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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Privacy

5 replies

Blackbirdblue30 · 03/09/2018 11:51

I've had to stay with my parents for a few months this summer owing to a break up and having to wait for a new job. Hopefully only another month to go. I haven't lived with them since I was 18 (am now 34) so understandably it's been a difficult ride from time to time.
What is driving me mad is my mother's militant refusal to respect any of my privacy. This drove me mad as a teenager as well. She just won't knock on a bedroom/bathroom door, she flings it open and walks in. I have asked, explained and insisted and the response I get is an angry 'it's my house, I'll go where I want.' I think she does it on purpose too for usually she's quite loud on her feet and you can hear her coming, seemingly unless she deliberately creeps up the stairs to my bedroom to fling the door open suddenly.
The house has very little respite from the constant tv blaring (starting to wonder if I have sensory issues as the noise bothers me so much) and I need to be in peace sometimes and left alone. I feel like if I do anything remotely private, like go to the loo, try to take a phone call, get changed etc she's creeping up to be outside the door. (The bathroom didn't lock when we were teenagers because 'we're a family' 😡. It does now, but she'll rattle at the door). I'm not remotely ungrateful for the port in a storm but I think my mother's controlling and domineering behaviour is unnecessary and rage-inducing, and also really weird. Aibu?

OP posts:
Septembermummy1 · 03/09/2018 11:54

She sounds controlling. Can't you move out sooner or is that not an option?

Aprilshowersinaugust · 03/09/2018 11:55

Buy a rubber door stop and put it under when you are in your room!!

Blackbirdblue30 · 03/09/2018 12:04

Thought of the doorstop but it's the principle of the thing that's at heart. The latest I should be leaving to go home is mid October. If I make it to then without committing murder.

OP posts:
Aprilshowersnowastorm · 03/09/2018 12:08

Try it though - she will shove and likely smack herself in the face! Might teach her!!
Remember to stifle your laugh.

Ellen7262 · 03/09/2018 13:07

Definitely not being unreasonable! Just see if you can have a chat with her about her behaviour (if it wouldn't make things worse) if it would make things worse just grin and bare it until you can move out.

I moved back in with my parents and it was like being a teenager again, but when I spoke to my parents about it they did understand and they respected my space more! It's worth a chat if it won't increase tension.

Doorstop is defo a good option too!

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