To think that XH should do the transfer?

[Doughtyball]

Namechanged but regular user. In our divorce consent order it states that he has to transfer the equity in the former marital home to me and I have to transfer my share in the holiday home to him. Costs for both transfers to be aggregated and split 50/50.

So I arranged to move the mortgage for the FMH into my sole name, engaged conveyancing solicitors, kept him in the loop throughout and paid all the fees. He signed the transfer letters and returned them in good time.

Because I have done all this whilst working full time and parenting our child alone I said that I would leave him to arrange the transfer of the holiday home and I would sign whatever was required.

He is furious about this and states that the consent order "specified" that I have to arrange it and that he doesn't have to do anything.

AIBU to request that he arrange "my" transfer in the same way that I arranged "his"? I can't get my head around the fact that there are two transfers and I am somehow on the hook for arranging both.

So as not to drip feed I do also worry that he will not refund me his 50% of costs were I to pay them upfront.

Family lawyer here.

You can't sort out the transfer in to his name. He needs to do it. That is because he is the one who will eventually have to sell it on, so will have to make sure he has good title, and if the holiday home has a mortgage he'll have to sort out his own application for a new one.

Have you considered whether you'd have to pay CGT on the transfer of the holiday home?

Submit an invoice for your time to organise his transfer - which ever was his the main house or the holiday one, then get on with the holiday one which was yours to do in the first place - its not his fault you chose to do his but agree that you are saving him time etc so bill him as part of the costs of transfer (effectively you will get half the invoice as costs are split)

Merry but she's worried he won't pay his half of the costs if she does it. She obviously knows him well enough to suspect he might pull a fast one.

OP, what about if you tell your XH you'll do it, provided that he transfers his 50% of the fees to you beforehand?

It sounds to me as though he had to transfer the equity in FMH to you (but you've jumped the gun and already done this - I can understand why it was important to you to get this done asap)
and you needed to transfer the HH equity to him - which is still outstanding, and your job to do. I'm basing that on how you OP was written, but I don't know the legal ins and outs of how the transactions take place, but your OP clearly states that the consent order states that you must transfer it to him.

So you probably need to do it. I understand why it grates, but it does seem like it is your responsibility, and if it is court ordered, I presume that there will be some comeback on you if you do not comply. Absolutely request the 50% costs for the FMH transfer from your ex now though.

It would have been simpler to sort both transfers out at the same time wouldn't it? Hindsight though...

It's not actually a lot of effort to do though is it? Particularly if you use the same solicitors and don't have to go through all the identification palaver again. I'd get it moving but leave it hanging until he's settled the 50/50 fees split (which can surely only be a matter of a couple of hundred pounds anyway can't it?). I don't why it's something to get stressed over, and certainly nothing for him to get 'furious' about. A couple of emails and a signature, what's the big deal?

mrsm are you a family lawyer?

You've seen the family lawyer Collaborate post upthread but have posted advice that is opposite to what Collaborate said so I hope you have the same credentials?

I had all this crap in my divorce and just ended up taking the lead just to get it done and sorted. Its painful.
Depends how much you want it done really!

He thinks it's wife work ... you're not his wife any more ... and the idiot hasn't clocked that it's in his best interest now to get this done, not yours.

Let him whinge to his solicitor; he will indeed look like a tit as others have said.

Does he want the property or just the cash. Is it easier to buy him out?

@Havaina No, as I said, I do not know the legal ins and outs and must have cross posted. I was very clear that I based my post entirely on what was written in the OP.

Nice nit picking, though. Hope it makes you feel big about yourself today.

Ask him when he will have the DC so you can sort it out. Or leave hime. Doubt he will go to Court and spend 20k .....

I have been where you are, I set up the transfer of family home into my name. Four years later other properties still in both our names. Stamp duties rules have changed I want to move and I am facing higher stamp duty.
So ultimately I found a solicitor for him got a quote and had to manage every stage of the process. I also ended up paying the bill as he claimed to have no money.
However, he no longer has any hold over me and it was a tremendous feeling of relief.

Thanks all for replying I really appreciate it. The situation with the FMH was that there was a mortgage and once the agreement was made he was desperate to get off the mortgage so he could buy a new property. Before the transfer could go through I had to get the mortgage in my sole name so I had to do all the application etc. It just went from there and at no point did ex behave as if it was anyone's but my responsibility to do it.

I agree it was also in my interest to get it completed. The holiday home is mortgage free.

I could do it to get him off my back but am reluctant to undertake the work involved when I'm either at work or doing childcare and have at best an hour to myself a day.

He on the other hand has a new wife to support him, no childcare responsibility and regularly visits the aforementioned holiday home.

Breakups/dividing stuff up is totally shit and I feel for you OP xx

I thrashed round in the 'fairness' issue for ages when I had a big breakup. Ex BF sent me an Excel spreadsheet detailing the depreciation of all our shared items and as he had set it at 4 years so everything was 'now virtually worthless' said that I should just sell it all to him for a fraction of what it would cost for me to replace it all. (yeah, because a sofa/bed/wardrobe really does become unusable after 4 years ??!?!?!?) There were two cars in the equation and he was being such a total prick that in the end I just rolled over and let him have both so that I didn't have to talk to him about it any more. Car had a nearly catastrophic failure a couple of weeks later :D

Moral of the story is that as galling as it is and and as furious as I still feel at his total dickwaddery, it really was worth just getting it over so that he couldn't cause me even more stress and rage.

Just sit back and do nothing. AS soon as the order was made you no longer had an equitable interest in the holiday home. Any CGT you have to pay on the transfer will have crystallised then. It's no skin off your nose if he takes forever to do it.

@mrsm43s

Havaina No, as I said, I do not know the legal ins and outs and must have cross posted. I was very clear that I based my post entirely on what was written in the OP.

Nice nit picking, though. Hope it makes you feel big about yourself today.

I'm not nitpicking mrsm and it doesn't make me feel big about myself to point out that you shouldn't give legal advice saying OP needs to do something or it is her responsibility to do something (even if you caveat it with probably) when you have no legal background. It's foolish and dangerous.

@Havaina I didn't give legal advice, I'm not qualified to. I gave an opinion (perfectly politely) on a post on a parenting website, where I clearly stated I don't know the legal ins and outs - how on earth could anyone possibly interpret that as legal advice?

You clearly get your ya-yas and a sense of superiority picking on people. Go ahead and have your moment on me - doesn't bother me one bit!

mrsm no idea what a ya-ya is but my sole concern was that OP doesn't take the advice of people telling her she 'needs' to do something or it is her 'responsibility' to do something when they have no idea what they're talking about.

I certainly don't think I'm superior, hence my advice to OP to speak to her solicitor.

I would argue that it's the people offering advice to OP from their backside who have an over-developed sense of their own superiority.

I'm in a similar situation with regards to a foreign holiday home. It was in the consent order that he had to arrange the transfer - the property will be his - and so he has to do it. I have been advised by my solicitor that if he doesn't I can apply to court for the consent order to be enforced as he is in breach of it, the ultimate penalty is a custodial sentence. If your consent order, agreed with both of you and legally binding, says that you have to do it, then you can't just decide not to.

I think I agree with Havaina's approach: write to him confirming that you will happily sign when the transfer is sent to you, write occasionally at intervals saying that you haven't received the transfer for signature yet and he might like to check with the lawyer. That way, he can't claim that you are trying to breach the court order.

Hi @TheTapir yes the holiday home is abroad too so it isn't just the case that I could do both transfers as the laws are very different and a uk conveyancing solicitor wouldn't be able to do it.

There are tax implications but not CGT as such as the value has fallen.

The order states I have to transfer my interest (in the same way he had to transfer his). He has transferred his interest just that I arranged it. I'm not refusing to transfer my interest I just don't want to arrange it all.

@Collaborate thank you I appreciate your time in responding to me.

The trigger for this has been I am trying to get a joint insurance policy assigned to my name only (I pay for the policy and this was also agreed in the consent order) and he's refusing to do it until I do the HH transfer.

Those of you who mention wife work and his seeking to control have, possibly, hit the nail on the head. He loves to needle and upset me and if it wasn't this it would be something else.

With regard to the insurance I don't want him to be the beneficiary if I die but the worst case is I'll be dead anyway. Wrt HH it's only to his interest not mine to do it.

I can't see the courts putting me in prison since I'm willing to sign (and who would do all the childcare ).

If he refuses to sign a deed of assignment you can apply to the court for an order authorising the judge to sign instead of him. A court would also usually order he has to pay your costs including lawyers fees.