AIBU to go to our local pub with DH for 2-4 hours and leave DC 13 1/2 and 14 1/2 together?

[Waltzingmatilda65]

This is the first time I/we have done this but am AIBU to go to our local pub 5 minutes walk away from our house (we live in a nice area) with DH and friends at 5pm for 2-3 hours (after making the kids tea) and leaving them some snacks and treats etc. We were in regular mobile phone contact, both are sensible, the doors were locked (spare keys left out) incase they needed to get out in an emergency and they know not to answer the door to strangers etc etc. AIBU not to want to interrogated by our slightly older also in the pub (not adjoining neighbours) asking where the kids were tonight and who was looking after them etc. I ended up feeling very guilty and told a white lie that my mum was looking after them (she never kid sits). Our friends who have grown up
Children wanted to go out between 7-8 but I persuaded them all to go out at 5pm so we could go thinking going out earlier would be ok. WWYD and AIBU. I have looked in direct gov law refers to not leaving children under 12 alone and not leaving older children alone overnight which I wouldn’t dream of doing.

Overnight - 16 is the accepted minimum I think.

Re staying out late ... not sure. My two are 13 and 15 and I'm never out later than 10.30. My Christmas party with my new team is likely to be a late one though, and I'm wondering whether I need to send them to my ex husband or whether they'll be ok until 12-1am. I'll see at the time. Thing is, I know several babysitters who babysit until midnight at 15yo (I was one of them, back in the dark ages!) so not sure why I have reservations.

Whenever there is a general question on mn about when it's fine to leave dc day time for a few hours, the answer seems to be around 10 years old, with some leaving them earlier (around 8) and some waiting till around 12.
I would have done this far sooner in your case, and ignore neighbour.

Sounds fine.

I am still mortified at my (usually very lovely) neighbour marching DD out of the local corner shop when she was 10. I'd asked DD to get a loaf of bread and some milk while I waited in the car for her. I thought it was a good way for her to gain some independence but my neighbour obviously thought she wasn't old enough to be allowed out of my sight.

Thanks he’s such a busy body our neighbour he asked me where the DC where the DC where and who was looking after them tonight, then his wife asked the same things 10mins later then a friend of theirs who was out with them and lives in the next street to us also asked me the same questions. I knew the DC wouldn’t have left the house, weren’t having a party and we were regularly in touch by text and phone throughout the night but I started to question myself then a friend of a friend that was at our table insisted it was illegal. So I went home fearing social services and or the police may be at the house.

Yes 😂 16 must be right.

RomaineCalm - Exactly it sounds like the kind of thing my neighbour would do. I remember my mum giving me a list when I was about 10 and sending me to the shops which might have included milk, cigarettes and sanitary towels. I used to be mortified but how times have changed.

At that age, we used to warn them portentiously not to go sticking knives and forks into the electricity sockets, and not to try juggling with the big sharp knives in the kitchen, and not to go out playing in the middle of the main road outside....

I think your children will enjoy the fact that you're all recognising greater scope for appropriate independence for all of you, individually and as a family.

Hope you all enjoy!

oh gosh OP it's totally fine.

I do wonder about people sometimes. (I mean your neighbours) Yes a 14 yo is ok at home alone.

There is no law on this issue beyond neglect being illegal - for the excellent reason that there is no right answer when a child us ok alone. A 10yo for ten minutes -fine. Some 10yos for an hour - yes but maybe not all. Overnight? Not so much. A two year old? needs an adult. A 12yo? probably OK for several hours or a day. An 8yo hmm depends on the child/how long etc. Can't make a simple rule for all

Goodness - I pay my 14 year old neighbor to babysit my eight and four year old and would happily stay out til 11 (not on a school night!).

It's perfectly legal and she's extremely sensible. Your neighbors are mad

You sound very anxious about the kids, locking them in and needing regular phonecalls etc

They are going into y10/9 now and you have never left them on their own?

I think that is almost extraordinary tbh!

What do you think could happen?

Are they allowed to go into town on their own for the day?

At 14 I was babysitting for other people.

I had to keep re-reading your title to make sure I hadn't misread the ages.

I'd have laughed in your neighbours' faces and said, "you do realise they're 12 and 14 don't you!!!!!!????"

Of course it's ok

They'll be fine. What's the bet they'll be on YouTube the whole time? 😂

We have left them together quite a few times for a few hours during the day but not on an evening due to them being so close in age a year apart they quite often fight and it can get out of hand sometimes.
The reason the doors were locked is because I even lock it during the day when I am in on my own as we often get ex offenders knocking on our doors etc and I feel it’s safer that way. Also if your in our back living room you may not hear if someone opened the door and cane in.