To contact boys mother?

[lazyladyjane]

Basic story. Daughter starts high school, not settling too well...nerves really. As expected, Hates change. Highly over sensitive but trying her best to cope with change. Boy from primary has started teasing her about her hair colour at lunch times. He's done this for years and she's managed to ignore, but now she's worried others will copy him and it's really upset her. Considering contact mother via Fb, asking for him to stop, but just don't know if that's too much! Know she should sort it out herself really, or that we should wait it out but it's just really ruining her start at school...

No. Sort it through the school. They need to known its happening too

Let the school sort it

I agree with Gunpowder - talk to the school about it.

Tell school and let them have a word with the whole class / year about bullying etc and what the consequences would be. That way he won't know it's about him but might give him a wake up call as to what could happen?

No I wouldnt. Speak to the school, and try and help your daughter understand that this is childish idiocy and decent people wont be swayed by it.

Always go through school. Never through the parent. The latter never turns out well.

Thanks, school it is then!
She's well aware that people will always tease her, and usually she's doesn't care, or sticks up for herself! It's just she's in a new environment and so so nervous.
I'm also getting pretty fed up of having to tell her that she just has to deal with it/ignore it etc etc. She shouldn't have to.
Appreciate the feedback x

Do NOT contact the mother. That would be a massive mistake because she will undoubtedly side with her child. Go through the school and consider getting your daughter therapy to learn how to deal with challenging life problems.

I have done this - round one via school email - later discover school did nothing
Reported it to parent, mentioning junior school issue continuing into high school. She never know about junior school despite several emails to school.

It stopped

Don't rely on school

Genial email 'Hi would you mind asking X to stop teasing Y about her hair please, she's quite sensitive and is finding it annoying.

Thank you - hopefully they'll both settle well at school and we won't have any further issues.

Aquamarine , she doesn't need therapy to deal with being ginger! She loves it. She just needs others to stop being idiots!
She's usually resilient but high school is a huge change that has thrown her askew.

I'm also getting pretty fed up of having to tell her that she just has to deal with it/ignore it etc etc.

You should have contacted the school after the first couple of incidences. It was cruel of you to tell her to just deal with it herself.

Green tulips, I will definitely copy and paste that!

consider getting your daughter therapy to learn how to deal with challenging life problems

Think this is means life's challenges like moving schools, houses, jobs etc not her hair colour

the ginger tease being acceptable makes my blood boil!!

Why the mother specifically and not father?

Go thru school, unless you know the mother v v well. Thinking, even then, go with school.

consider getting your daughter therapy to learn how to deal with challenging life problems
Err

FFS why would she need therapy?

To the OP - just go through the school and ask what steps they intend to take to reinforce expectations with all pupils.

FFS why would she need therapy?

I assumed it was to try and dealwiththefact that she is ”highly over sensitive”.

Which is separate from the hair colour bullying.

So people can’t be sensitive now?! They need therapy??

Personally I would tell the school and contact the parents (using the message the PP put, it’s perfect, not inflammatory and focuses on how your daughter feels rather than the horrid behaviour of the boy). I would probably also lay into the boy about one of his features next time I saw him, but what can I say, I’m sensitive! Probably should see someone about that.

So people can’t be sensitive now?! They need therapy??

The OP calls her “highly over sensitive” which implies excessive sensitivity.

It’s disgusting she’s bullied about her hair colour. Why people find this acceptable is beyond me.
Tell the school. She shouldn’t have to think people will ‘always tease her.’ We won’t accept it based on skin colour or religion so why should we accept this as teasing or banter? It infuriates me.

Don't contact the parent. It is happening in school let school deal with it. Far more effective as they can dish out punishments whereas parents possibly won't.

The school should have their bullying policy on their website and often in the child's planner so the child knows how to report bullying and how it is dealt with.

I hate this "teasing" word, he is being cruel.

I wouldn't rule out contacting the parents if going via the school doesn't work. Some parents are decent people who will try to be objective, and want to help their children grow up to be considerate human beings.