Financial pickle - income - acting ethically

[LanguidLobster]

I already know I am being unreasonable but I'm finding it very hard to resist offers of help.

I have to pay off £1k within one month which isn't too bad (I only work a few hours a week though) then I had my aunt offer me some diamond earrings and I did a quick calculation and thought about accepting them and selling them.

Until I said that I wasn't sure they would suit me and she said in a hurt voice that she would only want me to take them if I cherished them and I realised she would have wanted me to take them and think of her and it was a love gift.

A friend today demanded my bank details but I wouldn't give them to her. She asked me if she could pay money for me.

I guess I'm trying to ask I'm right in not being mercenary? I need to buckle in my belt for a few months but it's not a huge amount of debt.

So tempting to just accept diamond earrings and forward my bank account details though.

Somebody stop me

I don't think it would be right to accept the earrings if you're not going to keep them and cherish them, like she wants. No reason why you shouldn't accept the money from a friend, though, and tell her you're going to pay it back monthly. Say, a d/d for £100 pm?

If your friend is offering to loan you the money, she can afford to do so and you can definitely pay her back in monthly instalments then I would take her up on what is a very generous offer. If the friend is offering to buy the earrings off you (your OP isn’t clear) then that’s definitely not ok. Only take them from your aunt if you would love them and wear them regularly. It’s obvious you know already that to take them just to sell isn’t ok.

Perhaps you could borrow the money from your friend?
With regard to the earrings, you are possibly going to inherit all sorts of things, some valuable some not in life. Unless you build another room on your house you will have to sell sentimental things you get. You can't really accept the earrings and sell them, but don't feel you have to cherish every valuable item you are given from relatives for the rest of your life.

I honestly didn't realise my Aunt thought of the earrings as being a gift for her to express her feelings until she said and then I put them down pretty quickly. I'm not sure how much anyone knows about how worried I am about money at present. Ironically if I said directly she'd just help me out.

I may give my friend my bank account details tomorrow. Urrrk.

Give the friend your details, and accept and keep the earrings

You do know you would only get a fraction of what your aunt paid for the earrings, don’t you?

Agree with your friend that it's a loan and tell her how you will repay it. Either don't accept the earrings or accept them and keep them.

(I have been and sometimes still am very broke to the extent that things like birthday gifts can be less 'what a lovely Thing' and more' How much will I get if I pawn this?'. Stuff you know you will end up pawning and losing is a bit distressing to accept.)

I don’t understand. Does you friend want to lend you money or buy the earrings?

I realise the earrings are a no, as soon as my Aunt passed them to me then said it was something she wanted me to keep. They're only worth a few hundred.

I may ask my friend, I've had a few unexpected bills the few months with little cat dying appliances etc so am trying to balance out. And not be unethical as tempting as offers can be!

Unless you build another room on your house you will have to sell sentimental things you get.

True, but it's a single pair of earrings from a loved family member - even if they're Pat Butcher's finest, they're still hardly going to need a room to themselves, are they?

No the earrings won't take up much room, and you can't accept something like that to sell. However in ten years time, and the earrings have just sat in the jewelry box, it's ok to sell them. You can't keep everything.

You do have some really nice people around you: a lovely aunt and a good friend.

You're right not to take the earrings and sell them, I hope you do accept them as a gift.

Borrow the money from your friend and pay it back regularly on a monthly basis, Then your worries will be over. One day you may be in a position to help someone else.