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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you pass this dress on?

26 replies

DressDebate · 02/09/2018 11:53

NC for this as could be outing if family are on here.

About 3 years ago while on holiday in spain my granddad spent quite a large amount of his euros on a dress for my DD.

DD has worn it loads in the last couple of years. It’s a really good quality dress and it was too big for my DD when she first got it. It’s now starting to get too short in the skirt bit (she is abnormally small due to a condition she has). It’s also very versatile as it’s pretty enough for a wedding but informal enough for everyday use so has become a favourite. It is still in brilliant condition as it washes so well, and there’s no netting or anything that’s got torn.

6 months ago my cousins wife had a little girl. She’s the only other female Great Grandchild for my Granddad. I’m thinking of passing it to my cousin for his DD to wear once my DD has finished with it this winter. It’s the equivalent of I think 2-3 years in this country so it won’t fit my cousins DD for at least a year.

WIBU to pass it on? Or does it look ungrateful to my granddad?

If it helps I know the dress cost around 100 euros which is a hell of a lot of money to spend on one dress. I'm also unlikely to have anymore children due to my DDs specific SN.

OP posts:
Whereisthecoffee · 02/09/2018 11:55

Could you ask him ? Say dd has outgrown it what does he think of the idea of passing it onto another family member ?

Holidayshopping · 02/09/2018 11:56

Ask your grandad and see what he thinks?

Heismyopendoor · 02/09/2018 11:56

What else would you do apart from pass it on? Give it back to your grandad?

I’m sure he would love to see another of his great grandchildren in it. That’s if he remembers about it lol

sleepismysuperpower · 02/09/2018 11:56

i personally would pass it on. there is no point in it sitting in the wardrobe, when someone else could make use out of it. if grandpa asks, just explain that you absolutely loved the dress, but as it is getting to small for DD, you have decided to give it to someone else who can use it. all the best x

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 02/09/2018 11:58

I would ask him. Say that your DD has had loads of pleasure from the dress and it's still in good enough condition to pass on.
He'll most probably be delighted that he chose well

TeenTimesTwo · 02/09/2018 11:58

How on earth could it look ungrateful to pass on a well loved but sadly outgrown expensive dress to another relative?

I think you are overthinking!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 02/09/2018 11:58

I would pass it on unless it is of such sentimental value to you or your DD that you’d rather make it into a teddy or cushion cover or something.

I’d tell GGrandad as she’s grown out of it that’s your plan and give him an opportunity to say no or whatever. Although I doubt he will, presumably he understands children grow!

Original poster
DressDebate · 02/09/2018 11:59

That’s if he remembers about it lol

He absolutely remembers it, DD was his first Great Grandchild and she was the only one born at the time of the holiday and remembers spending the money and choosing it.

OP posts:
AamdC · 02/09/2018 12:00

Of course why wouldnt you i have loads of clorhes from my sisters two boys as they are a few years ilder rhan mine

Heismyopendoor · 02/09/2018 12:01

That’s excellent then. I know my gradad is getting on a bit and wouldn’t probably remember something that he bought three years ago and then another year till next kids fits it, so four years ago and on a different child.

Do you think he will be angry with you passing it on?

Quartz2208 · 02/09/2018 12:01

ask him - tell him you are thinking of doing it as your daughter is outgrowing it

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 02/09/2018 12:02

How could it be insulting to pass on an outgrown item of clothing? What else would you do with it?
I doubt he expected her to get three years out of it in the first place?!!

Original poster
DressDebate · 02/09/2018 12:04

I'm just aware that he's in his 80s and I don't want to fallout with him. He's amazing and has always been there for us growing up and I don't want to offend him in anyway.

OP posts:
Heismyopendoor · 02/09/2018 12:06

I don’t think anyone would be offended by passing on out grown clothes to family. Is he easily offended?

DreamingofEden · 02/09/2018 12:11

Get your daughter to ask your grandad, plant the seed in her head that it would be a nice thing to do and then let her ask him herself.

SilentHeadphones · 02/09/2018 12:12

Depends how sentimental you are! I said I'll keep one favourite outfit per size range for my DD. On top of that, I've kept a couple of extra baby outfits that my gran made for her. If it's something she loves and has a special meaning, then I would find it hard to give it away.

Although maybe it's different as I don't have any close cousins and my DD is the youngest so nothing is "kept in the family".

MysteriousQuinn · 02/09/2018 12:13

I think it would be unreasonable NOT to pass it on. If it's too small then there's no reason to keep hold of it and it's even better that it would be passed on to another member of the family. Mind you I'm probably the least sentimental person you could meet so that's probably why I absolutely can not understand why you'd think it might be unreasonable.

Aridane · 02/09/2018 12:14

I would think he would be delighted! Smile

Dahlietta · 02/09/2018 12:19

I would just ask him: "Grandad, you know how much we've loved this gorgeous dress you bought babyDressDebate? Well, she's growing out of it now and I wondered if cousinDressDebate's new baby might like to use it too. What do you think?" If he is for some reason bothered by this idea, then don't do it, but I can't see why he would be.

CatkinToadflax · 02/09/2018 12:20

I think if you were passing it on to a random friend then that could possibly offend your grandad - but passing it on to your cousin to be worn by another of his great grandchildren is a lovely thing to do.

My godmother gave me the most beautiful dress when I was about six. I still have it though it hasn't seen the light of day in the past 30 years! Grin

Oldraver · 02/09/2018 12:21

I think you're Grandad would love it being worn by another GC.

If not sell it on Ebay, as good quality Spanish stuff is a thing.

Does you Grandad have a photo of your DD in the dress ?

inlectorecumbit · 02/09/2018 12:33

I kept a dress that my DP's bought my DD when they went to Spain a week after she was born.
It has now been worn by both my GDD's and it is lovely to see them in it and compare photos
It is too small for them now but DD is hanging on to it for now Grin

VimFuego101 · 02/09/2018 12:35

I can't see why he would mind. Tell him you love it so much it would be nice to have it become a family heirloom. Just be clear on what you want to happen to it when the next recipient outgrows it, so that they don't charity shop it or give it away to a non-family member.

NonJeNeRegretteRien · 02/09/2018 12:47

I think it’s lovely to give it to someone else who means a lot to him. It’s also been well loved so happy days if you ask me.

Original poster
DressDebate · 02/09/2018 13:07

Yes granddad has photos of my DD in it.

OP posts:
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