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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Golliwogs...

544 replies

GoodNewsTwo · 03/09/2018 17:44

A colleague of mine today put a small golliwog figurine on her desk. Said she's always liked them and that she doesn't see an issue. I explained that some people (myself included) find them offensive and dated, and think they are too controversial for a workplace setting. As a black woman, I don't really like to sit and look at it all day. I'm sure many people wouldn't regardless of their ethnicity/race. AIBU to ask her again to remove it? I don't want to be 'that girl' who has an issue with race (I don't) - on this occasion, I just feel extremely uncomfortable.

wwyd?

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 03/09/2018 19:02

Asking about the appropriateness of a golliwog however results in 'oh not this again' as if it isn't a real issue. It is distressing that there are folks on here who would rather shut a woman down and tell her she shouldn't have commented because it's been asked before, than to have a little sympathy.

But all of those scenarios you’ve listed above are pretty individual to the situation. Ie “line eyes please” has to be a new post as they’re asking for an objective view about something new, albeit a repeat topic.

People have a hard time with these threads because 1. Obviously it’s not ok to have golliwogs and no one really believes anyone other than a massive racist has one and 2. Based on point 1 many people don’t believe that it’s even possible that someone would own one, let alone have it on their desk at work.

There seem to be a high proportion of MN posters who know someone who proudly display these dolls; much higher than in real life.

That’s why there’s a bit of a sigh and “this again”. Because how could anyone at all think it’s ok?

tierraJ · 03/09/2018 19:03

Some of the kindest nicest seeming colleagues can have unpalatable views on race & politics - I've discovered this on Facebook sadly with quite a few colleagues.

In fact I got defriended by 2 colleagues because my anti fascist views directly opposed their fascist racist views. I had been going to block them anyway but had felt uncomfortable as they are colleagues.

Yet strangely they are still nice to me in real life & haven't mentioned Facebook once!!

Carrrotsandcauliflower · 03/09/2018 19:09

It’s weird and offensive. She should remove it-I would speak to your manager. I wouldn’t knock it off her desk- she sounds like an oddball who would just probably pick another one from her strange collection and pop that in it’s place! What a wierdo.

Starfish28 · 03/09/2018 19:13

@GoodNewsTwo I’ve walked down a high street in Northumberland and seen golliwogs in the window of shops. They are sadly still present in our society. I strongly urge you to challenge this. Good luck.

DunkandEggAgain · 03/09/2018 19:15

Erm, why have my posts been deleted? In the context of this thread, it's extreamly relevant. Confused

Benjaminbuttonschild · 03/09/2018 19:22

I'm sorry you're having a hard time OP. If you like this woman and she is nice to you, maybe have a quiet word her and tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable. If she still doesn't remove it, I'd report her to your manager or HR department.

Shame on the posters thinking OP has made this up Angry

franchesco · 03/09/2018 19:25

I don't think you're a troll OP.

Please report to your management when you can

Lilimoon · 03/09/2018 19:30

I believe you OP. I hope you are ok.

JayDot500 · 03/09/2018 19:34

OP, black and sorry you've had to go through this plus MN trying to shut down your very individual concerns.

The problem is that people just like you MN lot (white women) put these stupid dolls out. So, black people like the OP (and I) don't often know the best way to handle the the situation; the colleague is usually a nice enough woman and we estimate that they should have known better. Our fears: a 'quiet word' could turn ugly and then the situation could turn itself around and we are then bad guy. I don't know about the OP, but where I work, the black woman is so easily the bad guy. It happens so often to black women in the workplace. If you're white, then the majority of the workplace are just like you, so you don't have to worry about these trivial things.

JayDot500 · 03/09/2018 19:35

I'm black*

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/09/2018 19:37

Ah it’s the 10,546,876th golly thread

Now to play ‘typical post’ bingo Grin

Original poster
GoodNewsTwo · 03/09/2018 19:38

@JayDot500 thank you. Gosh I needed to read that. That's exactly how I feel. The reaction from mn has really bothered me. I'm a bit lost for words though I feel I should be used to this by now.

OP posts:
1HitWonder · 03/09/2018 19:39

I usually get fed up with people being offended by stuff, and if this was out of the workplace (say her own home) then I would probably have a different opinion. But in a workplace I don't think it's appropriate at all and I would ask her to remove it next time you see her.

Also, I don't understand why you are getting so much grief on here, these dolls stopped production because of the racism attributed to them, so you're clearly not the only one who feels offended by them.

YANBU

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/09/2018 19:40

OP if this is genuine I apologise

We have had so many on this topic

Of course it’s facist
Report her racist arse
Some fucking idiot in
My office bought in similar

Ucantarguewistupid · 03/09/2018 19:41

I had hot weetabix this morning. It was nice. Had current and bananas on it and wild flower honey.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/09/2018 19:42

The reaction from mn has really bothered me. I'm a bit lost for words though I feel I should be used to this by now

It’s not a lack of love or caring OP . There seems to be a Golly thread every few months and it always kicks off

Not because people like them but there is always some fucker who defends them

Sorry Sad

Original poster
GoodNewsTwo · 03/09/2018 19:42

@Ucantarguewistupid the fact you clearly think it's funny to leave a post like that on a thread about racism says a lot don't you think.

Fuck sake.

OP posts:
UsedtobeFeckless · 03/09/2018 19:43

I'm the buyer for a heritage type gift shop and we used to stock gollies - when l took over l binned the lot but we still get asked occasionally - there's a sort of fake innocence about people's attitude to them. They know they are offensive but they can pretend it's just a toy so it somehow doesn't count as racist ...

KimKatCourtney · 03/09/2018 19:43

It’s offensive, it’s racist and she should remove it.
As an aside, I really can’t understand why a grown up would have a doll at work

cabingirl · 03/09/2018 19:43

I had a Golliwog doll as a child - I called him Golly - I didn't know he was supposed to be a person - I thought he was a made-up creature like my other toys which weren't actually 'lifelike' people such as Barbie etc. I loved him. And I loved the little badges that came from collecting the jam labels.

I can't remember when I was told or found out the truth behind the doll (as an adult though, long after giving up playing with dolls) but as soon as I knew then it was clearly unacceptable to hold on to that previous image and fondness. It is an offensive caricature - designed to demean people of colour and was part of a time in history where a lot of shameful things like this were considered 'normal'.

It's absolutely not okay for your colleague to have this on her desk - I really hope it's not something she did deliberately to target you, but either way your manager or HR should definitely deal with it.

Original poster
GoodNewsTwo · 03/09/2018 19:44

@stopfuckingshoutingatme I haven't been on mn for that long and this was something specific which happened to me. Something my colleague did and I genuinely needed opinions. I wasn't just asking 'what do we all think of golliwogs then?' otherwise I would've understood the reaction. Suddenly I can't talk about something that's real, hurtful, and happened to me because people talk about it a lot?

Maybe the fact that it's raised so often means that there SHOULD be serious conversation about it as there are clearly a lot of opinions - strong ones - floating about.

OP posts:
CrabbyPatty · 03/09/2018 19:45

OP - my advice is to raise this with management rather than tackle this yourself. Its not your job to explain why its offensive. It is hard to believe anyone would think this is ok.
I go on Mumsnet generally because I don't have many friends with kids and have experienced pregnancy loss, but my word I'm learning ignorance is in abundance here! I literally can't imagine what some posters are like in real life because my friends would all know why a golliwog is unacceptable.

CowesTwo · 03/09/2018 19:45

You are definitely not being unreasonable. That doll has no place in a work situation; it's offensive, it's racist, it's demeaning, and the fact that her colleague is a black woman shows that the doll owner is either a) oblivious or b) fully aware of what she is doing. And I find it shocking that someone in 2018 thinks it's ok to display this item.

CowesTwo · 03/09/2018 19:46

I mean oblivious to its connotations.

JayDot500 · 03/09/2018 19:47

I was as shocked as you. The point you made about the many duplicated thread types was right on point, but for some of these women Golliwog's aren't individual enough... even though it's you who has to sit there looking at it and wondering about the psychology of the person it belongs to. I didn't believe the term 'feminism is for white women' until I came here.