How to control Xbox time with DS starting year 10

[Gettingthereslowly1]

DS is addicted to Xbox but has done very well to date at school and achieves high grades. He’s starting his 2 year GCSE course now though doing 11 GCSE’s and we need to restrict Xbox time after school as he will rush work (and everything else including meal times if we let him!) to get back on it with his friends. He’s clearly been rushing work up until now but has got away with it at school, however it’s clear he’ll need to make more effort this year. We don’t want to take it away entirely during the week at this stage as it’s still so early on the GCSE course (but can envisage having to do it nearer to the actual exams). I can see that the only way ahead is to allow the Xbox on a week night after I’ve actually seen the homework that’s been done but envisage that’s not going to be straightforward with other commitments, plus am sure I’ll be told that there wasn’t any homework!!! Does anyone else who has gone through years 10 and 11 have experience of this/can give advice? Setting a time limit isn’t straightforward (eg from 8-9pm) as some nights he’s not back from school until late due to clubs so ‘homework time’ will ideally need to go on a bit longer. Advice gratefully appreciated.

Can you turn off the WiFi/ change the password and only give him access once you're happy? It won't stop the machine working but would cut off the communication side of things?

That being said he's getting older now and needs to want to do well for himself. If he feels you're forcing him to work it dsnt matter how long he sits there- the work still won't be good enough

you could give him an amount of hours that he can use up throughout the week. eg: at the start of the week he is given 4 hours. he has to make that amount last throughout the week, and he cannot have any more than that. that way, he is limiting his time- but he also gets to choose when he uses his hours up,and so he may think more carefully about rushing on it as soon as he gets home. good luck!

You can set time limits rather than specific times to play via Xbox account. So, max two hours a night or whatever. It may disable chat functions though as it tends to lock down everything when you indicate the account holder is a child.

Watching with interest as in the same position with a DS going into Y10 (but PS4 in his case).

I am toying between setting a time limit (e.g. he can play after school until 6pm, but not after that) and asking him what he thinks about managing his time. It's tricky because one of the things he identified last year (his school run a 3 year KS4) is that he needs to do more revision as he goes along - so this isn't homework as such, but something he needs to be doing especially if he doesn't have much homework. I am ultimately of the mindset that he has to choose how much effort to put in - you can lead a horse to water and all that ...

Yes it’s so difficult isn’t it? The decision to make the effort definitely needs to come from him but it’s clear to us at this stage that he can’t resist the temptation to be online with his friends. Building up revising as he goes along is also going to a requirement of his school, but can see in his eyes it’s going to feel like unnecessary ‘voluntary’ work at this stage. Not easy when a lot of his friends seem to be allowed on it all the time.

My son has just entered year 11, he's a total ps4 addict.
Hes allowed an hour and a half in the evening to wind down after revision.
His school run revision and catch up lessons after school every day from 3.30 till 5 so he does all of those, diner as soon as home then another hour.
Then he gets his ps4 time. No revision from after the Fri revision session till sun evening then he does a couple of hours.
Hes accepted it pretty well, has been told if he doesnt stick to it I will cut the cut off his playstation

*plug

In this house on schooldays, PS4 is allowed until dinner then it's homework time. It means that he plays 2 hours max (as sometimes he'll watch YouTube or go out instead) and I think his homework is of a better quality at 6:30pm after dinner rather than straight after school as he's had a break and isn't allowed to go back on the PS4.

If things get too dire you can just turn take the wifi box and lock it in the boot of your car. That's what my mom did to me and my brother when we wouldn't get off our games console/computer.

If you need to stop him playing I would suggest removing a connecting cable as the easiest option - you can take it out with you then without having to fart about with changing the WiFi passcode or removing a potentially expensive to replace piece of kit.

why not just set a time at which he can play for a bit (perhaps an hour or so before his bed time).

it's unlikely he's going to be doing his best homework/revision at that time of the evening, so makes more sense than him gaming earlier?

Thank you all so much for taking the time to post - all really good suggestions. Particularly love the suggestion of removing a key cable from the Xbox as I often try locking the room the Xbox is in which hasn’t been successful - although DS often ‘cons’ me by persuading me to allow something to download whilst he gets on with other stuff and then before I know it he’s playing on it. Need to be tougher!
Haven’t mastered having eyes in the back of my head yet!!!
Another concern is whether any homework is actually being done when on the computer (which I’m told is vital!) or games are just being played/YouTube watched instead. Anyone mastered this???? Other than getting him to come and do homework at the kitchen table with his younger sister (which I’m sure he will refuse) then I can’t think of anything.
And do you remove phones until ‘downtime’???

You can set limits through your Microsoft account. On the XBox One you can set individual limits for each child - ours get an hour each per day. On the XBox 360 you can only set a time limit for the day, not specific to each account.

We have found setting limits really useful because after an hour the XBox just cuts off (I think they get a five minute warning.) Before we would ask the kids to stop and get told "they just need to reach a save point" and they would keep playing.