Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I report possible sexual abuse?

5 replies

WorriedMum200 · 02/09/2018 15:48

Have name changed.

My Teen DD (17) has told me her friend was sexually molested by her steph father when she was younger. I don’t really know this friend well. She has been around our house a few times and seems lovely, but from what my DD tells me she is very troubled. She is doing incredibly well at school, but also has problems and is self harming. DD says friend’s mum is aware of her DDs troubles but not of the origin of the troubles. As far as I know this girl has only confidet in DD and one other friend about the abuse. DD has told me and DH. It is also relevant that both parents are social workers. I believe the steph dad is a senior social worker. I have never met these parents but DD has told me they are very controlling and also that the steph dad is commenting on DDs friend often in a sexual way.

I feel that as DH and I are now possibly the only adults who are aware, we need to report this to someone, but it would be obvious that it came from DD or DDs friend. DD would be furious with me and probably get into trouble with her friendship group (I know this is not important in the grand scheme of things)

I know I might be flamed for saying this, but I also think teens sometimes make things up for attention and I have seen this up close with DDs friends several times including one incident which involved allegations of abuse against a boyfriend in revenge for a breakup. This went as far as the police when the girl admitted she made it up.

I have known about this for 6 months now. AIBU not to be reporting what I know? How would you handle this? I cannot decide if this is teenage drama and attention seeking or I am sitting on information of a peado senior social worker (allegations include picture taking). Who can I report to as they are not in the same school now and how do I report to social services when both parents work for them?
Please guide me.

OP posts:
flapjackfairy · 02/09/2018 15:53

Yes you must report it. Do it anonymously through the nspcc if that is easier. The rights and wrongs are not your responsibility , whether she is making it up or not it needs sorting but i suspect every word is true and as an adult you must step in .

Rebecca36 · 02/09/2018 15:53

Speak to the NSPCC, they know how to deal with allegations of this kind quite sensitively. You can't just leave it, it may be nothing but not worth taking the risk. You won't be named.

HelloToYou · 02/09/2018 15:53

Ouch, what a delicate situation!
I would definitely be reporting to someone - who though - I am not sure...
Police probably.

And offer the friend of your daughter a safe place to stay, maybe even offer her to live with you if you can?
She is 17, she can legally chose herself where she wants to live.

flapjackfairy · 02/09/2018 15:57

And if she is making it up which i seriously doubt then it still needs bringing out into the light because she will ruin someones life with false allegations. Dont be thrown by the fact he is a sw as i am a foster carer and knew of a v respected foster carer who slept with his teenage foster child so as we see all too often being a respectable person in terms of job etc is the perfect cover. It is a v difficult situation for you of course but teenagers cannot make a judgement call on something this serious.

HelloToYou · 02/09/2018 15:58

Also - please please please don't doubt your daughter / her friend... that kind of attitude is why people don't come forward with these problems sooner.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page