To think it’s not hard to say thank you.

[ThanklessInSeattle]

I try to be a thoughtful person and think being considerate to the people around you goes a long way.

But increasingly I am noticing how many people don’t say thank you for small acts of kindness. Holding open doors or letting someone get on the bus first, rarely a thank you. Yesterday at the gym I got a few mats and handed them out, people just took them with no acknowledgement. Put a few birthday cards in the post to friends (not close enough for gift giving so we just do cards). Not a mention.

I don’t expect anyone to prostrate themselves before me in gratitude. But am I being unreasonable to think these things warrant a brief “thanks!”? I’m only 36 so not coming at this from a very old fashioned perspective, but it really seems like we don’t value etiquette and gratitude any more.

longwayoff

Bluelady I’m increasingly struggling to not get grumpy about it too. Have actually had fit young men push in front of me whilst heavily pregnant so they can get a seat on the tube. That definitely brings out the passive aggressive in me!

Both my aunt and my sister encouraged their children (all DDs) to be pushy, a bit selfish and thoughtless because they wanted them to be confident in life and not allow anyone to walk all over them.

Somehow they've all turned into polite women anyway, but they are all confidential as well. I deplore my aunt's and sister's methods but I do think there is something on there - how to raise children with manners but also not allow others to walk all over them.

I stood up on a crowded bus to give my seat to an older person who looked knackered and wobbly. Cue fit muscular young man slamming his arse straight down on it. Am no spring chicken myself and have a correspondingly large selection of insults which I shared with the rest of the bus til he got off at next stop. Still cross

Longwayoff

Did he hear all the insults? Good on you 😃

When I give my seat up for someone in need,I still 'hold' it (e.g. with my bag) to prevent an unscrupulous chancer from nabbing it. Sad but necessary.

Havaina, I'm happy to say he heard the lot, added to by other standers who'd seen what happened. And the bugger still sat there staring straight ahead, no acknowledgement. Never occurred to me that anyone would do such a thing so thanks for tip, I shall definitely do that in future.

I always thank for people standing aside, holding doors etc.

Don't thank for cards though, partly because they're often from people I'm not in regular contact with so would pretty much have to write them a card to say thank you for the card!

If we'd like a society where people are considerate and helpful, then it makes sense to say "thank-you" whenever people show consideration and helpfulness. If people stop saying "thank-you" , gradually people will stop doing nice things and we'll all be the poorer for it.