Closer to London vs much further out

[YolandaTheYeti]

Dh, the dcs and I are (finally) moving area (woohoo)! We have not been happy here and are so pleased we are finally able to make the move.

We had a list of possible options on another thread this week and we have now narrowed it down to;

1. move closer to London (dh works on the outskirts of London). His commute would be a lot better and I would have access to more work in London.

2. move right out to the sticks. DH would have a hell of a commute and have to work flexibly so that it would be viable; ie work three long days in the office and one from home. I would still be able to work, but it would be less due to dh’s longer days and also location. But, we could afford a bigger house, maybe detached and a bigger garden for dcs, (7mo and nearly 4yo).

Full disclosure; I prefer option 1. DH prefers option 2, as he doesn’t want to downsize to a flat, which we would probably have to do to live nearer London. In fact, he doesn’t really relish the prospect of downsizing at all, which makes moving closer to London very tricky.

Any opinions much appreciated.

Apologies for the second thread on a similar subject within a week btw, but it really helps to ‘talk’ things through and read others’ opinions.

I think it depends on whether realistically you're actually both planning to work in London.

If you are, then financially and practically it's probably better to be closer as you'll spend less money and less time commuting. The train into London from further out can easily be £5k+ each.

If you're not, then I'd probably be with DH and prefer the further out option. But then you need to consider the impact it will have on him and your family life if he's working super long days and not getting back until late at night.

How far out of London is he talking for option 2, and how close are you talking for option 1?

I would also go for option 1. Price up DH’s season ticket for each location, and multiply the difference by the number of working years that you anticipate being in the house. That’s the price of living further out; is DH willing to spend that money on rail tickets instead of putting it into your home?

It’s lovely to have a garden but if this is a long-term move then in ten years you will find yourselves spending every weekend as a taxi service, ferrying your children around. Rural life seems idyllic when children are small but it can be miserable for teenagers.

Thanks.

I can work anywhere, but more opportunities for work in London. So, if we took option 2, I wouldn’t work in London.

We are talking somewhere commutable to Feltham for option 1. I’ve been looking at Surbiton, Twickenham, Lower Sunbury, Kingston, maybe as far out as Weybridge, but no further.

Option 1, we are thinking as far out as Bristol or the Midlands.

Hi OP,

That's actually the area I live in, does your DH drive? If he does, there are many more affordable options than the places you've named to get to work in Feltham. Feltham is very accessible by car.

Surbiton, Twickenham and Kingston are all pretty expensive, but if you look around the Feltham area there are more affordable places like Shepperton, Staines, Ashford, and Sunbury (as you said). They are all within 10-15 mins drive of Feltham and you'd be able to get much more for your money, possibly a house depending on your budget, but definitely a more spacious flat or maisonette if not.

I'd recommed looking at Staines or Ashford as they're both reasonably nice areas and the commute to Waterloo is only 35-45 mins. I currently commute from Shepperton and while it's a nicer area, it's a little more expensive and the train takes 55 mins into Waterloo.

Does your DH have to work in London in the long run?

If it were possible I would move to eg Bristol (lovely city), have DH commute for a while and then see if you can both find local jobs when the right thing comes up.

I did something similar (working a few days a week in London and a couple of days out of London at home) for a couple of years until I found the right job in the city I had moved to. It's probably the best decision I have made. I now own a large house (less than 50% left on the mortgage) whilst friends who stayed in London are renting or at best have tiny shared ownership flats with enormous mortgages.

Oh that’s a lucky coincidence bibidy!

I hadn’t thought of Ashfield, Shepperton etc. Will have a look.

From what I’ve heard about Sunbury is that there are lovely parts and less lovely parts, but not a lot to do round there... Although it would be good to be able to go into the city easily, I wonder if it’s no good for older children as they mightn’t have so much to do locally.

Yeah, that’s a possibility ally. He has a job he gets a lot out of at the moment and their only UK office is in Feltham, so he would have to leave his job to leave the office iyswim. He is reluctant to do that and I see why. Not just job satisfaction but some benefits like a final salary pension, flexible working etc.

Maybe some day he will want a change though and in that case, being near a different big city might be the best of both worlds.

*Ashford

I live in a little town in Northamptonshire and the train to London takes 45 minutes. My husband travels a lot so we are lucky to be on a good train line and near M1/M6 easily. Because the area is less desirable we have a large 4 bed house and get to live a ‘village’ type life where we can walk to the park, nature reserves etc etc
We couldn’t afford a similar sized house in neighbouring towns/cities
Depends where you envision your children growing up and whether the commute is worth more of a slower paced lifestyle away from the bright lights of the city.
My husband grew up in central London but his family upped and moved to the sticks when he was ten for a better work/life balance x

Depends on your budget frankly. I’d rather live in a nice flat in Surbiton/Kingston than a house in Sunbury but might be persuaded by being out in a nice village in a lovely big house.

How does he want to commute to Feltham? Drive or train?

With regard to these places v Smaller place nearer London. Try to see it logically. You have small children now ,but obviously they will be growing. You worry about moving out of London will put them in the position of having nothing to do. Fast forward a few years, would you be happy for them at 12-14 going about London with their friends or in a greener,less busy, probable safer environment with more green space, less hectic lifestyle, less teenage gangs / crime.I am miles away from London ( 300+ ) so cannot comment of any of the places you mention but do you really think those places only had children in deeply depressed because they have nothing or no where to go ?

Budget would be an absolute maximum of £450k and we need 3 bedrooms... So I imagine even flats in Surbiton might not be all THAT nice at that price? Though they are falling in London I think.

DH prefers driving at the moment, but that’s mainly because it’s a lot quicker. I don’t think he’d be against travelling by train if that was the most sensible option. I bet his blood pressure would improve too!

Dp commuted from not quite Birmingham for a couple of years.

It isn’t sustainable long term.

Not only is the rail fare astronomical you will have to factor in the nights when he gets stuck in London because of weather, strikes, terrorist incidents etc

Also if your dh’s job is anything like my dp he wasn’t able to leave exactly on time every night so had to get a later train.

In the end dp who loved living where we lived in the sticks. (I hated it) said he couldn’t do the commute any more and we moved nearer to London.

If you have dc who want to see there father then option 1 definitely.

If your dh wants to come in at night after the dc have been put to bed knackered having stood all the way from Euston and has to go to bed straight away in order to get the 5.40am train in the morning then option 2.

Remember with option 2 you have to add into the commute to the station and those houses that are within 5 minutes of the station they are going to be quite pricey and won’t have the land

From what I’ve heard about Sunbury is that there are lovely parts and less lovely parts, but not a lot to do round there... Although it would be good to be able to go into the city easily, I wonder if it’s no good for older children as they mightn’t have so much to do locally.

That is true, but I'd say as you get closer to London that's probably true of most towns. I think you'll be able to tell when you view a property as there's clear differences between neighbourhoods :)

You're right that there isn't much to do but I think that's just because it's the suburbs. I have always lived in Shepperton and while there wasn't buckets to do, there was enough for my friends and I to keep ourselves entertained together, plus we were able to get he train into Kingston every weekend in just 20 mins.

Shepperton/Sunbury/Ashford/Staines etc are all within easy reach on the train of places like Kingston and Richmond (and Central London) so as kids get older they're able to get around with their mates without you having to ferry them :) I think my mum and dad were probably very grateful for that train!

Having a really good think about it, the important thing to me is being able to live the life I like, so near shops, restaurants, family, easy transport and schools. So I’d work out what the best area I could afford nearest work would be.

TBH West and South West London on that budget is tricky but not impossible - I live in a large 3 bed in SW London but in a really not especially nice area (although nearer to nice areas!) and it probably valued at around £450k - you could get smaller for less here. It would take about an hour to drive to Feltham from here in normal traffic.

I’d try Shepperton, Walton, Hersham and see how far your budget will stretch.

Just for a bit of context I live in a lovely leafy suburb of Birmingham, it's 13 minutes from the city centre on the local train then you change platforms and it's 1 hour 1 20 mins into Euston. I do it for work a lot and it is definitely doable.

I would not be keen on a flat with growing children. Assuming you plan to be where you move to for say ten or more years, this would mean the larger property, do-able given only three days a week commuting.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/find.html?searchType=SALE&locationIdentifier=REGION%5E509&insId=1&radius=0.0&minPrice=&maxPrice=450000&minBedrooms=3&maxBedrooms=&displayPropertyType=&maxDaysSinceAdded=&_includeSSTC=on&sortByPriceDescending=&primaryDisplayPropertyType=&secondaryDisplayPropertyType=&oldDisplayPropertyType=&oldPrimaryDisplayPropertyType=&newHome=&auction=false

Just for interest, I did a search on 3 bed properties in Feltham up to 450k. Link above.

Thanks plain. Someone on my last thread said to avoid Feltham itself, although she did say she hadn’t lived the area for a few years, so it may have improved. I only know the train station and Aldi! It looked alright to me.

But I can’t vouch for it past the train station and Aldi!

I think if you've got the choice I'd go for one of the surrounding areas rather than Feltham itself. It doesn't have the best reputation and there are much nicer areas near by.

I looked at a couple of flats there earlier this year and everything felt quite cramped and busy. It's also quite pricey because it's in Zone 6 and the train journey to London is so quick (about 20-25 mins), so you'll be looking at a lot less for your money than the places I mentioned previously.

Feltham does have good facilities though, a few supermarkets, a little shopping centre, a nice Nando's, cinema, bowling, leisure centre, and as I said, the train line is it's number one advantage for people working in London.

It all depends what you're looking for I guess. As someone who lives fairly locally, I just don't think I'd want my kids hanging around on the streets of Feltham or going to school there, but I have never actually lived there so maybe it's a false perception.

Just had a quick look at the places you mentioned in option 1.

Came up with quite a few semis and the odd detached. Hardly consigning yourself to only being able to afford a flat.

Try to see it logically. You have small children now ,but obviously they will be growing. You worry about moving out of London will put them in the position of having nothing to do. Fast forward a few years, would you be happy for them at 12-14 going about London with their friends or in a greener,less busy, probable safer environment with more green space, less hectic lifestyle, less teenage gangs / crime.I am miles away from London ( 300+ ) so cannot comment of any of the places you mention but do you really think those places only had children in deeply depressed because they have nothing or no where to go

I have friends who live in the “sticks” in both the areas out of London that op mentioned and in order for their children to do anything, see their friends, go to the cinema it involves mum or dad playing tag on who is going to drive them and pick them up.

I stayed in London, although in the “sticks” area. I did have to drop off dd and ds at the tube station (5mins away by car) they would just hop on the tube and be off for the day.

Personally I think it is far safer in London than outside of it. CCTV cameras everywhere.
Also there are so many free things to do as well as the free transport.

Dd has friends outside of London and where as she has been hopping on and off tubes and buses on her own since she was 10 her friends are still being supervised by their parents at 14.
Also these friends envy dd as there is very little to do in their hometowns that doesn’t cost money.

Thanks - interesting to read people’s experiences of raising children on the outskirts of London and in the country. I grew up in a town a loooooooong way from London, so don’t know what it’s like to be a teenager in a rural location or in a city.

I think our ideal would be near another city, like Bristol or Birmingham. But realistically, I don’t think that can happen with dh’s job... I think the reality of the commute would be a total nightmare for him and we’d never see him. I already think his commute is stressful for him.

I think our ideal would be near another city, like Bristol or Birmingham. But realistically, I don’t think that can happen with dh’s job... I think the reality of the commute would be a total nightmare for him and we’d never see him. I already think his commute is stressful for him.

Depends on his work and whether they're flexible, but I work in London and plenty of people live in far flung places like Leeds, Wales, even Scotland! It does involve staying away from home though, they will usually come down Tuesday-Thursday, staying over 2 nights, and working from home on Monday and Friday.

It is possible his work would allow an arrangement like that? If that would work for your family of course.

Thanks, I think it would be fine with his work, but then we’d need to find accommodation for dh on those days which would be expensive.