DSD has no manners ....

[Lifeadminatwork]

Do I intervene?

She’s 15, old enough to know better.
Her dad, my husband, is a Disney dad and won’t rock the boat but this is now affecting me. We’ve been out together recently when she was offered drinks and politeness by our friends. She acted like a fairly typical teenager and just answered with no please or thank you.

Should I or could I now say something. I’ve distanced myself from the family unit recently due to other teenage / step family issues but I feel this is having a detrimental affect on me as others are judging why I wouldn’t step in and encourage manners.

So she said please and thankyou? She doesnt have no manners then.

No she didn’t say please and thank you at all.

When asked if she wanted a drink her answer was “yeh”.

Is she being ill mannered or being a moody teenager? If she previously always said please and thank you I would talk to her before you go out and say please can you make sure while we are with colony you are saying please and thank you. If she hasn’t said it previously then her parents have made the decision to not raise her with manners and it’s not for you to question. Sadly.

Just say "yes, thank you" I don't see anything wrong with that, it's just a gentle reminder about manners. You do not need to have an discussion about it.

Manners have never been a huge part of her or her brother’s lives. Their parents obviously think this is acceptable but when it directly affects me surely I have a right to say something? People will assume I condone the lack of manners in my own home. It’s ironic as DH is very respectful and always polite, I have never understood why he tolerates it.

This would and does grind my gears.

I would Correct her every time. My cousins kids are the same

I would just explain to her when she’s alone that she needs to remember her pleases and thank yous. Don’t pull her up on it in front of non-family members unless she persists.

You need to talk to your husband and encourage him to start correcting her when she doesn't use please or thank you. I can see your frustration. It's his job, but it sounds like he wants to be seen as the cool dad. I detest a lack of manners. But you're only going to look like the evil step mum if you correct her. If anyone says anything to you, tell them that you've asked her dad to do something about it as it's his place. They'll understand that it's not a reflection on you, it's a reflection on his lazy parenting.