No money no love 😬

[Kaka89]

Money worry’s are causing to much stress between me and my partner 😢 we are now talking about splitting up 💔 due to the grief it’s causing 😭
We have been together since high school we have 4 children he works full time I work part time, roughly 35k a year now we have took a massive hit this year due to his change in employment and me going down to just 16hours. Weekly after all the bills are paid and food shop and it’s basic stuff nothing spectacular we have around £30 left. Rents 130pw council tax 34pw credit cards are 74pw fuel for 2 cars £40pw insurance and road tax all ready paid off food shop including cleaning stuff and nappies etc 300pw gas 20pw electric 20pw internet tv mobiles 100pm
Anyone have any ideas on how to manage money better? My partner and I have never struggled before we always had plenty of money left for taking the kids out buying new clothes or a toy when they needed now we can’t it’s causing so much conflict between us I need extra fingers and toes to count how many arguments we have had this past week even arguments over being able to afford fresh rolls 🤦‍♀️ It’s getting so petty now. We have never argued over anything never fell out never felt angry with each other it’s eating us both up. We lived comfortably for so long nothing over the top we have no need for everything fancy and expensive not that kind of people we just loved being able to treat our kids even if it was going out to play park picking up a chippy and sitting on a park bench having a laugh the occasion someone getting covered in tomato sauce 😊.. I’m scared money is gonna destroy my family don’t know where to go for help just getting by is an awful thing I have no idea how people manage on a low income I’ve tried to keep cost down but 6 people to feed wash keep warm and roof over our heads isn’t cheap.
Thank you all for your time
Any advice is really appreciated
🙂

I assume you mean 30pw on food and cleaning supplies not 300? 100pm is a lot of money to be spending on things like internet and phone when things are so tight.
Do you both have long commutes for work as that's a lot of fuel when you're working less? Also can you increase your hours at work..?

So £300 per month on credit card payments? Is the reason you were able to afford a lot of 'extras' in the past because you were living beyond your means on a day to day basis or or is your big credit card debt as a result of a big ticket item, e.g. a holiday or a car?

Could you get rid of one car?

Did you mean to say £300 on food per week?!

Most of your expenses seem reasonable and an okay price. Obviously you can't really reduce payments on rent, council tax or credit card repayments.
But £300 per week seems massive, even with nappies and 6 people in the house. I'd say this would be your biggest area to cut costs.

There's me, DH, DS 13mo, a dog and 2 cats in my household and I only spend £50 a week on food, nappies, wipes, cat litter, drinks, etc.

Is £300 per week for food a typo? If not, I'd say there are major savings to be made there, that seems a lot even for a family of 6. Also the credit card payments are pretty high - could you negotiate a lower payment with the provider?

Well firstly your credit card debt is very high... were you using credit to subsidise your income?
£300pw on food or per month?!

£30 per week purely on luxuries is very manageable IMO. I know people who have that to spend on food per week and manage.
Kids don't need ridiculous amounts spent on them and there are lots of free things you can do depending on where you live also.
Spending £1200 a month on food is ridiculously high - if this wasn't a typo, this can be reduced by shopping at supermarkets like Aldi if you don't already for food and cleaning products (you can get really good stuff there too now!), all eating the same meals, meal planning etc. There's always MN threads about it and Facebook groups too, just have a Google.
Mobile phone bills - so high! You can get a decent phone on a £20 PM contract.
Credit card payments can be renegotiated depending how much you owe.
Good luck

Our groceries for a family of 5, a dog, a cat and 6 chickens cost about £70 per week. I can get it down to £40 per week if I really need to, but it's very basic and uses up a lot of tinned and frozen food I have bought previously. £300 can't be right, did you mean £300 per month?

Don't get the newest phone when yours is due for renewal, get a pay monthly sim for £10 per month each and save yourself £80. Treating the kids doesn't always have to be expensive. I'm sure your kids would rather you spent some time clearing your credit cards (with that spare £30 per week) and stayed together, rather than constantly buying them things and breaking up due to financial pressure.

300pw on a food shop even with cleaning stuff is absurd. My Christmas week shop with Turkey, booze and treats for the week plus catering for 7 doesn't even come to that! You MUST mean £300 a month?

If not - go to Aldi and buy all their non branded stuff, try and do 3/7 dinners in the week without meat.

Why don't you also look into getting a little cleaning job or something if you genuinely cannot cut back?

£300 per week ?? Must b a mistake.

100 for internet and phone is a lot.
10 £ per month buys unlimited texts and minutes and 8 gb of data

Food shop at £300 a week is massively high as is £100 on internet/tv/phone.

If you could earn more working full time than your DP, could he go part-time and do childcare?

Could you survive with only one car? That would chop your costs down a lot o tax/insurance/petrol/servicing etc.

Move this to the credit crunch thread as you'll get lots of helpful replies. If you do repost the thread, could you put paragraphs in to make it easier to read, please? Thanks

I'd start by reducing the following:

• Switch to a cheaper supermarket

• switch to own brand products or one brand lower than what you usually buy

• check your cupboards & fridges, make a meal plan from the contents and just buy missing ingredients and fresh/diary produce.

• make packed lunches for school/work & days out & cut out eating out altogether

• switch all utilities to cheaper deals. Check money saving expert

• write down all expenses for a month to see exactly where your money is going

• switch to a zero interest credit card & cut the card to stop making any new purchases. Concentrate on reducing the balance.

You can halve that food shopping easily. A friend of mine spends similar and buys a lot of branded things and things out of habit that you really don't need but will say "the kids will only eat....." (Dairylea dunkers, peperami etc)

The kids will eat what they are given. Maybe try cutting your meat down and cooking one big meal you can all eat or batch cooking. Keep your receipts and have a look at what is costing you most.

The internet and phone bill is ridiculously high too. Cancel any packages and then just use a firestick or Netflix.

Good luck

Thank you everyone for your advice 😊.. 300 per week shopping bill is right my partner was a bodybuilder 2 years ago but he’s kept to his eating and fitness habits so meats alone cost 70 for the week from my usual butcher went shopping around and found one that does all the same stuff for 32 😁.. my kids aren’t fussy there favourite beans have always been Asda’s smart price they seem to prefer the cheaper foods with saying that one of my munchkins has a special diet due to allergy’s no milk eggs soya wheat the list goes on so obviously I buy alternatives for her but good news I went to Aldi has someone who worked there help out and they were fab I got a full week shopping including nappies washing stuff and loads of extras for kids to try for 114.93 I couldn’t believe it and the stuff is actually okay wasn’t sure but me my partner and 3 of my kids have phone so I think phone cost is actually really cheap for keeping 5 phones so that won’t change (my kids have pay as you go phone that cost £30 each from Asda) they are there for safety reason when out and about can always contact home.. I have spoke with credit card company and never checked this before but my last payment is next month so looks like me and my partner are out of the woods happy and loved up again not worrying.. thank you all again

You definitely need to change utility providers. Go to mse and sign up to the energy club. They will send you an email every time there is a cheaper deal.

£70 a week for meat? Crikey!

£300 a week on food is crazy. We have 4 kids including 3 huge teenage boys and don't spend that much - maybe around £150 and that includes a lot of chicken etc.

If I were you OP I’d be concerned about the fragility in your relationship this tough time has exposed, even if it is coming to an end (for now). Life will throw you curve balls. Being in s partnership should mean you have backup for these bad times. Imagine if you became long term ill, had to give up work completely. Or he did. Do you think the two of you would support each other unconditionally, face the challenge shoulder to shoulder? Because it doesn’t sound like it from what you’ve said here...

£300 a week even for 6 people is nuts. Your partner can’t afford the luxury of eating like that by the sound of it.

And yes, if your OH is happy to spend £70 a week on meat just for himself because he wants it, when the family is struggling to make ends (hah) meet, he is a dimlow.

You are being ridiculous. Of course you can cut costs, you just don't want to. My DS has a SIM only contract, decent data, minutes and texts - £5 a month. Your food bill is extortionate. When money is tight you can't spend £70 a week on meat then moan you are skint. Have a word with yourself. Our Sky including BB and LL is £40. Decent tv, BB deal and 5 mobiles can easily be less than £100 a month.

Even if the credit card will will be paid off soon you should still have a complete overhaul of your finances. You need to cut up your cars, live within your means and build up your savings. You have no buffer in your budget for emergencies which is what your original post highlighted. Don't think you are out of the woods yet because you're actually in a very precarious financial situation. One major financial crisis and you'll be in trouble.