My ex admitted to having a serious drug problem during the last year of our relationship (cocaine and Valium). He'd had a drug problem before (dating back probably a decade) but I am ashamed that blindly believed him when he'd said he hadn't done any since we got married.
This new confession means was definitely under the influence at times when he was the primary caregiver for our now-2-year old son (though he did virtually none of the childcare - I now thank god - he generally left it all to me). For the last 7 weeks he has sulkily agreed to drug testing but I am suspicious he has faked at least one of these.
Now he is saying he will do no more drug testing as a condition of contact with our son, and called me his "parole officer" and says it's totally unreasonable. But I worry about l our child's safety with someone under the influence. I am going to ask my lawyer too, but would love some fellow parent POVs too. AIBU?
Nb - I suggested ad hoc testing - ie. if I have any reason to believe he was under the influence (so not even requesting weekly testing ad infinitum).