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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

That it will take eight weeks for them to see me for pnd

41 replies

Spanglyprincess1 · 03/09/2018 19:37

Yep eight weeks before I can access mental health support (non drugs) for possible pnd, namely CBT.

Background: I went to doctor on advice on HV. Was feeling posative that I was taking things in hand and sorting myself. I have no idea how I'll cope for another eight weeks (bbay is only nine weeks old!).

Is this a normal amount of time? I was expecting a wait of a couple of weeks but not eight

OP posts:

WinterRainbow · 04/09/2018 10:49

It’s awful that mental health on te nhs is so bad. It needs to be much better funded for exactly this reason!

LuvSmallDogs · 04/09/2018 10:54

Not NHS, but where I live access to counselling/MH care is patchy as hell - when I was really bad with PND/anxiety I went to GP, was referred and by the time I got an appt I was too scared to go as “they’ll take my baby” and I was a borderline shut-in. I was convinced people could tell I was a shit parent just by looking at me and thought strangers would want to call SS if my baby cried at all.

A lot of people with MH issues need to be got at quickly before they enter a patch of “good days” and tell themselves they’re ok or deteriorate and stop answering phone calls/opening letters/leaving the house etc.

Our MH services are so “great” that someone else I know tried to kill themselves (noose broke) and had continuing suicidal thoughts so their GP referred them to the emergency MH team...who never got in touch.

Pigsears · 04/09/2018 10:58

Have you considered going private? Maybe then after the 8 week wait is over you can transfer to the NHS?

MrsMaryMooFace · 04/09/2018 11:05

There is a,lot of private support available. I know not everyone can afford to pay £40-£80 for a counselling session, but a lot people could if they cut back somewhere else. We aren't used to paying for healthcare in the UK so people often just think oh I can't afford it, but aren't willing to make sacrifices to pay for their mental health!
(I am a just above the living wage earner and I funded my private therapy by cutting back and going without stuff for a few months)

Again I'm not saying everyone can do this, but it's something to think about.

Hideandgo · 04/09/2018 11:17

I know some people are literally on the bones of their arse money wise but many are actually able to afford this critical care they need but choose to complain about the NHS instead and sit and do nothing. Not necessarily the OP, I’ve no idea what her financial situation is.

People in the UK are very spoilt with regards healthcare. And many would never even think of putting their hands in their pockets for something they really need like MH counselling. Though will instantly replace their high end phone. It’s a mindset with many people. In the ROI only the poorest get their healthcare paid for, everyone else budgets for it.

NoWittyNamesAvailable · 04/09/2018 11:18

My dad waited almost 3 years for CBT for PTSD. 8 weeks, when you are suffering seems a huge amount of time, but in the terms of waiting lists it isn't. Do you have help around you?

Hideandgo · 04/09/2018 11:20

Nowitty, did you consider private at all rather than waiting 3 yrs? Just curious as I know it doesn’t even cross most people’s minds. But not being able to pull together a few hundred quid amongst family for important help over 3 yrs seems unlikely.

Lancelottie · 04/09/2018 11:23

Another one popping in to say that it's very normal and indeed on the rapid side, but meanwhile, can we talk to you instead? 12 million or so parents can offer you a whole lot of sympathy in time of need.

I'm not surprised that 8 weeks sounds like forever (it pretty much is, in terms of your baby's lifetime), but it will pass.

Sleep deprivation, birth trauma and sudden reorganization of your whole life all seem to contribute. Have you anyone around to give you a break and make tea etc?

JellyBaby666 · 04/09/2018 11:25

Hugs OP.

FWIW I found CBT a crock of shite. I know it helps some, but I found half an hour every week of being told to (basically) think happier and plan nice activities did jack all to help me emotionally. It didn't get to the root of my anxiety/depression, and the activities were a waste of time, FOR ME. I emphasize again, for ME. The reason I'm saying this is if you want someone to talk to, understand & help you process whats going on, CBT ain't that. I paid to go privately, which I know not everyone can afford, but it saved my life.

There are charities and schemes to help people access therapy quicker, and pay what they can afford. I would suggest looking for discount therapy in your local area and paying privately. You are worth spending the cash on.

Polarbearflavour · 04/09/2018 11:26

Considering one in four people have less than £100 in savings, I’m not surprised paying for private health is beyond most people!

We pay into the NHS via tax yet have to wait years for an appointment?

Bombardier25966 · 04/09/2018 11:29

People in the UK are very spoilt with regards healthcare.

You wouldn't say that if you have chronic mental health problems.

(And no, i don't have £60 a week for the eighteen months+ psychotherapy I need. Just because you can afford it, it doesn't mean others can.)

LeighaJ · 04/09/2018 11:30

I think you're really lucky to only wait 8 weeks. The wait is so long here that we're going to have to pay a couple hundred pounds a month that we don't really have for private therapy. It actually took about 3 weeks for an appropriate therapist to be found for me privately as well and I won't start til the end of this month.

I have a long history of mental health problems and issues that can't be medicated away and was under psychiatric care my entire pregnancy, so it's nothing the NHS wasn't aware of.

MrsMaryMooFace · 04/09/2018 11:31

Also agree that CBT isn't for everyone, and often a counsellor/psychotherapist is more suitable. There are directories on the internet listing local therapists, always make sure that they are registered with a suitable governing body such as UKCP or BACP

Original poster

Spanglyprincess1 · 04/09/2018 11:44

Thanks everyone. I had CBT around six or seven years ago and it helped masivly. But my coping mechanisms can't work with a young baby , I've tried and I recognise my triggers.
I in no way want to get as bad as I used to be when I now am with a baby, I don't want to hurt myself or , I don't think I would, but it scares me.
I need structure, normally exercise, routine and other activities which focus me when I feel down. I have a velcro one who is a bad sleeper so I am struggling.

OP posts:

palindromeam · 04/09/2018 11:46

Where are you based? There are some areas that have really good support groups that might help you. It isn't universal but where they are they can be accessed usually fairly quickly.

Lancelottie · 04/09/2018 12:02

Yes, it can be so hard to keep a routine with a tiny Velcro baby. Is this your only child? I found it easier to cope with the second, in some ways. The older one needed getting out of the house to playgroup/preschool, so I didn't beat myself up if the new baby's needs took second place some of the time, whereas the slightest wail or whiff from the oldest would have had me on high alert.

Automatic routine and exercise and (somewhat hazy) interaction with other adults all helped.

(It's entirely normal to consider leaving your child out with the milk bottles and a sign saying '£10 to good home'. The problem only comes when you genuinely start looking for a box and the Sharpies.)

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