Keep snapping at my husband, feel like I need to just walk out

[SlimmingMumOf1]

Posting here for traffic as I really need to vent out and for people to just give me some advice. I don't know what's going on between my DH and I lately :( I find myself snapping at him all the time because every little thing he does annoys me. He recently got a new job, which resulted in me having to rush around trying to find childcare so it fit between his and my shift pattern. After stressful few weeks, it happened! Now he's got problems going on with his side of life and all he does is drown his sorrows and drinks alcohol. We have money problems as well at the moment which means we have to seriously watch what we are spending.

I get pissed off because he always talks shit when he drinks. As soon as he gets the bottle out, I just go straight to bed. He then has ago at me saying why am I ignoring him/not sitting with him and I said because when you drink, I am not interested in engaging a conversation with you. Every day he has been home, we've had arguments because I am tired, cranky and miserable. There's no communication between us, there's just nothing there.. because for once in his life, he can't just leave the drink so we can have a nice quiet sober evening! He'd rather relax by drinking and watching YouTube videos.

Tonight he said he is going to the shop to get some drinks but cheap ones as we're trying to save money, and I basically told him do you know what? I couldn't care less whether you drinks or not, I am past caring now so you can do WETF you wants with your life and I'm just going to focus on my side of my life. He took it very personally and said I'm horrible and that I don't care about him. I said why should I care.. really? It's your lifestyle choice that you made. You are choosing to deal with your issues by drinking, I am not being held accountable for your actions. Do what you want!

I have literally had enough of him. I don't know anymore. I do love him, but I don't feel like I'm in love with him... whether this is just a rocky patch we're going through. I'm tired, stressed, I look after my DS who is 2, but I don't ever hit the bottle or drown my sorrows because nothing ever gets sorted out that way does it!

@SpringSnow
Is that just a cranky snippy post or are you reading something we’re not.

Op sounds like a bit of a nightmare and a bit controlling imho

I would be really upset if my partner spoke to me like that.

I know you've got problems - the childcare thing would really annoy me, as would him spending all the family money on booze. But why don't you go and sit with him and chat to him? You might find he drinks less if you were both having a more friendly relationship.

I don't know what's going on between my DH and I lately sad I find myself snapping at him all the time because every little thing he does annoys me.

I don't blame him for hitting the ale, sounds emotionally abusive to me.

Excess alcohol would annoy me too. I'm not suprised you told him to do what he wants with his life.

SpringSnow You don't happen to be OP's husband, it's the only explanation for you being so negative.

You don't happen to be OP's husband, it's the only explanation for you being so negative.

Oh, it's one of these threads where everyone has to be "supportive" - i.e. Agree with op.

Does he usually turn to alcohol when he gets stressed? Or is this a new thing? It sounds like he's checking out from family life and using alcohol to do it. Would he be willing to have an honest chat with you about it? It would mean you both making a bit of effort.

Are other pp’s on another planet?

So I is shouldering the burden of childcare supporting her dp, whilst he is a self indulgent melancholy knob who sounds like he has an alcohol problem.
I’d not want to sit with an alcoholic who spouted shit either.
Op it does sound like you also might be a touch depressed I say that because you have some symptoms like short temper, tiredness etc maybe go to the gp see what they can offer

You need to be in this together or not at all. He is clearly struggling.
I have MH issues and have self mediated with alcohol in the past. I needed support at that time but had no one.
Only you know the answer for you. I wish you both well

*op is

You are tired, you work, have a toddler & money problems.

Your DH spends money you havnt got on drink & sits and watches you tube videos, rather than talk to you.

He sounds like Kevin the teenager.

I know I would rather be a single parent than live with that.

YANBU.

It is not possible to "drive someone to drink". Unless OP is simultaneously holding him down to pour the drink down his throat it has nothing to do with her.

The early responders are the most ridiculous trolling attempt I have ever seen on MN.

Never understand why it is mum's job to find childcare when the dad changes his hours. Why is it always our job? Aren't children the responsibility of both parents?

I would get this moved to relationships OP.