Friends son

[sleepyhollow1]

We're on holiday with friends and our 3 year old sons (will call theirs jack for ease of reading). This is the first time we've spent much time together with the kids.

The entire time their son has been denigrating our son, and turning absolutely EVERYTHING into a competition.

For example, both kids drawing jack starts drawing all over ds paper and saying how bad it is.

Ds pretends to be spider man, jack says spider man is rubbish and he's done other super hero who's much better and he doesn't like spider man.

Ds wants to make a sign for kitchen to say no running, I say good idea. Jack says stupid idea.

This evening he pulled ds's pants and poured sand down them. I wasn't there but dp saw but was too far away to say anything. We've been generally just been trying to ignore jack when he says these things and trying to be extra positive about what our Ds is doing.

However, it's really starting to piss me off. Is this standard 3 year old stuff? I honestly can't see anything that Ds is doing that warrants this response. Ds is really not bothered about competing.

DD had a "friend" like this at nursery. They went through Svhool together until y4 when we moved. The girl never got any better but I was able to teach dd how to distance herself from the child and protect herself.

She even destroyed some Mother's Day artwork dd had spent a week making. 6 years later dd still remembers bless her.

Keep addressing Jack for now. Don't go away with them again.

I get that the pregnant mother is resting but what about the Dad? Why is he not keeping Jack in check?

I agree with the others, hand Jack back to his parents.and say to them in front of Jack that DS needs a little alone time as he is finding Jack too much as doesnt want to play with him anymore. Give examples, and especially the sand incident yesterday. It could go either way -perhaps they will dismiss you over protective or perhaps they acknowledge that Jack has been mean. Either way your son gets a break.

Some kids are like that. It's difficult with friends children, I think you need to have a day off from Jack. Try to limit the time they spend together. Try to be nice about it and say I think the boys need a break from each other if you need to.

I think it is jealousy and a desire for more attention. When he has to be with you I would praise the things he is doing well and try not to draw too much attention to his poor behaviour. E.g. ‘Jack that is a lovely picture. You are using so many great colours. I like how you are doing all your colouring on your own paper’. At 3 attention for bad behaviour can be just as reinforcing as attention for good.

The idea of parenting Jack is lovely, but you're on your holiday, presumably to spend quality time with YOUR ds.
If jack adds to your fun that's lovely, if not-had him back each time.

Thanks for all the advice. The last few days have been a bit better because we've just distanced ourselves slightly.

However, Ds got pretty irritated with "jack this afternoon, and they actually started to fight. I obviously stepped in and massively told Ds off. I asked afterwards if something was bothering him, and he said "the way jack is being". Not sure if that was just an excuse, but it wasn't great either way.

I actually feel quite bad ie his mum and dad because they had a massive freak out at him today.

What were they freaking out about? Poor kid sounds like he's having a hard time because.of them

Freaking out at his behaviour. They said he was being a bully.

Well they are right, Jack is a bully whether it’s in his nature or because of their parenting.

I agree with CircleofWillis. I’m wondering if he will respond to positive reinforcement.