Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To ask if you think I've been lied to?

21 replies

SomethingFishy40 · 02/09/2018 17:19

Bit of a difficult one here.

I was with my bf for 6 months and everything was great, pretty much perfect. He suffers with his MH and the other day he was badly with it and ended it with me earlier this week saying he needs to be on his own to sort himself out for the sake of his DS and his job. He has started counselling and medication to do this.

He says he has no feelings for anything or anyone at the present time and doesn't want to see or talk to anyone.

However, since we split, I've noticed he constantly on whatsapp and he's been out a few times seeing friends? I've actually accused him of lying, even though I've seen him in a state with his depression, and accused him of having another woman. He denied this and said how low it was of me to say this.

I don't know what to think anymore and I keep crying over him as I love him so much.

OP posts:

gamerchick · 02/09/2018 17:21

You need to grieve and move on. He's finished it and is too much of a coward to tell you the truth. That alone should make you cross.

Maybe it's time to block him so it can't hurt you.

PositiveVibez · 02/09/2018 17:24

As horrible as it is to hear, he has told you he doesn't want to be with you.

It doesn't really matter whether he has lied or not. Your relationship is over.

I know it must be hard as you love him, but you need to accept the relationship is over.

That's not to say he is lying about his issues. Having depression doesn't mean locking yourself away and rocking in a corner.

He may be going out and on WhatsApp, but it doesn't sound like he has dumped you to go out on the razz.

Just block and delete and stop checking up on him. You need to move forward with your life

Flutterbyeee · 02/09/2018 17:24

You sound like a handful.

Bambamber · 02/09/2018 17:27

I mean this is the nicest way possible, it's not really your business what he does anymore. If it hurts you to see him on WhatsApp and going out, block him on everything so you can move on.

He may be lying, he may be an asshole, but he isn't your problem anymore and you shouldn't allow yourself to get upset by his actions now

Original poster

SomethingFishy40 · 02/09/2018 17:29

flutterbyeee how exactly? 🙄

OP posts:

1HitWonder · 02/09/2018 17:30

I agree with the others. Move on, he doesn't want to be with you and you shouldn't waste your time worrying about him. You deserve someone who's world would come crashing down if you were to part ways

IgglePigglesAnnoyingGiggle · 02/09/2018 17:30

You can't force anyone to be with you, so lies or no, move on OP.

I know it's hard to hear but like PP said, grieve and get on with your life.

Hope you feel better soon.

SorryNotSorry · 02/09/2018 17:34

Ignore the rude poster. You don't sound like a handful you sound hurt and heartbroken. Block him whatever he said he has chosen not to be with you. MH or not you are not his priority he didn't ask for a break, he is not begging for your patience as you work through this together. He has dumped you, you are disposable to him. So make him a part of your past he doesn't deserve you. Good luck

POPholditdown · 02/09/2018 17:34

too much of a coward to tell you the truth.

I don’t get this ? There’s nothing to say he is with someone else. Presumably he is allowed to go out with friends despite MH and having a kid?

And Whatsapp doesn’t mean anything either. It’s just a text message replacement, not dating app.

Anyway OP, it’s just one of those things now. Hes given you an explanation, time to move on.

Gottagetmoving · 02/09/2018 17:41

What he says may be true. He doesn't want the complication of a relationship because of the way he is. That didn't mean he docent want to go out when he feels like it or speak to anyone at all.
A relationship is too much of a commitment that he can be bothered with. I think you would be wise to try moving on but I understand how upsetting thinks be for you.

Gottagetmoving · 02/09/2018 17:42

Sorry...typos! I understand how upsetting this must be for you!

Haireverywhere · 02/09/2018 18:12

The website depression fallout/ let the sunshine in has lots of information on "typical patterns" people with MH difficulties may follow when ending relationships due to depression. You will find lots of similar stories sadly. The advice is usually very nuanced depending on the nature and length of the relationship.

Good luck to you and sorry you're suffering

ClaryFray · 02/09/2018 18:16

It's ended it doesn't matter what he's doing.

Also sorting out your mental health can be seeing friends and talking to people.

I think you need to stop checking up on him.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 02/09/2018 18:17

Did you comment on the wrong thread flutterbyee?

Poloshot · 02/09/2018 18:20

Yeah

Original poster

SomethingFishy40 · 02/09/2018 18:21

Thanks hair I will have a look at that website.

He told me when he ended it that I deserved better. I am currently going through a bitter divorce and have two young DS.

The hardest thing as that he doesn't even want to see me. I asked to go round yesterday and pick up something I'd left at his and he said he would leave it outside.

OP posts:

obviousNC101 · 02/09/2018 18:22

Look you need to accept that he doesn't want to be with you. It sounds like he was trying to soften the blow by exaggerating the MH stuff and saying he needed space but essentially, he wants to end it. Grieve, and move on.

HollowTalk · 02/09/2018 18:23

I think you're well out of it, OP. Focus on getting that divorce through - sorry it's a bitter one - and then look for someone different. This man isn't the one for you.

NotTakenUsername · 02/09/2018 18:26

It was 6 months. Be glad that’s all the time you gave to it and move on.

SpottingTheZebras · 02/09/2018 18:52

I can’t see anything to suggest he has lied to you. WhatsApp is just a facility for him to talk to friends or family and perhaps he finds that easier than face to face; maybe, as well, coming out of a relationship means he needs that support more than he did when he was seeing you so that is why he is using the app at the moment.

I agree you need to accept and leave it. He doesn’t want a relationship or contact and, if he told you the truth and you accused him of lying, I imagine he would rather avoid another potential confrontation.

If you’re right and he is lying, then you are much better off out it anyway. I’m sorry you are hurting.

Original poster

SomethingFishy40 · 02/09/2018 19:25

You are all right to leave it and move on, for the sake of my mental health as well.

I have deleted his number now so no more WhatsApp stalking.

I just wish this pain would go away.

OP posts:

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread