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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell neighbor to cross the road

52 replies

MrsHoodwink · 05/09/2018 23:10

Long story short my dog was in the gated/fenced front yard with me while my daughter was dropped off by her dad

Neighbor from down the road walked past with their small dog who started barking (snout through my gate) at my dog

I have a German Shepherd and it barked back... I think it perceived the other dog to be a threat to my child so retaliated. All bark no bite mind as many GS owners will know Wink

My neighbor snapped, told me “get hold of that effin dog” and then said “I don’t like those, they’re vicious” and was raging at me

AIBU to say when I next see them if you don’t want to deal with it, walk on the other side of the road Grin (To be honest 90% of the time we’re never in the front yard anyway)

Also my dog wouldn’t have batted an eyelid if their’s hadn’t done anything, apparently because mines louder and “looks” scary we’re a danger Hmm

OP posts:
Ovaltine1 · 06/09/2018 07:44

YANBU OP. The yappy little dogs always wind up the bigger dogs. Mine simply ignore the twatty ones and play with the fun lill ones. Took a lot of training.

Also, your dog is in your gated garden. He can do whatever he wants, as long as he is secure.

Soubriquet · 06/09/2018 07:45

I have two rats on leads Grin

However mine are walked daily with plenty of off lead exercise

If I see another dog, I put mine on their leads because I know they will bark.

Some people don’t listen and let their dogs run up to mine but luckily mine are all noise

I do tell them to stop, but they won’t until we are away.

But mine are on the lead so under my control

glenthebattleostrich · 06/09/2018 07:48

Fuck, I'm already training my 9 week old toy cockapoo puppy not to be a yappy little shit! Some people shouldn't be allowed dogs.

We used to have a German shepherd, he was a rescue who'd been abused. My family were the first people who had ever treated him well (we took him from his owner / abuser and phoned the vet and RSPCA). He was brilliant but because we'd rescued him he was very protective of us. He was amazing, excellent recall and super behaviour but a little bit growly or barky if he thought one of us was being threatened.

The number of people who thought it was ok to allow their rats on leads off lead to bother us was insane. They would nip at him and he'd ignore but if they tried to nip at us he'd growl. Only growl. Apparently he should have been put to sleep because he didn't like is being bitten by their poorly controlled 'but he's only tiny' mutts. My dad started to offer to train their dogs as clearly they were incapable!

Had the same problems with our staffies. Because some people are basically dicks. My brother's Jack Russel on the other hand was adored, yet he was the one who bit my nephew totally unprovoked (nephew was napping on the sofa) almost costing my nephew his eye.

I could rant all day about it!

Greyhorses · 06/09/2018 07:50

I don’t really understand why it seems to be so difficult to train those little yappy things Hmm

If I can have 3 german shepherds walking loosly and silently beside me why do people struggle with a chihuahua for dogs sake Grin

Greyhorses · 06/09/2018 07:50

Gods sake however appropriate autocorrect!

periperimenopause · 06/09/2018 07:51

YANBU. I'm totally with you here as your dog was on your property and doing its job.
I would add a couple of things though. I own a shih tzu. She is the loveliest natured dog you could ever meet because we have trained her not to be a pampered arse. She also protects our perimeter by barking -but is never off leash when out of our garden and isn't allowed to run up to anyone - as not everyone likes dogs and I'm not going to be responsible for a child for example developing a fear or making an existing fear worse for someone as I'm not an entitled twat. So I'm really just pointing out it is the owner that is the problem in just about every case and not the dog - whether you consider it to be a rat or not.

My other point is your neighbour (while I do think they were completely in the wrong) likely got a fright? I am embarrassingly aggressive if I get a shock /surprise type fright. I can honestly surprise myself by what comes out my mouth so hopefully the neighbour will be shamed enough by the mouthful they gave you to choose to cross the road in future? Either way, your dog responded in a completely appropriate way within its own territory...the neighbour needs to suck that up regardless of the difference in size of the dogs.

5000KallaxHoles · 06/09/2018 08:12

I don't think it's fair to everyone who lives nearby if you've got ANY type of dog (and I'm not anti-GSD cos I love them) that fence charges and barks as people go by. Guy at the end of the street has two small dogs (there's a mini schnauzer and another thing I've not seen) that go absolutely ballistic and almost jump the gate every time someone walks past the garden - end of the street so you can't avoid it and I hate walking past as they're ALWAYS dumped in the garden unsupervised. When I'm walking my own dog past I have to walk down the centre of the road or it gets ridiculous with the way this thing goes bonkers - and I don't see why I should have to be walking in the road because she can't be bothered to work on her dog's behaviour.

Strugglingtodomybest · 06/09/2018 08:13

If someone allows their dog to bark at yours and then wonders why yours has retaliated, then they're too stupid to think about.

^^ this

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/09/2018 08:15

Not nice for anyone really to have your dog behaving like that. Why not get it under control so it doesn't do it?

As I understand it, OP's dog was in her own garden. Do you really expect a dog to be chained up and muzzled in its own garden?

Of course a dog will defend its own territory and family - any dog would. Little-dog-person is the one who should have kept is rat-onna-string away from the gate.

OP - tell him that if his dog sticks its head through your gate when your dog is out for wee or whatever, you can't be responsible for your dog behaving like a dog.

And there are a damn sight more people/other animals bitten by small dogs that by large ones - we don't tend to see it all over the newspapers because they do less damage - but they do it more often.

If he persists in being a twat, and complaining, I would tell him to bugger off (and good day to you, sir). I really would.

I have a neighbour whose dog used to come and shit on my front garden almost daily (he walked it off-lead around the streets) and when I pulled him about it, denied it was his dog that had done it (dog was always yards behind or in front of him, so he didn't "see" it). I had dogs myself and they would almost two themselves through the window at it!

He persisted in allowing this despite my asking him to put it on leash in the street (which I don't think is unreasonable), so one day I grabbed it, put it in my garden and called the dog warden. I didn't hand it over as a str - that would be cruel - I told the warden exactly what had been happening, and he spoke to neighbour about it. It was kept leashed on the estate after that.

I don't know why some people think their desire to have an easy life trumps everybody else's needs.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/09/2018 08:18

Gods sake however appropriate autocorrect!

Autocorrect is a bastard Greyhorses. SO are chihuahuas.

I think little dog owners often think the their dog doesn't need to be trained because they can pick it up, and it can't do much damage (though I've seen a child's face bitten by a tiny dachshund and it wasn't pretty - child fell over in front of the dog and startled it),

Whereisthecoffee · 06/09/2018 08:21

Some little dog owners are great but a lot of people pamper them to the point of them ruling the house. In my experience many people seem to think it’s fine for small dogs to be bitey and aggressive and do as they wish with no regard for others.

Santaclarita · 06/09/2018 08:24

Your neighbour is the twat here. Your dog did nothing wrong. Their dog started it. Not your fault they are scared of big dogs.

I used to be scared of German shepherds, but then met a nice one on holiday and don't mind them now.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/09/2018 08:29

Santa - like almost all dogs, their behaviour is determined b the way the owner raises and trains them.

I've met lovely GSDs and an unpleasant one. Can say the same for most breeds.

However, GSDs are a "guarding" breed - they are particularly territorial and protective of their families - and so they should be. But any dog will bark if another sticks its head through the gate and sounds off at it.

Juells · 06/09/2018 08:32

I have a yappy rat-on-a-rope and walks are pretty miserable :( I walk the dogs less and less because of the embarrassment. Nothing works - with her, anyway. The dog was initially as bad, they were three and four when I got them, and had never been outside, so had never met other dogs. He calmed down quickly, but seven years later she's still just as bad. It's fear-aggression, the barker is hoping that they sound so frightening that the other dog will keep its distance.

MilaMorpho · 06/09/2018 08:53

I wouldn't be so bothered at the dogs barking/yapping at each other, that's what dogs do - your dog was in his own front yard in his own right to protect or not like the little one to stick his head through the gate. I'd be more fuming at the reaction and cheek of the owner of the other dog!
I've got large rescue dogs including GSD's and Rottie's and even though I was cautious of when I had my kids, my dogs do not have a nasty bone in their body towards people or other dogs. However Barking is normal towards other dogs!

twiglet · 06/09/2018 09:22

@MQv2 it's not all small breed owners my friend has a toy poodle who is perfectly well behaved and my dog plays with a king Charles spaniel poodle Cross also tiny.
Unfortunately though there are a lot of small dog owners who don't train their dogs,unknowingly make them more aggressive by picking them up when other dogs are around/carry them and then come out with the line aren't they cute when barking/nipping etc. As a large dog owner you automatically get the blame.

MrsHoodwink · 06/09/2018 09:28

These replies give me faith in dog owners again Grin

OP posts:
Santaclarita · 06/09/2018 09:34

SchadenfreudePersonified oh I never blamed the German shepherd that scared me. It scared me as a kid by knocking me over, but all it wanted to do was play, it loved kids and never intentionally harmed one. After that any that I saw I would hide from in case it did the same thing. But then went on holiday and the B&B owner had one and I made myself stroke it. It was a lovely quiet dog so it helped me get over my fear.

Whereisthecoffee · 06/09/2018 11:24

I do get annoyed at dogs that launch into frenzied barks and lunges at the fence when people walk past though. I understand defending their house but it’s frightening for little kids I don’t think dogs like that should be on the front garden all day. One of my big dogs is house defensive so unless I’m out there they don’t go out the front. I know that’s not the case with your dog o.p I’m just rantingGrin

SusanneLinder · 06/09/2018 12:02

I get annoyed when dog owners with small dogs allow their dogs to come up to my rather scared big lurcher and nip at her legs. This is when SHE is on a lead and under my control. Had an argument with a chihuahua owner who did this. My lovely girl tried to get away from it (her dog NOT on lead), and when dog persisted, she growled and bared her teeth.....apparently my fault. I gave owner what for....Grin.
Disclaimer...I know not all small dogs are like this.....but this one had a fucking outfit on.....

CherryPavlova · 06/09/2018 12:13

Yes we have problems with little yappy things. Ours is an energetic, loud but sweet natured beast except he will react if a small yappy thing nips him once too often. As a large dog, it is assumed he is the aggressor- when he’s only being defensive when under attack.

We have problems with stupid parents who tell their children to run over and stroke the spotty dog. He doesn’t like small children having been mistreated in his first home. He certainly doesn’t like them running up to him squealing. He barks. As a very big dog he barks loudly ( but never bites and is a real wuss). Children start screaming and parents start shouting at my poor dog who just wanted to be left alone to sniff his way along.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/09/2018 13:03

this one had a fucking outfit on.

That says it all to me, Susanne.

Hoppinggreen · 06/09/2018 13:07

My GR once literally punched a pug in the face after it had run around him yapping a few times while the owner tried to catch it. Ddog was on his lead and he sat looking baffled for a bit ( his usual expression) until he had enough and punched it
The owner accused him of being viscious - unfortunately for her even though he’s not but I am

MrsHoodwink · 06/09/2018 15:14

Cherry Yes that’s my dog’s issue, they’re an absolute wuss but when they do bark because they’re big it’s so loud!

It’s such double standards that little dogs can bark all day long at everyone but mine barks once and is labelled aggressive

They want to see aggressive they should wait til I start barking Grin

OP posts:
sosoverytired · 06/09/2018 18:22

I actually walk my Rottweiler on 2 leads. Not because she is at all aggressive but because she is scared!

She gets jumpy if smaller dogs come around her while out and we all know which would get the blame if she ever were to defend herself. ... so 2 leads means she can never be blamed.

Ps. She is the softest thing ever but protective of my kids. But not even a little out of control.