Pissed off at husband when dd is poorly

[inthekitchensink]

Don’t know if ibu because I’m just bloody knackered - i’ve been ill for a week with a virus & migraines, DH helped a lot at the weekend with DD. Last night DD2 caught the bug and was sick all night.After the first chunder he went to spare room as had to be up at 6 - but he was still in bed at 10 because he was tired. He also slept til 10 on Monday. Not a big problem work wise as he’s a co-founder of his company and works out the office a lot, but I’m annoyed at this never ending lazy selfishness. AIBU?

YANBU. He’s not ‘helping’ he’s parenting.

How old are the kids? M

Thanks for replying. She is 2, and I’m a SAHM at the moment after just retraining to be a preschool teacher. So I get it’s my job to do the week stuff, but think it’s all hands on deck when she’s ill if he is able to lie in bed til 10! Also in the last 3 months he has had a week in Majorca alone because he was tired, and two weeks to himself while I took her to see family, and a trip solo to a festival. Just don’t feel he is doing his bit and I feel like leaving him.

He’s not doing his bit. When do you get your week abroad because you’re tired?

I’m sorry, I obviously need new glasses. I could have sworn I just read that your adult husband, who is a parent, took himself off to Majorca because he was ‘tired’.

Nope he definitely did that
When's your holiday op? Aren't you tired?

Wow, he's selfish.

So so tired I can barely see straight. But would it be easier without him? I don’t know. Less resentment perhaps. He won’t change. Gah I don’t know what to do!

If he won't change then how much longer would you put up with this? 1 year? 5 years? He's basically selfish

Yabu when he went to the spare room he intended to to get up at six.
He is running a company , you are running the home and just the one child.

MyDcAreMarvel but he didn’t get up at 6, he got up at 10am. Because he’s a lazy parent and flakey business partner by all accounts. I still can’t believe he went off abroad alone because he was ‘tired’. I genuinely wouldn’t have been there when he came back if it were me, and I rarely jump at the LTB line.

I almost left at that point, but I persuaded myself that if he was on the way to a stress breakdown then that’s what he needed to do. But now, I’m just sick of it. He could still run his business & live almost exactly the same life as he does now without us, we don’t impact him at all. And he told me to fuck off when i asked if he was going in and why so late. Go deal with your crying child, he said. I think I’m going to my mums for a few days and think it through.

Sorry can't get past the fact he went to Majorca for a week because he was 'tired'
You do know that's not normal or fair. I'd have told him to stay there. Absolute joke.

The fact he said 'your child' and not 'our' child tells you all you need to know about how he feels about family life.

The go deal with your crying child and fuck off would be the last straw for me. Done. Outrageous.

I think one person sleeping in the spare room while the other deals with the sick child is fine. That said if he's able to sleep in until 10 he should do some of the night shift and let you sleep (he could be with DD until 3 am then still get a solid 7 hours!).

The stuff about going away on his own because he's tired is outrageous and I would be seriously considering my relationship with him! He's a grown adult who decided to have a child and unless he's a total idiot should have been prepared to be tired sometimes.

Sounds as though the only positive he contributes is money. If you left him you'd still have the money, and you wouldn't have to be sworn at and treated like crap.

Thank you all, lots to think about. Good to that on the whole ianbu

I’m sorry. He sounds horrible and selfish.

Well I’d take him at his word and would fuck off with my child.

Ha yes I should do that! I’m not terribly assertive, and tend to just close up when he gets like that.