To think women's refuges aren't just another "housing option" if you want rid of your husband

[Babydusst]

A post came to my attention on social media this morning that somebody I'm acquainted with was being recommended to LTB and go to a women's aid refuge.. because her husband was unfaithful.

The woman being advised said he had never been abusive just unfaithful to which the responder replied that "he doesn't need to have been, just say its emotional and he's a narcissistic"

Aibu to think women's refuges should absolutely not be taken advantage of like this and are for extreme cases where women and children are in danger

Am I missing something or is the advisor absolutely deluded?

Domestic abuse covers all abuse not just violence.

Women’s aid will accept any abuse.

Well of course if she has to lie about being abused, it’s not right.

But most women think they need to have been beaten to a pulp to access refuge, and that is not the case.

Would cheating be classed as abusive if there wasn't other factors at play?

For example husband goes on a night out and sleeps with another woman, does that mean the wife is then a victim of domestic abuse?

I was always under the impression the refuges were for people in danger needing to flee, I've spent a few months in one myself some years ago and everybody I spoken to had fled a dangerous situation

I'm not minimising alternate types of abusive I'm just very surprised that a husband having a one night stand then being caught out would equate abuse

Well it probably wouldn’t be classed as abuse ‘worthy’ of seeking refuge.

Are lots of women doing this?

I'm not sure its the first time I've heard of it. Emotional abuse is an insidious thing and absolutely warrants LTB but I'm struggling with a one night stand that he tried to conceal then meaning the wife is eligible for refuge and equates to emotional abuse.

I wouldn’t worry. I don’t think the floodgates are going to open.

When I went into refuge the question I was asked was if I was frightened of my now ex. The answer for me was yes and although he'd never actually hit me there were other factors at play. I agree you shouldn't lie to get in though, once there you realise what some of the ladies had been through and that coupled with the lack of space/funding should be more than to demonstrate to anyone why not to abuse the system. It's not an easy out. There is also a screening process of sorts, it's not as easy as just deciding that's what you should do. I'm sure they can weed out the genuine from the not so.