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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Making it all about me?

5 replies

JosephineBucket · 05/09/2018 02:34

My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer over the summer and is having a mastectomy soon. Thankfully it was caught very early and considered very treatable but it has knocked me for six. The thing that is bothering me is that I've become obsessed that one day I'm going to die and that's it. I've suffered from depression before but never had this level of anxiety and panic. I've been to the doctor who has put me back on Sertraline and referred me for CBT.

She said it's normal to become depressed facing a parent's mortality but it's making me think of my own mortality and I feel like I'm just making this all about me. This is only in my head - Mum will never know this and I've been as supportive as I can. Am I being selfish or just in denial that one day I might lose my mum?

OP posts:
BuffyBee · 05/09/2018 02:45

How you are feeling is pretty normal so I wouldn't worry about that.
As you've suffered from depression before, something like your Dm illness can trigger it again, along with the anxiety and panic attacks.
Listen! All seriously normal reaction.
It's scared you and again pretty normal. So stop worrying that it's just you and go to the Drs and get in some anti anxiety medication.
You're being supportive to your Mum, which is lovely but you're bound to be a bit scared as well. Anybody would be but as they've caught it early and it's very treatable I'm sure that you'll have your Mum around for a lot of years.
You can also self refer through the NHS website for Healthy Minds Anxiety Management Courses.
So go to your Docs and ring the Healthy Minds and get this damn anxiety under control so you can have a happy life with your Mum.
Flowers

JosephineBucket · 05/09/2018 02:57

Thank you for replying- I needed to hear that. It doesn't help that I'm not sleeping well so my perspective isn't the best. I need to be strong for her and I don't want to let her down.

OP posts:
BuffyBee · 05/09/2018 07:58

Tell the Doctor that you're not sleeping well as well, he may give you something. It try Kalms Night time.

JosephineBucket · 05/09/2018 23:56

I'm not sleeping because my mind goes into overdrive when everyone else is asleep and I can't control the anxiety. I will talk it over with the doctor as I have a medication review soon.

I'm staying with my mum for a few days after her op to help her out and strangely it helps a bit to be able to do something practical rather than worry uselessly at home.

OP posts:
sockunicorn · 06/09/2018 00:03

OP I have PMd you, but its perfectly normal. Same thing happened to me xx

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