Vulvas

[MeMyselfand]

What's all this vulva chat about, lately when I've seen any front bottom chat on here it's all vulva this and vulva that. Surely people don't call it their vulva in real life when talking to someone about it.

What do you call yours?

[BumDisease]

Or cringier!

[Sassypants82]

I say vulva, cos that's what it is. My 17mth old is just learning to speak & also says vulva. My 4 year old son knows we have vulvas & he & his Dad have a penis.

It's not at all weird or strange and at least they'd be completely understood if ever they had anything to say about their genitals. How confusing must it be to hear 'my foof/fairy /cookie is sore' or whatever, to someone who is not familiar with the particular family name for a vulva (like crèche teacher or doctor or even grandparents).

[bonbonours]

I rarely use any word to describe that area unless I am talking to a medical professional and then I would use vulva because that is the medical term. With kids we say girly bits which covers the whole area and is pretty obvious what they are talking about. They know the real words for all the various parts having done it at school though.

I do find it odd when people go on about 'use the correct words' and then go on to use vagina incorrectly.

But it seems to be more and more acceptable. I work within the legal system and judges routinely describe sexual assault as 'touched her on her vagina'. Every time I hear it I think, you can't touch ON a vagina you can only touch IN it. Which in legal terms is penetration and a completely different offence....

[rhubarbfool]

It's like referring to your mouth as your throat because you think throat sounds nicer - really weird.

"I've got a dry throat"
"Do you mean mouth?"
"Oh God, you think you're so clever, you know EXACTLY what I mean"

I don't get the accusations of superiority, or winning a battle; none of them - biological or nicknames - are words I need to use on a regular basis but if I hear or read someone saying vagina when they mean vulva, it jars. I suppose because I know what's what - it is quite shocking that so many women are unsure.

[prettybird]

I remember when Glasgow was doing the consultation on the rollout of the SHRE programme (Sex, Health and Relationship Education), they said that it also helped identify potential sexual abuse, as the younger children knew the correct terms rather than euphemisms.

So, if (and I'm making up this example), a wee girl were to say to a teacher, "My uncle keeps on touching my rabbit and I don't like it" they wouldn't necessarily know there was something amiss

But if the wee girl were to say, "My uncle keeps on touching my vulva and I don't like it" then alarm bells ring instantly

[Juells]

That sounds a bit daft. Why would an abuser use the correct term?

[Iseveryusernametaken]

I'm nearly 40 and in our house we have 'twinkles'. My mum referred to it as a 'sixpence' when I was little. I have a vague understanding of the formal labels that my twinkle has, but I don't think that ignorance of this would have held me back in life.

[IAmSproutycus]

pretty, it’s more so that the child themselves can tell you what’s being touched. It’s really important and it helps when you’re working with them post abuse too. Hope that helps.

[ashtrayheart]

I can understand a midwife asking how things are 'down there'. What if multiple parts are sore following childbirth which I imagine would be normal? Are they meant to say 'so how is your vulva, perineum, vagina and any other bits of your nether regions which may have been affected'?

[IAmSproutycus]

Sorry, not pretty, meant juells

[eco1636]

ashtrayheart - made me spit out my tea, haha

[Marie0]

If I need to refer to my vulva as my Volvo 🤣

[prettybird]

Indeed IAmSproutycus - that's exactly the point

[Juells]

IAmSproutycus

Sorry, completely misunderstood your point. I thought you were saying that if a child referred to her vulva it would be an indication she'd been abused, not that it helped subsequently.

[Silvercatowner]

I'm afraid "Spaced" ruined the word 'vulva' for me. I just descend into giggles. But I am old and this thread is hysterical.

[daddyorscience]

We've gone anatomical with DD(8) and DS(6). "vagina","vulva", penis", "testicles" etc.

Better to know your own bodies, I say.

[0hCrepe]

If a child used the word vagina instead of vulva I think everyone would be sure what she was talking about as well.

[0hCrepe]

Also no you wouldn’t say throat to mean mouth but you might say mouth when you mean gums lips etc.
Similarly stomach is sometimes used to cover basically anywhere in the torso from the lungs down.

[dudsville]

I've never had a conversation about my vulva, vagina, or anything else in the region.

[butterflysugarbaby]

I just say fanny. Most people I know would say that, or would say VAJ or vagina or foof.

I have never heard anyone irl refer to their ladybits as their vulva, and if they did, I would laugh at them, and take the piss out of them, as would anyone I know.

Only on here do I see people call it a vulva.

They are within their rights to do that, but when people say vagina, and someone comes on here and says 'I think you mean VULVA OP' the person 'correcting' the person saying vagina looks like an obnoxious twat.

And they are the same people who, when someone refers to a 20-something female as a 'girl,' say 'I THINK you mean WOMAN!'

Sanctimonious gits.

[Birdsgottafly]

dudsville , not to anyone, ever? Have you never been to a Sexual health Clinic of any sort, are you sexually active?

That's really unusual.

[lljkk]

The word vulva has never crossed my lips & never will.
If someone IRL tried to correct me for saying vaj for vulva I would either ignore or scold them for being a patronising arse. Or maybe laugh at them for being a patronising arse. So many choices.

[80sMum]

BertrandRussell "It’s deeply depressing that women do not know what their own genitals are called"

^This! Though I would use the word surprising rather than depressing.

I thought that all children had been receiving sex education in school for at least the past 25 years. So how can it be that girls are not taught the names of their body parts?!

I also thought that the majority of children study science to GCSE level. So, again, it's difficult to understand how they could not know such basic information about the human body.

[DN4GeekinDerby]

Similarly stomach is sometimes used to cover basically anywhere in the torso from the lungs down.

I've been thrown by this before, and it's even worse when a professional uses "tummy" to refer to pretty much everything on the front and sides from the bottom of the ribcage down to the hips. I think they're trying to put people at ease doing that but I always find it off-putting and confusing because to me that sounds like something stomach or at least digestion-specific rather than the rest of what can go on in that area.

I don't tend to talk about genitals much in person, certainly never discussed a bikini wax and typically when discussing medical things, the specific part is left off as with issue with things llike UTI or tears during birth, I wouldn't think of going into the specifics with almost anyone outside of a medical professional.

I've used vulva when talking to my kids, I've also used genitals, bits, 'what's in your pants' (typically involving asking them not to play with them in public), and probably a bunch of other things. I agree that mocking or correcting someone for using any term when you know what they mean is pretty rude, but I don't get why using specific terms is more sanctimonious unless they're correcting people on it. I knew some very sanctimonious growing up who called it all 'hoo-hoos' and had rather low opinions on people using specific terms. I think there is space for both being precise and general social terms that we don't need to divide people into groups for which they tend to use.

Only on here do I see people use foof, front bottom, cookie, I've heard fanny on TV a few times but I can't recall anyone actually saying it in person around me and typically on TV it involves jokes about the difference in the US and UK usage. Maybe I just have a social circle that doesn't discuss their genitals much.

[0hCrepe]

I’ve got not problem with people using vulva and I would if I needed to say it in a medical environment but I actually haven’t despite 3 births loads of smears and cervix biopsy and colposcopy, tears and stitches and coils. All happened without me saying vagina or vulva. One midwife once said ‘push out your bum not your vagina- do a poo’ when ds needed to get out quick. Apart from that it has all taken place without need for describing what’s going on when it’s bloody obvious.
It’s the posters who insist on correcting the use of vagina which is widespread and happens in schools when teaching children body parts (not in Scotland I’ve learned) and completely derail the thread just to get snotty and depressed about using the ‘correct’ term.