To think these are impressively wanky words?

[FoodieLexie]

Just seen these impressively wanky words on a bottle of Lenor. It makes "the universe sing" apparently. Anyone else got any prime examples of CAUAB? (Complete And Utter Advertising Bollocks?)

Sorry it's sideways....not sure how to fix that...

🤮

So just in case society hasn't managed to make you feel guilty enough already for not breastfeeding, here's an extra kick in the stomach for you. 🤨

Leah- side note i didn’t realise formula contained palm oil.

Arse. I am trying to boycott it.

This seems to be a common thing with fabric conditioners etc. Think of some of supposed ‘fragrances’ - I’ve seen Black Diamond and Crushed Silk and Jasmine. What the hell do diamonds and silk smell like? Does silk smell different once crushed?

Not sure its 'wanky' to say breastfeeding is good for babies

Just as wanky as a perfume advert

Don’t get me started! Has anyone seen the stupid Canderel sweetener dispensers with “Enjoy” or “Smile” written across them? Not to mention those infantile packs of perishable goods that say “ Keep me in the fridge”, as if they were bloody sentient beings!
What on earth is there in a chemical sweetener tablet that one could conceivably “enjoy” consuming?

I know! I can just about put up with “ocean breeze” and suchlike - sea
breezes do have a smell at least, though nothing like fabric softener - but diamond? Ruby? Mist? Do you reckon they just recycle Farrow and Ball names?

When you have no breast milk and cannot feed your baby, wanky statements about breastfeeding being best for your baby is enough to tip you over the edge.

@FoodieLexie if they are using F&B, I'm not sure Lenor Elephant's Breath will be a top seller!

Yeah I can’t bring myself to feel unhappy about them saying breastfeeding is good for a baby. It’s a fact. Don’t take it so personally.

They probably have to put that on the formula tins to show they are not trying to persuade people to buy it, like you can't get loyalty points for it either.

I agree with the fabric softener one though!

@reallyanotherone Kendamil formula doesn’t contain palm oil apparently

I dont want faux inspirational bolleaux on my dry goods. I dont follow SM accounts that post inspirational memes (other than Shitty Inspirational Quotes) so why would I pay for them?

Anything which is orchid scented too. I used to be a florist and none of the roughly ten different types of orchid we had in regularly had any scent. Nor do the plants you can buy.

You don't have to be Einstein to know breast feeding is good for babied. Nobody needs their nose rubbed in it.

Anything by Innocent (smoothies, juice etc)

Impulsesealer how about you get some self-awareness.

Bit off-topic perhaps but I always liked the word "Sesquipedalianism" which means "The practice of using long, sometimes obscure, words in speech or writing."

Its as if just by saying it you are doing it.

I think the formula tin statements are difficult. I think they have to say it, but from experience whilst deep in the feelings of guilt of not being able to breastfeed (magnified by the hormonal craziness that comes in the days after having a baby) it is very hard to read that you should be breastfeeding your baby

@shotsfired loving the thought of Elephant Breath fabric softener . Wonder what the wanky words would be for that?

“An ancient wisdom. An African savannah. Inspired by pachyderm flatus....”

I found the use of the word juxtaposition when describing cheese a bit wanky

The formula thing is bullshit. I bf both of mine but recognise that I was lucky to do so with few issues.

Yes, breast milk is biologically designed for human babies.

But...

Formula is designed to be nutritionally balanced.

Having a newborn is soul crushingly hard work. There are so many ways in which you are made to feel as though you are failing.

Why the hell is it deemed acceptable at a governmental level to insist on further guilt tripping women at what is possibly the most vulnerable point at their lives. Surely all that really matters is that their babies are being fed.

In terms of wanky descriptions, i shop in lidl so most of my food is thankfully factual. Exh did give me a bottle of aquavit called Dild tho. I so want to graffiti that bottle.

The ultimate wankiness i ever encountered was in a cookbook that hilariously called for 'activated cashews' and 'pink Himalayan sea salt' as though they were cupboard staples amongst other things.

I once saw hot chocolate described as “single origin” in a cafe
Quite frankly I couldn’t give a toss if it came from 100 origins