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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Anyone else had a night out destroyed by lo

16 replies

LadyOdd · 03/09/2018 00:52

First night out in over a year, second attempt at doing it cancelled two days ago as I was tired so went out tonight been out for not even two hours and pfb 1 year old has thrown a complete fit not sure if it’s teething or what but even though I’m not drinking it was so nice being out without her for once. I’m still bf but when I’m at home she’s useually fast asleep.

AIBU to be disappointed? I love her but just a couple of hours would have been nice. Anyone else having or had their evening cut short by thier lo recently?

OP posts:

Joboy · 03/09/2018 00:55

It depends on your babysiter. If they can cope you go out . If they cant cope you can't.
In my babysitting career I have never called the mum back I have msg if kids are throwing up. I have cancel for up kids .
You need to trust your babysitter to cope .

H1dingInSight · 03/09/2018 00:55

Who is looking after her at home? I’d expect that person to cope for a couple of hours TBH.

Original poster

LadyOdd · 03/09/2018 01:01

Her father lol I live abroad so it is later here, my lo doesn’t go back to sleep without me although on hindsight I should have seen how it went. Dd is my pfb so still muddling through.

OP posts:

Original poster

LadyOdd · 03/09/2018 01:02

This is the first time I’ve gone out in the night she was fine for four hours during the day the other day.

OP posts:

Original poster

LadyOdd · 03/09/2018 01:02

My plan as the bar was across the road was to pop back and settle her and go out again.

OP posts:

TroubledLichen · 03/09/2018 01:05

I’d expect her father to be able to cope to be honest... Sorry that your night was cut short though, better luck next time.

rainbowsandsmiles · 03/09/2018 01:12

If it's your husband/DH at home then he needs to be there for your lo one when you go out. You would for him presumably, so what's the difference?
You'd look after your daughter, just like he would.
You're just as important and equal. Both parents.

Original poster

LadyOdd · 03/09/2018 01:13

Not very funny thing is she only started screaming the house down when I arrived I thought t would be a quick bf and back to sleep.

OP posts:

Original poster

LadyOdd · 03/09/2018 01:15

She’s never fallen alp without me, he was working abroad for half her life so she’s never had anyone but me put her to sleep. Think I need him to get into the routine with me.

OP posts:

AjasLipstick · 03/09/2018 01:18

If he's now at home full time, then he needs to take on bedtime so that you get a rest. My DH worked abroad for 6 months and when he came home it was hard to let him into our routine but once I did, it was so much better.

He ended up doing younger DD's bedtime every night and older DD more or less settled herself so I was happy!

HoppingPavlova · 03/09/2018 01:23

He needs to be able to settle her and you need to be able to leave them to it. What happens if you took ill or were in an accident and had to be in hospital? It happens.

Unbelievably there are some men who actually do rock up to a hospital with little ones in tow to get mum (who is sick thus in hospital) to help. While I would be mortified that my DH was so useless some women actually do take delight in the fact they have made themselves 'indispensable', don't be one of those!

Original poster

LadyOdd · 03/09/2018 01:33

Did you bf? How did he settle her? Lo has always been very attach usually at the nipple, I’ve never used a dummy.

OP posts:

DelilahandDaisy · 03/09/2018 01:36

Try a dummy?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 03/09/2018 01:44

She’s 1 I wouldnt be starting using a dummy now.
Personally I would be letting dad just get on with it and not coming back and disrupting the situation.
Leave expressed milk for her and have a bit of confidence in dad.

Any way in answer to your actual question, I’ve had plenty of nights out missed because my childcare fell through or because someone was unwell but never been called back because the childcare can’t cope and all of mine have been breast fed usually for long enough that most people consider it very extended (around age 4) never used a dummy or anything like that.

Original poster

LadyOdd · 03/09/2018 02:12

I think I can be a bit precious as they don’t me I couldn’t have children and she happened and we won’t be having anymore. I’m off to sleep now but thanks for some of the advice guys, I’ll try x
Expressing again I could only do it by hand after many attempts at equipment and gave up due to numbness that I was getting in my fingers.(leftover pregnancy issue)

OP posts:

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 03/09/2018 02:46

I breastfed my of to sleep for 2 years which although wonderful, made it very difficult to go out. She refused bottles and wouldnt settle for her daddy even though he did her routine exactly the same (just minus boobs). Funnily enough though, a couple of times eg husband's christmas party and a wedding, we left her with PIL. Something about being in a completely different environment and not sticking to routine seemed to work better as they said she rarely got upset, took a cup of milk and was able to be rocked to sleep.

Perhaps your husband needs to find his own system for when youre not there - and the only way is for him to try again.

That said, I found it much easier and more pleasant to instead go out with friends during the day for brunch/lunch etc as I knew baby and husband would cope better which meant i relaxed more. It feels like a long time without going out, but believe me these years will be over quickly. My LO is now 3.5 (also have a 16 month old) and I cant believe how much more independent she is already.

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