SAHM Finances

[hopeitgivesyouhell]

Hey
Not so much an AIBU but more a question
How much would your partner need to earn for you to be a SAHM and live comfortably with these outgoings??

Mortgage - £1000
Bills inc CT - £500
Travel - £450

I'm trying to work out if it's viable

Our joint income is in that region and our outgoings are roughly similar. We cope and have a holiday. Cornwall can be a very expensive place though. We don't manage to save much and we tend to have fairly low cost holidays. My main worry is our lack of savings.

Bear in mind a few things:

1. Are you planning to stay off until your youngest baby starts school? How many children do you plan to have and roughly what gaps? (I know these things can change!) When I return full time I will have been working part time for 12 years, that's a lot of years of your pension and savings you haven't paid into? Remember there willl be no mat pay next time.

1. Will you want to get a bigger house at some point and have bigger mortgage/bills?

3.what about the increase in food costs? This will increase gradually but it wil probably double if you have two or more kids. You will also spend more on clothing and school uniform isn't cheap.

Personally I would be a sahm if we could make it work but we couldn't. However I work 2 days a week and it really is fine as I still spend the vast majority of my time with my children.

So many things to think about, thank you all! I think it's doable but might be a bit tight - at the moment we've been saving a lot so not really spending our full income and we're not big drinkers or clubbers or anything!

It isn't really the alcohol and meals out for most people, it's like PPs said...do you intend to upsize, and have you accounted for how much your outgoings will increase with another growing person in the house?

we're currently in a 4 bed so big enough for two or three little ones!

It's not the going out it's the amount of money kids cost and you are going to have two in fairly quick succession.

A friend of mine who became a sahm after her first practised living on a fixed budget while she was on mat leave. The deal was if she managed it she would hand in her notice. Could you try something like that?

I would go back to work then get maternity for dc2 and stay at home afterwards.

Some good points above. I left because my wages didn't cover childcare for two (left after trying to have three in childcare and having to pay hundreds on top of my wage) and now we've four but I often wonder if I could have stick out the few years as obviously childcare costs decrease when they're all in school. I would say make sure to keep your skills relevant-I'll never find a job close to what I had and although sahm ing is amazing I look at my friends that are in two wage families and all the disposable income and savings they have and I do think our family wouldn't have to scrimp they way we do, skip things, do without things that other people take for granted etc. DH is on 50k (euro) and is amazing and works his ass off but I was on 35k and at some stage we'd have been in an excellent position. Things have moved on too much in the area I was in so ...

Sorry sounds very negative!!

You might be better to go back between dc1 and 2, depending on your maternity package, if you're good savers it will give you more of a cushion if you become a sahm after number two, especially if there's an unexpected household expense (boiler etc) .

I've been a SAHM for almost 5 years now and a few additonal expenses include (if you want to know!!)

• heating. I worked from home pre dc so thought my power bills wouldn't really go up much but babies need to be warmer than I ever did on my own.
• insurance. I had life insurance as part of my own business so had to get a different policy when I stopped working.
• entertainment. There's loads of free or very cheap stuff in my area but every now and then when it's pissing it down and both kids are cranky, you just want to go to soft play. Winter is more expensive than Summer with little ones.
• pre school. I realise it sounds odd to plan for his when you're going to SAH but both of mine went to pre school at 2 for a couple of mornings a week. Obviously we wouldn't have done it if money was short but my dd in particular really enjoys it.

I would say a disposable income of £2K. Don't forget you haven't included food, running a car (or 2 - or public transport), clothing for you & baby, nappies, not to mention a contingency fund for when something goes wrong with the house.

There is also the notion of them getting more expensive as they get older. The initial outlay for babies is a lot but their needs are very basic. You probably won't eat out much at this stage (too knackered and worried baby might scream) or go out much in the evenings (too knackered, breastfeeding, maybe).

And also, you need to look to the future a bit. Do you plan to go back to what you are doing in the future? In that case, would it be worth keeping your hand in? Is there an option for working part time? What you are earning is quite a healthy sum and, even with childcare costs, it would be worth working from a financial, long term career prospect.

However, money isn't everything. It is very stressful working and having small children and very hard to be everything to everyone and spread yourself so thin. You've got to look at your work/life balance and your sanity. When they are at school, you miss out on school stuff and potential support networks.

Personally, I couldn't have done it and mine are 14 and 9 now.

ETA, I do work but 20-30 hours and low skilled.

We couldn't live comfortably off 50,000, but I know many who live off that from 2 salaries... so I think only you can answer this question. You need to do the maths and work out what, from your spending from the past year was necessary and what you could give up.

We have hobbies, friends all over the country who we visit and have over at ours and love to travel abroad. You may naturally have much lower outgoings and be able to enjoy your free time together as a family on much less that you think.

Those outgoings represent approx £40k gross. (Each £10k = £500 net) You then need to 'live' on top of that, I'd say another £30k min... but even then it'd be tight and it depends on your other debts/loans

You haven’t had children yet? Then you will be in a shock how tight £50k is. Also depends on where you live. You may not compare with your neighbours but your children will. Babies are cheap. If you live in an area where families are on £85k, then expect multiple after school activities (ballet, gymnastics, drama, music lessons). Then they will tell you their friends went to Center Parcs, or skiing, or Christmas at Lapland. Or Disney at Florida. They all add up.

You live within your means, I think.

I had to fight to get my children to even do one activity - not interested. From what other parents tell me, this is very common. They don't have to be expensive, either. The school ones are usually v reasonable or sometimes even free. Things like Brownies and Cubs are dirt cheap and they include heavily subsidised activities and camps.

Yes, if you go for things like Stagecoach, it is costly, but there are many equivalents which are just as good or even better because you are not just paying for the name.

You don't have to do Florida or Centerparcs or skiiing. There are many cheaper alternatives which are fun. Nobody died because they didn't get to Florida. I went once when 17. Yes, it was good but it still doesn't go down as the best holiday of my life.

thebeesknees of course you don’t. You don’t even need to go to Cornwall.

I am just mentioning this because what is comfortable and normal depends on where you live. I live in a fairly middle class area, and not even the nice town close by. This is the norm amongst DC friends. Everyone also have nice bought costume for navitiy and dress up days. And there are all those collectibles they took to the school playground.

I know. There is a lot of peer pressure to have the latest things and it only gets worse when they are teenagers. I do let them have some of them but not all, otherwise, I could honestly spend a fortune and it is a good lesson for them that money doesn't grow on trees and they can't have everything they want. They won't in adulthood, after all, unless they become Richard Branson.

A lot of my children's peers, who really do have everything can be really spoilt, so we will have a conversation about that, too, and some look down on those who don't have a lot of things and have grown to be quite snobby. We have conversations about that, too.

It depends on how you look at things. I see it as a learning opportunity. The saddest thing I see are parents who really try to keep up and get into shed loads of debt. I don't think it is a good lesson for their children at all

I don't think it's even holidays or anything , it's (as well said above) things like when the heating breaks down if it was just you or you and dp you'd wear a coat but you have to get it fixed if you have kids. Ditto food and clothes. When they get older the things that add up are eg health stuff, the everyday things they need, hobbies ( my kids don't do any classes partly they don't ask but more that we can't afford), bikes, birthday parties (for them and others), and like somebody said when you just want to get them some form of a treat, a magazine or a trip to soft play, that sort of thing