Aibu to not know how to help my sister?

[FannyOutOfTheFarawayTree]

She is 20. She was pre med then got pregnant. 5 years later she is living on and off with a man who has 6 children with my sister and another woman. Ds is expecting her third.

He has no qualifications and works ‘cash in hand’ doing god knows what. They are both part of a strange church. Think long dresses and headscarves. I think it is because her dp has an authority role in that church leading bible study etc, when in real life he would be called a loser.

I even asked how he meshes not being married and being so religious and he says ‘God knows we are married in the spirit ‘ .

I don’t know how to help her. She had a good upbringing in a naice household.
Wtf.

Sorry, what does “pre med” actually mean? Are you in the UK?

I can tell you’re distressed. But I don’t think there really is a lot you can do, unless you think there is something untoward or illegal, like abuse, happening. If she’s an adult and she’s decided this is what she wants, then I don’t see what you can do.

Sorry I can't understand your post

You said in your op that your sister was “pre med”. I was asking what that means.

Are you in the UK? Means... well... are you in the UK ? Advice might be different depending on where you are, you see .

Ugh sorry duck. I thought you were the op there! As you were.

I'm assuming not about to go to medical school if she was pregnant at 15, but I'm not sure then what pre med would mean either.

Does she want your help?

Is pre med actually pregnant. She was pregnant, and then pregnant again five years later, and is now expecting her third? Her partner does odd, cash in hand jobs. They both live in a church where DS partner is an elder.

You want to,help,your sister as you feel,she is wasting her life and/ or not in a good situation.

Can you talk to her and explain your fears? If not, all,you can do is be supportive and be there for her in case things go wrong.

Not a clue.

Doesn't "pre-med" mean she was a medical student?

You can't help her if she doesn't want your help. All you can do is support her and be there for her if it all goes wrong to help pick up the pieces.

Sounds like one of those wierd cults in the US

Pre med means doing medicine at uni.
No other advice I'm afraid.

Pre medicine at university

was she 20 when she was pre med at uni, otherwise timescale sounds off if she was pregnant 5 years ago and is now 20 ?

Sorry, I was trying to change small details so as not to put her then got the maths wrong. She was on a track to study medicine, top grades valedictorian etc. Her school boyfriend has turned out to be a loser.

She did not complete any after high school qualifications as she dropped out when pregnant. They now are expecting their third child, about 10 months between each and he has three other children from times ‘they were on a break ‘

I’m at my wits end.

To out her.

Any suggestions?

You can only help her when she wants you to help her. Does she?
In the meantime just make sure she knows you are there for her if she needs you.

Thanks mayhew