Is this harassment? Posted in relationships too

[Queenofthestress]

I need some advice and I'm not sure what to do
I split up with my ex partner last may 2017, since then he's had supervised contact due to his alcohol and drug issues. During this time his mother has repeatedly either made comments about my parenting, or accused me of keeping my daughter from contact to my sister in law. Even when my sister in law tells his mother to talk to me about it she refuses and keeps messaging my sister. She's already had one warning from the police about harassing me. I suspect she's also called social services on me in January. She is refusing to leave my sister in law alone. I don't know what to do next.

My ex-dp also wants unsupervised contact, and is apparently making the steps to attend counselling and such for his alcohol issues, after he repeatedly rang my sister in law drunk & high on drugs at 5am asking to see the kids. He's high functioning aspergers. Would it be unreasonable to ask for proof he's been attending his counselling before I even think of giving him unsupervised contact & can I take him to court for a CAO or do I need to wait for him to take me to court to do so?

Who is the Mil messaging? Your sister or your sister in law?
Why doesn't she block Mil?
I would tell ex partner to go to court for unsupervised access. The court will order him to be assessed by social workers etc.

I realised after that'd I'd missed the in law bit out, she's messaging my sister in law, every time SIL has replied she's said to contact me to both and they're refusing. I've told them to block and delete them both off social media/text.
I feel awful telling him to take me to court, he's trying apparently (all come from his mum as he refuses to have direct contact with me)

A formal contact order is in his best interests too, it means he has a regular agreement and knows when and how he can expect to see DC, it also gives him the chance he wants to prove he is in recovery. YANBU.

It is definitely in his and DD's best interest so I'm looking into it, as I can't decide between a consent order which is still legal or a CAO, can I do it or do I need to let him take me as there's no way he can afford it (he's on ESA for depression and anxiety) but I should be able to if I'm careful

I agree with pp, it is in everyone's best interests that the court sets the contact.
Can you write him a letter saying that you are aware of the efforts he is making and want to do all you can to reach a good arrangement that is right for everyone and you think it is best to do things in a formal way so everyone knows where they stand.
That way you don't have to worry that his mother is not telling him accurately what he has said?
If your Sil doesn't block their contact then she can't keep complaining to you.
Good luck and I hope things get better

Either party can apply for a CAO, but I am not sure what you want if YOU applied? I think it is quite reasonable to ask for evidence that he is having counselling, and that he is sober before agreeing to unsupervised contact.
In terms of harassment, no I don't think it can be classed as harassment of you if it is being passed via a third party (sister in law). You need to ask your SIL not to pass on any messages from MIL. I would imagine it is the responsibility of your SIL.

It sounds very confusing. I would stop contact with them all and see what the courts say.

I've spoken to the nspcc worker involved (verbal abuse was present so I have to do the NSPCC self care course) when she came round today, she said court is in best interests if he wants unsupervised. She's quite happy to come with me & speak to the caffcass worker when it comes to that so thank you everyone, you were right on the ball.

There's just something about his mum that gets my back up, she's already made comments before that she wants DD permanently so half the time I just don't see sense about her when she's involved.