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AIBU?

Vulvas

275 replies

MeMyselfand · 05/09/2018 07:00

What's all this vulva chat about, lately when I've seen any front bottom chat on here it's all vulva this and vulva that. Surely people don't call it their vulva in real life when talking to someone about it.

What do you call yours?

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MustBeDreaming · 10/09/2018 13:14

I've literally never heard anyone use "foof" IRL, must be a regional thing! I don't remember anyone mentioning their "lady garden" or "fanny" much either. Most people I know either use the correct anatomical terms or obfuscate with words like "bits" or "parts".

There's nothing weird or arrogant about using the correct words for things.

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subspace · 10/09/2018 12:21

Eleven or more pages of what people call their own anatomy?! Let then call their own, their own name, who cares.

.... as long as they're not calling it an incorrect anatomical name, because my linguistic/scientific/pedantic self can't cope with that 😉

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GabriellaMontez · 10/09/2018 12:07

Im not sure why so many people are desperate to never use the word and deride anyone else who chooses to.

I've used it. Rarely. Why wouldn't I? There is a world where people aren't afraid to say "vulva".

Maybe you should ask yourself why you're so reluctant ? Why exactly do you think anyone who uses the word should be "mocked "?

Because the girls at school misused it? Do you feel silly? Why?

My daughters know the word and several colloquial terms. I'm hardly going to teach them the wrong words for their own genitals.

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SalemBlackCat · 10/09/2018 10:36

DieAntword, on the contrary, we should be teaching our daughters the appropriate terms for their genitals, especially children, it just may help them if they're abused and need to explain to police or people like this. One would think it VITAL to know the correct term for your body, surely?

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recluse · 10/09/2018 09:07

Yes okay, I will. Off to start it now Grin.

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MeMyselfand · 10/09/2018 09:06

recluse 😱 you've got to give the poor wee thing a name Grin

You should do a naming thread and ask everyone's opinion

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recluse · 10/09/2018 09:04

Growing up, it was referred to as our “little bottom”. Which now would be fitting actually, when compared to the size of my “big bottom”.

Ugh - cringe. Again, not sure why.

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recluse · 10/09/2018 09:02

I have just realised I never call mine anything, and never refer to it in any way.

And I hate the word vagina. Always have. Not sure why.

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DieAntword · 10/09/2018 08:58

Just because a term is widespread, doesn't make it right. It is the whole 'would you put your head in an oven if everyone else did' argument, to me. Just because others misuse of the term vagina is widespread (lol pardon the pun), doesn't mean you should encourage it. Perhaps if vulva starts becoming more used, it too, will then become widespread. Which is the whole point imo, to MAKE the word vulva more widespread by being used more.

They’re just words. There’s no objective right and wrong here. Colloquial use is as valid as scientific use as long as the context is colloquial.

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BluebellCockleshell123 · 10/09/2018 08:48

Nothing to do with the debate but I've just used VULVA as a word in online scrabble against my MIL. 48 points! A fine word IMO.

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SalemBlackCat · 10/09/2018 08:40

Just because a term is widespread, doesn't make it right. It is the whole 'would you put your head in an oven if everyone else did' argument, to me. Just because others misuse of the term vagina is widespread (lol pardon the pun), doesn't mean you should encourage it. Perhaps if vulva starts becoming more used, it too, will then become widespread. Which is the whole point imo, to MAKE the word vulva more widespread by being used more.

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mikapatika · 10/09/2018 08:29

Hoohoo here quite often said with full comedy effect using the background music from dragons den ....

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Sarcelle · 10/09/2018 08:28

I call it “me nethers” as in my nether bits. Although I don’t often have cause to talk about it!

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Furrycushion · 10/09/2018 08:20

Any man referring to his 'bits' (in ANY social situation) as his penis and testicles would be laughed into the middle of next week
Really??? I had a conversation with my (adult) son yesterday, who told me his friend was recovering after an operation on his testicles. I didn't laugh & I don't imagine he did when his friend told him either.

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starcrossedseahorse · 09/09/2018 19:53

butterflysugarbaby yours is probably the dumbest post I have ever seen on MN and that's saying something. Jeez.

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rhubarbfool · 09/09/2018 18:38

And how many men do you hear referring to their tackle as their penis and testicles? It's their cock and balls, or lunchbox, or package, or privates, or dick, or crown jewels, or tallywackle, or a multitude of other nicknames....

Yes, but if they needed to use the correct terms, they'd be able to. You think there are men out there who would refer to their testicles as their penis because testicles isn't a nice word to say?

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butterflysugarbaby · 09/09/2018 18:14

@BertrandRussell

It’s deeply depressing that women do not know what their own genitals are called.

Blimey, you're a bit over dramatic! Wink Deeply depressing?! Get a grip FFS.

Most women DO know it's a vulva, but just prefer to use a different name.

And if they DON'T know, so what?

@lljkk

The word vulva has never crossed my lips & never will.

If someone IRL tried to correct me for saying vaj for vulva I would either ignore or scold them for being a patronising arse. Or maybe laugh at them for being a patronising arse. So many choices.

LOL at this. Grin And I agree too! Smile

As has been said by many posters, vulva is a horrible word, and it's weird to say it. Most women say fanny or foof or lady garden etc.

And how many men do you hear referring to their tackle as their penis and testicles? It's their cock and balls, or lunchbox, or package, or privates, or dick, or crown jewels, or tallywackle, or a multitude of other nicknames....

Any man referring to his 'bits' (in ANY social situation) as his penis and testicles would be laughed into the middle of next week. And any woman referring to HER bits as her 'vulva' would be laughed at, and mocked - and quite rightly so.

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Zoflorabore · 09/09/2018 15:29

Vulva is such a horrible word though Smile

I've never ever heard anyone in rl say it.

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DieAntword · 09/09/2018 15:26

If I had a girl child I’d probably go with fanny but since I don’t I literally never need to talk about it.

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starcrossedseahorse · 09/09/2018 15:21

It’s you who is resistant to the fact that vagina is a widely used term to cover the whole area

And this is anatomically incorrect. Women should be able to name their parts for goodness sake!

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foxtiger · 09/09/2018 14:22

No one would go to their GP and say they’d sprained their hand, when they meant their wrist presumably.

No one would go to their GP and say they'd sprained anything - they'd say they'd hurt whatever it was, and ask what the doctor thought they'd done to it, and the doctor would say bruised or sprained or broken or "I don't know - better go for an x-ray." If you already knew it was sprained you wouldn't need to go to the doctor.

For what it's worth, I have met a few people who didn't know the exact names of various totally uncontroversial parts of their body. When I first met my DH, he wasn't familiar with the term "calves" (as a body part).

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0hCrepe · 09/09/2018 14:19

It’s you who is resistant to the fact that vagina is a widely used term to cover the whole area.

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rhubarbfool · 09/09/2018 14:13

Also no you wouldn’t say throat to mean mouth but you might say mouth when you mean gums lips etc.

Gums and lips are part of the mouth, as opposed to the throat, in the same way that labia and clitoris are part of the vulva, as opposed to the vagina.

I don't know why it's so hard to understand, or why there's so much resistance! Use whatever euphemisms you like but at least understand basic anatomy.

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0hCrepe · 09/09/2018 14:08

But vulva is pretty non specific anyway. It covers the whole external area, so medically it isn’t much use if a particular area is being narrowed down without physical examination for some reason.

I also feel quite sorry for the medics being criticised. How are they to know each patient’s particular vocabulary? They’re told not to use jargon and have a friendly bedside manner- this is hugely important. They come across people from all walks of life, with massively varying linguistic, social, cultural and educational backgrounds, people with anxiety about hospitals and all stuff medical. They know about how the body works and medical terms that most people don’t have a clue about. They can’t win. Maybe in medical school when they have their lectures and practise interacting with patients (I’ve been in on this as a pretend mum to be and the student was told not to use technical vocabulary) there should be a sub note to say if patient is significantly Boden use slightly more technical vocabulary so as not to incite fury or cause onset of depression.

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Magpiefeather · 09/09/2018 13:01

It’s just clearer and more specific to use the proper terms, or at least know them and have the option to use them. This is the crucial point. For children to know them. Fine if they use euphemisms or slang in everyday speech but if they need to tell someone (parent, teacher, Doctor...) about a problem with a part of them it’s so important that they have the words at their disposal and can say them without being embarrassed.

Even the analogy of “my face hurts” if it was, say, your nose that hurt, falls down because one’s face is not as private as one’s vulva.

I am teaching my daughter vulva. She will hear the colloquialisms and I will tell her what they mean if she asks. But at least I know she will have the right words if she needs them as I will have armed her with them. Yes that includes other body parts like pharynx, intestines, stomach, kidney, whatever.

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