Pornography

[Itsear]

Earlier I was discussing with my OH how to activate a block of pornography on our internet as our oldest is now 11 and I don’t want him learning about sex/women through internet porn sites. My OH is of the opinion that porn is actually liberating as you can see all sorts (old, young, fat, thin, mixed race, disabled, (typically) unattractive etc) and it is everyday images that perpetuate the theme of young, thin, light skin as attractive. I am not sure that he has a point but he thinks IABU.

Your OH doesn't want you to block porn so that OH can continue accessing porn. Nothing to do with your 11 y/o.

Gosh there's really great diversity in knowing that women of all shapes sizes and disability heritage etc are all available for sexual exploitation by men

Phew.

This just makes me think your OH is trying to justify it because he doesn't want to be blocked from watching porn himself

I'm not sure he has a point, alongside all of that you also have incest & torture porn.. is that also liberating to see those boundaries broken?

He probably doesn't want to block porn on the internet because it would spoil things for himself.
What he says about porn being liberating to a young boy is quite disgusting.
Block it OP!

Yuck. What a perverse way to think.

I think your OH is being totally unreasonable. 11 is a bit young and I think there is plenty of research now that excessive porn exposure is damaging for young boys.

He will be exposed to it though so at some point it needs to be discussed and explained that real life sex isn’t all bleached bum holes and spunk on faces. But there are ways to do that without giving him free reign to view whatever he chooses.

So he is saying he doesn't want the block so your DC can find out about diversity through porn?! Or is your AIBU more about your differing attitudes to porn? You are entitled to different opinions on it, but I wouldn't think anyone would think him reasonable if he is casual about your child accessing porn.

WTF! That’s the lamest excuse for your DH continuing to access porn I’ve ever heard! Hard to argue with that kind of ignorance but maybe try & find some evidence of the damage porn does to young people.

For instance this quote from Gail Dines "I have found that the earlier men use porn, the more likely they are to have trouble developing close, intimate relationships with real women. Some of these men prefer porn to sex with an actual human being. They are bewildered, even angry, when real women don't want or enjoy porn sex."

I would seriously worry you have a bigger problem than blocking porn sites if this is your DH’s attitude to women. You can learn about diversity & respect in a hundred different ways - but watching porn isn’t one of them.

Not sure about that, he has has a lot of data with his contract so doesn’t need the WiFi connection to access any porn himself. His point was that porn is generally more diverse than say women on TV/media, they are generally thin/young but obviously clothed!

Not that I agree with the husband, but it’s pretty easy for an adult (or an 11 year old for that matter) to disable a porn filter, so I don’t necessarily think he just wants to watch porn because of what he’s saying.

I totally agree, I am going to enable moderate blocks until DC has left home. He hasn’t actually tried to access anything yet but he is approaching a dangerous age.

If you’re happy for your 11 year old to watch teenage girls being brutally anally raped, and men engaging in child abuse and bestiality, then crack on, OP. Personally I’d have serious concerns about your DH’s boundaries, attitudes and child rearing.

Nope. Just a weak excuse for why he wants to keep watching porn himself...

Yea, I’m with the others.
Your DH just doesn’t want you blocking his porn. Tell him to watch it on his phone if he must, but that an 11 year old seeing porn is not liberating, it’s disturbing.

He has no point.

While some porn can be okay and true to life, most has a odd tinge. Block it, allow your 11 yo time to learn about it through healthy ways.

DP will have to use his mobile data like every other man with teenage children.

I suspect your OH's motives.
What you suggested is absolutely reasonable.

There was a “porn” video of a woman being violently raped by a horse a few years ago, she died of her injuries later on.
Do you really want your child to potentially be able to access stuff like that?

Babdoc while I absolutely agree that any porn should be blocked I am sure that scenes of beastiality and child rape are illegal and this can only be found on the dark web. Surely!?