yet her life has been plastered all over social media and is now irretrievable.

My dd now 13 would be incandescent with rage at the invasion of privacy, the embarrassment of the photos all over the internet that she can not control or change. She thanks me regularly for never putting her in this position.

I have to say your friend is not doing this with the interests of her child in mind, this is reflected glory and free stuff. It does not sound like this has given the future much thought, nor the impact or pressure she is likely to be creating for her child.

I could not support this as a friend. No way. Be honest with her and say you are not agreement with babies and young children being used like this.

glintandglide · 06/09/2018 12:38

I never understand why people say children would be angry with baby photos on social media. Theyre not tagged in any way so how would anyone know who the baby is in 10 years time?

Dvg · 06/09/2018 12:39

don't see an issue to be honest, same as a company having baby models. getting free stuff for your child isn't a bad thing, just causes jealousy to a lot of other people.

If my mum had done that to me when i was a baby it wouldn't have affected me .. i generally wouldn't care.

YouWereRight · 06/09/2018 12:43

In standard modelling, the child would remain largely anonymous, whereas on Instagram their is the potential for lots more information to be available.

I find the idea of making a living because your child/ren is cute tough to square morally. I wonder about their future, and how they'll be effected by their parents plastering then over Instagram or YouTube or whatever.

Original poster

WrongWayMrColins · 06/09/2018 13:05

I agree that it is not as bad as what some of the instants do. It is very much look how cute my baby is and not here she is on the potty.

It is different to conventional baby modelling in that the Instagram account is in her baby's relatively unusual name so people will be able to find it when she is older. I would be mortified if my Mum had done this to me (I am very pleased there was no Instagram in the 90s as the whole world would be able to see my childhood photos).

I think part of her motivation for this is wanting her child to have the best. She has designer everything and this is a way of affording it. I do wonder what will happen if the modelling runs out.

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glintandglide · 06/09/2018 13:25

So say the baby is VeryunusualSmith. 15 years time someone starts looking for her. Firstly, that information is not readily available after all that time (I have family who were heavily featured in the national press 15 years ago, that data can not be “found” by conventional methods, even though it does of course it does still “exist”)

But even if it is, someone searches Veryunusual Jones and finds an Instagram account (if insta still exists) which is open to the public (not changed their security settings either) and it’s full of baby pictures in pretty dresses and accessories.

What is the impact of that? I just don’t understand it tbh

ProcrastinatingPingu · 06/09/2018 13:29

It’s baby pictures in nice clothes not anything embarrassing or disturbing, why would anyone care if baby photos are there of them looking adorable?
Having a poo? Sure, get them off! Sitting on a mat in a Ted Baker onesie? Who gives a stuff?

ShadyLady53 · 06/09/2018 13:43

My friend is doing this with her baby...she refers to the 9 month old child as “an Instagram Brand Rep” and she has to take photographs of the baby wearing certain clothes or items. I don’t particularly like it either but it’s none of my business. Her older children (all primary school aged) are all enrolled in several performing arts schools with attached casting agencies and they go on auditions/model castings etc as well as activities most days after school and at weekends. They perform poorly in school and show signs of very low self esteem (under CAMHS) but she says it’s ok because they are going to have careers in the performing arts industry and don’t need to be academic. I am starting to feel really uneasy about it as she is displaying some quite narcissistic mother tendencies but at the same time comes across as a completely doting mum. I’m close to her (knew her pre children) and don’t know how to handle it, especially when she asks me for advice!

Original poster

WrongWayMrColins · 06/09/2018 14:06

ShadyLady my friends baby is also an Instagram brand rep. I think that the brands do have a say in what she should post.

The older children modelling is much more worrying especially if it is having an impact on their mental health. I don't know what I would advise in this situation as your friend knows that they are unhappy. I would find it much harder to hold my tongue.

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