How to fit everything in

[strugglingpuggle]

Can someone please let me know how on earth they manage to fit everything not a week without finding an extra day somewhere. I am struggling. I somehow need/want to find time to do all the below but always seem to fail somewhere:

Work full time with a 30 minute commute each way. Normal office hours.
Have a clean and tidy house.
To get to the gym once or twice a week
Actually spend time with DD (2 years old)
Spend time with dh (works shifts pretty much opposite to my office hours job!)
See family at least once a week (2 x sets of grandparents, one of which make excuses not to come to ours so we have to go to theirs)
See friends so we have some sort of social life
Usual life admin
Food shopping (do this online but seem to struggle to find time to actually order it)

I realise I am very lucky in a lot of aspects but I am seriously struggling fitting everything in! When I prioritise spending time with Dd, I get dh moaning he doesn't get enough attention, and then when I try and spend time with him the daily housework gets neglected and ends up piling up! And then he ends up back on night shifts and never see him anyway!

I work full time Monday to Friday and often work away twice a week. I also have a second job one day each weekend. I have three DS'S. I never get to see friends, struggle with life admin(do it on trains or at midnight). I only get 5-6 hours sleep a night. I'm permanently exhausted. I spend my one day off seeing family and going shopping.

I got a cleaner. She does ironing too. Best money I've ever spent

Hello can you make a plan of what you think is a fair split and then bring it up with him and then with the help of your marriage counsellor?

It's a bit ambitious with a two year old but not impossible.

Honestly though would ditch the gym membership in favour of a cleaner any day, you can work out at home to save you so much time on travelling to the gym and back.

I thought from your first post before the update even that your husband moaning that he doesn't get enough attention was a bit unreasonable, that's not really a thing if you're living together just spend together when the little one is in bed. You have all weekends together and can organise a date night every month easily? But really you've got small kids he needs to not be so needy

I try and tell him that if he isn't happy with how I do things then he can do everything, but then the moaning of how I don't do anything starts so I can't win.

In my mind there is more to life on the state of cupboards and I'm pretty sure when I am older and reflecting on my life I won't be thinking I wish my cupboards were tidier!

Pouring milk away - this is his wife's job why? Is he not capable to lift it or something?

Short answer OP to your original question is you can't.

Reading between the lines it sounds like you have allowed other people to control how you spend your time. I don't mean that in a horrid way I mean it factually. You sound like you want to keep everyone happy and meet their frankly impossible and self centred demands. Take your power back.

E.g the grandparents. If they want to hang out do a joint trip to the supermarket!!

It sounds like you have much bigger problems at home with DH. Best of luck.

Omfg I would take each and every tin from the cupboard and ram them one by one up his naughty pipe. Asshat!

So the next time he moans like this, shrug, tell him to crack on if he thinks it’s a problem and give it not one ounce of headspace. You’ve got enough going on!

That load would leave me frazzled.

Too much to fit in.

Yes to ramming them up his naughty pipe.

He's your biggest problem, talk up every time he moans why you've not done this or that say back why can you do it? Why is it my job?

Seriously easier (and more enjoyable) being a single mum than putting up with that shit.

I would love a cleaner, unfortunately we brought a new house recently

Where did you bring it from?

TheWinter Are you really bringing that up on a thread where the op is describing feeling overwhelmed and having an unsupportive husband? Because I would suggest if you are that would make you a nasty cunt.

Hi there I'm sorry to hear you're feeling overwhelmed...I think with the house move as well then it probably feels 10X worse as you've gone through a huge change. I've always worked full time (son now 5) and it's very challenging to fit everything in. I think the truth is that you don't, or in my experience it takes longer than anticipated.

We also have a cleaner, and when we didn't, hubby and I would try and do a 1-hour blast on a Saturday morning after DS had been to Rugbytots so he was happy to watch TV or play by himself for a bit. Anything not covered in that time had to wait. Things like tidy cupboards I do every now and again and just do one cupboard rather than thinking I have to do the whole lot, anything extra is a bonus. The washing machine also has a 30 minute cycle which is a huge help and hubby and I hang out the washing together (I have to ask, he wouldn't notice it needed doing....).

I also love fitness and am lucky in that my work has a gym but before that used to use a local gym which had 30 minute classes so can fit this in during lunchtime. I travel overseas in my job from time to time and always take gym kit or do something/ go for a walk as I have a fit bit so there's a reminder to keep moving.

The friendships side I find hard, always have done though Will be following your thread to see how others do this...