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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was mismanaged

34 replies

Badhairday77 · 04/09/2018 22:44

So dd2 plays football for a team. The team play 11 a side and all was going well. At the end of the season the coach resigned.
It has taken the club about 4 weeks to contact parents re a plan. I suspect that at least partly due to the uncertainty 6 of the 15 players have resigned leaving us with not enough players to form a team or a coach.
Aibu to think that more should have been done by the club sooner even if just promising relief coaches until a replacement could be found.
Feeling cross that the season has now started and dd no longer has a team.
I did foresee this happening and have made enquires but most club have already had trials and recruited at this late stage.

OP posts:
PlonkyPlink · 04/09/2018 22:50

I’m assuming that the coaches at the club are volunteers? And so not easy to replace? Everyone else who runs the club (secretary, chair, etc) are also likely to be volunteers. If they all give their time for free, then yes, YABU.

sproutsandparsnips · 04/09/2018 22:51

That's very disappointing for your dd, and indeed may have been mismanaged, but am I correct in thinking that it is all run by volunteers? In that case I think YAB a bit U.
I manage a rugby team which has had to combine with 2 others so the boys can continue to play. Would this be an option for your dd's team? It's not ideal but often when players and parents aren't totally committed this can happen.
We have an agreement in place so if we are in a position to do so we can revert to our original club.

CitySnicker · 04/09/2018 22:51

Volunteers?

sproutsandparsnips · 04/09/2018 22:52

Sorry cross post with plonypink

sproutsandparsnips · 04/09/2018 22:52

Oops plonkypink

sproutsandparsnips · 04/09/2018 22:53

Bloody hell PlonkyPlink

Badhairday77 · 04/09/2018 23:44

I know deep down iabu as they are volunteers. Guess I am just fed up as it keeps happening. This is the 3rd time a team has folded.
Sadly no teams that they can merge with and my best efforts to find her a new club have failed.
I guess I just wish that they had been more upfront as soon as the resignation happened. Thus giving us more time to find a new team.

OP posts:
NewIdeasToday · 05/09/2018 00:23

They will be volunteers doing a rather thankless task. Why don’t you volunteer to help with managing the team. Then you can help to find a new coach and some extra players. Problem solved.

missusZee · 05/09/2018 02:42

What do you do beside dropping your child off to play?

You are the problem here.

Coolaschmoola · 05/09/2018 02:45

If you don't like the way other people are giving up THEIR time and energy you could always give up some of your own?

MissusGeneHunt · 05/09/2018 06:03

Might be worthwhile contacting your local FA base and asking if they've got any new coaches on their books. I was involved with the FA as a parent of a grassroots player, and they were quite helpful. They'll recommend all the necessary qualifications (coaching levels / safeguarding etc) if you have to start again.

Good luck!!

Badhairday77 · 05/09/2018 06:32

Thanks missus Too late for that as so many of the players have found new teams.
I have admitted Iabu and with respect nobody knows how much support or time I have given up for the club. E.g. giving lifts and fundraising. All of the parents have done all they could to try and recruit. However. I feel our efforts were too late as we were not made aware how bad the situation was until quite recently. Admittedly I have not volunteered to take on the job of the coach but do haven't got the required skills to do that. I have in no way criticised the coach.
It just feels more like a communication issue.
Time to find dd a new sport.

OP posts:
missusZee · 05/09/2018 06:43

A new sport?

Think a little more deeply about what you're teaching your daughter here.

A new club perhaps, but not give up skill she's spent time developing.

Unihorn · 05/09/2018 06:50

Does she play girls' football or mixed? Around here the girls' teams never seem to last long which I find really annoying. I played on a mixed team growing up, until aged 12 when the FA no longer allowed it. There was only one girls' team in the area who consequently had to travel all over to play. I think the FA allow mixed until 16 now though.

Does her school have a team? My high school started one for us when I was in Year 8 so I got to play another couple of years.

Badhairday77 · 05/09/2018 06:51

We have tried all we can to find a new club. We have sent countless emails and spent hours researching. Either the teams no longer exist or they have full squads. She won't give up the sport. She is going to try for the school team.
She has said that if she can't find a team she wants to try a new sport.
I am going to take a step back and put the ball in her court. Pardon the pun.

OP posts:
Badhairday77 · 05/09/2018 06:53

I should also have said that she can rejoin when an adult as there are plenty of ladies teams in the area.

OP posts:
Badhairday77 · 05/09/2018 06:55

She plays for a girls team. Every year another team or two folds. She wouldn't want to play in a mixed team even if she could.

OP posts:
Fireworks91 · 05/09/2018 07:03

Where have the other players gone?

HuckfromScandal · 05/09/2018 07:11

You are the problem
A bit of fundraising and lifts means you are the problem,
My BF has just quit as coach after 8 years. And not because if the kids....
Parental expectation is unbelievable
And you are the problem HTH

Thatsfuckingshit · 05/09/2018 07:13

Well you knew the coach was leaving. You have been through this before, so you could have managed your handling of it better too.

I hate when people expect their kids hobbies, that are not businesses, to be run like businesses.

You may not have the required skills to be a coach. So get them. My son plays for the local rugby team. I do the food every weekend, the money raised funds. I have done the first aid course and coaching course and help out at training. Lots of parents have. The reason we did it, is looking forward what happens if a coach or first aidee becomes ill, or leaves or simply doesn't want to commit to it anymore.

We planned forward. If we don't have enough first raiders, there's always someone who can jump in. We paid for our own courses, as the club didn't have the money to train spares. For the couple to parents that couldn't afford it, we fund raised.

Your daughters sports team is not a business. Getting volunteers isn't easy and you need to forward plan. There is plenty that people could have done in anticipation of this. Especially since the team has folded before.

Parents who only turn up for matches and the high profile stuff like running fundraising, annoy me. Especially when they are then the first to criticise when something happens that they think 'could have been done better'.

Badhairday77 · 05/09/2018 07:14

As far as I am aware most of the ones who left have joined an older team . Dd is quite petite for her age and doesn't want to do that.
The remaining 9 are not yet sorted.

OP posts:
Badhairday77 · 05/09/2018 07:19

Fundraising is the refreshment stall. But I get it now. Iabu.

OP posts:
Excited0803 · 05/09/2018 07:21

Can she join an adult team that play for fun? Or a mixed team? Or offer to assistant coach a junior team for the year to get a new set of skills?

Excited0803 · 05/09/2018 07:22

Or advertise for new players and a new coach.

Thatsfuckingshit · 05/09/2018 07:25

Fundraising is the refreshment stall

It may be for your club. But for our club the food and drinks a small part of it. Fundraising comes in loads of other forms.

And just doing that isn't enough. You want control, get involved more. You want to have a say on how they handle things, this is so important to your daughter, get involved. Do the coaching, the organising of games, training plan etc

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