To talk so openly about my sons special needs?

[GinPink]

So we moved to a new area about 10 months ago. My son has a serious speech delay and has some potential other SN which are being investigated. It could just be that he is (very) late to reach milestones, we are not sure yet.

I'm getting to know other mums in the area - some are parents of friends of my other children, some live on our road etc. I tend to bring up his speech delay quite early on, as often people will ask him questions which he is unable to respond to. I'm keen to make friends but worried it's inappropriate of me to share such private info so early? Are they going to sit there thinking I'm an ott Mum who worries too much and over shares TMI? It's just a bit awkward when he doesn't reply and sometimes I worry he may be conceived as rude. Along with the speech he dribbles a lot, as he has poor control over his muscles in his mouth. Once a parent at a class really told him off for spitting. I was sad for my son who just didn't understand, he was just trying to join in and got excited, he didn't mean to spit at her at all. I guess I just want to let people know early so they will know there is more to it than meets the eye. He gets very frustrated due to his communication problems (ie tantrums a lot) but on first appearance looks 'normal' (I hate that word but can't think of a better alternative, sorry).

I am also worried how much my son picks up on, and how he will feel hearing me say for example that he has developmental delays?

I think it is normal and natural, and helpful to let other parents know.
I presume he is still quite young from your post?
It's what we do when together with other parents, isn't it? Chat about our dc. Much better to mention it than have other parents politely trying to not mention what they will notice anyway.
You can always say that he is having some assessments to see how you can support him, or something if you feel he might pick up on 'developmental delay' (though this would be unlikely if he is young, and if his development is delayed).

To avoid using "normal" (and therefore implying anything else is 'not normal') on MN, people often say 'neuro-typical', which then gets shortened to 'NT')

Thank you @BackforGood 😊

Personally I would much rather know the situation early on as another mum so I am aware of what to expect. I would only consider it over-sharing if you went on about it at great length in our first conversation, or if over time it became clear that you had no other topic of conversation.

Should have added then to 'great length ' without any questions or encouragement from the other person to do so. Some people may ask more in which case by all means give more detail. I doubt any of this would be the case reading your post.

I think maybe a quick 'he has some speech issues, please be aware. He can find it difficult to communicate. So, how is x,y,z going?' and leave it at that.

Id say I don't talk about it in great length, i sort of casually drop it into conversation when it comes up and move the conversation on if they don't ask more questions. i then worry maybe I don't look caring enough and like I'm almost unbothered by it all, maybe I'm just an over thinker 😂

Thank you, you're posts have made me think that I am probably talking about it in the right way 😊

I'm completely with you here. Husband with spina bifida with many complications. Also half deaf. I always mention it early in a conversation because it affects his interaction so much. Plus they understand then.

If I were you I would mention it so that it doesn't come as a surprise to other parents and they will be more sensitive towards him. Do it in advance, discreetly, out of his hearing, it would not be helpful for him to hear you talking about his personal stuff.

He won't be the only kid to have some developmental difficulties so please don't worry.