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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be scared for my DS after watching murder on our streets yesterday?

35 replies

ncforcommenting · 04/09/2018 10:50

I watched the documentary about the Brandon estate last night. My DS is mixed race, absent abusive father. We live in a lovely area in London but not far from where you often hear things happen. I feel like perhaps I should look at moving us away from London before he's 11/12 after watching. It's so sad these young people getting killed over postcodes

My DS is particularly strong willed and impulsive, in my eyes having been a youth worker previously he is tbh the typical child who would end up being led astray by older men and I'm quite anxious perhaps living in London because I like it isn't necessarily the right thing anymore.

It's in every city though isn't it? I mean I could move to somewhere in the country and face other issues like him driving dangerously on country roads when older

Those poor poor mothers Sad

OP posts:
furandchandeliers · 04/09/2018 15:27

It's not like that everywhere. It's like it in London Birmingham and Manchester specifically ( have lived in all those places) and in a smaller scale in most cities, but it's definitely not everywhere.

Belina · 04/09/2018 15:33

maybe Essex Colchester ect

Eliza9917 · 04/09/2018 16:19

Me and DP are both London born and bred, I'm from an area that despite once being a fairly nice place, now has (often multiple) daily stabbings & shootings. DP is from an area that can be rough depending on where you go. Even if we could live in naice London, there's no way on earth we'd bring our kids up there now.

If you can, I'd move.

Eliza9917 · 04/09/2018 16:19

PS we now live on the coast.

FaggotsandGreyPeas · 04/09/2018 16:54

I don't live in London but live on the very outskirts of another major city where across the road is fields and countryside. Inner city violence is quite common here but last night we had a shooting round the corner.

It sounds like you have some good opportunities where you are at the moment whilst DS is young but it also sounds like you have good support networks in other areas if you feel you want to move to a safer area so an interim solution might be having steps and finances in place if you decide to make that move.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 04/09/2018 23:43

I would move. We moved from London to Devon, partly to get away from the ever increasing violence around us, and partly because the ridiculously high cost of living meant we had no spare cash to actually have a life other than working and paying bills. We now live in an area where children play out, the crime rate is low, there is a community spirit that was never there in the area of London that we lived in. Our overheads are much lower giving us enough spare to go out more. We enjoy the outdoors life, go on walks and bike rides. Nice lunches at little country pubs.

I would not want to raise a child in London these days if I had an alternative choice.

Camomila · 05/09/2018 00:04

You wouldn't be the only one.

Toddler DS is mixed race and we've just moved out of London... in our group of friends/acquantaces all but one of us with mixed race/BME DSs have moved out in the toddler or preschool years (none of the famiies with girls have though!)

I'm sure it wasn't the main/only reason people moved, but I think it'll always be more of a worry in London than in a mid-sized town.

AjasLipstick · 05/09/2018 00:12

Chester and that area has grown more diverse in recent years and has some lovely schools.

Witchofwisteria · 05/09/2018 07:45

@Titsywoo I now actually live in a town on the outskirts of Eastbourne. The town centre is not the nicest in certain roads, however there is not a stabbing that I can really recall at all in the 5 years I've been here; I'd feel safe walking about.

I wouldn't want to live in the centre but because like most town centres, parking is terrible, gardens are concrete etc... when I was a student I lived 10 mins outside the town centre and never had any problems with any one.

BigGreenOlives · 05/09/2018 07:52

A friend of mine has moved out for similar reasons. Her son is about a year older than yours. She really likes having more space etc and not having to worry about her son hanging out with the tough kids but she found the head of the cofe infants school very disapproving of her single mother status. My friend works & doesn’t have any family to help & the head was v critical of her personal circumstances.

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