He gave them a dummy

[AllStar14]

I'm really pissed off and need some views on this. I have 18 month old DT and they have been without a dummy for about 10 days. It has been very hard, especially the nights, but I persevered and it has been getting easier. Last night they went to stay with their dad for the first time in a while and he sent a picture of them this morning with dummies! He knows I took them away, we've had many conversations about it and I asked him to make sure there wasn't any around the house for them to find!! AIBU to be so annoyed?! All MY hard work ruined in one night.

My dentist said to stop when the adult teeth came through

I think this is less about the dummies and more about my ex not going along with what was agreed between us.

I think it's irrelevant that people are telling the OP to chill out and let them have the dummies for a bit longer because I'd be bloody fuming if I was the main carer and I'd tried like hell to get them to ditch them only for their dad to buckle on night 1 when he knew what a tough time it had been.
It's not just about dummies, it's about him not being a consistent parent.
He wasn't fair on you or your twins OP.

what was agreed between us.

That changes my opinion. If the two of you agreed this between you then he’s just weak.

It initially read like you had seen the dentist and were following the advice and insisting he did the same.

If you and he discussed the approach and agreed, then I’d be questioning why he now thinks you need to chill out when you were both initially in agreement about this decision.

Never understood why people stick nasty bits of plastic in their children's mouths anyway.

YANBU I'd be fuming too. Getting babies weaned off dummies is hard work so for him to just cave and ruin all your hard work is massively unreasonable. You don't need to chill out, you are going by what the dentist has advised and trying to do what you think is best for your kids and he can't be bothered to have one difficult night in order to support you on this. It's just not on!

Never understood why people stick nasty bits of plastic in their children's mouths anyway.

Lots of people stick ‘nasty bits of plastic’ in their children’s mouths to offer comfort to the child and sanity to the parents.

Many find it preferable to breaking a thumb sucking habit when the time comes.

Do you struggle generally with comprehension, or just when it comes to being judgmental about other people parenting choices?

Never understood why people stick nasty bits of plastic in their children's mouths anyway.

If you had my colicy refluxy cmpa permanently poorly DD, believe me, you'd have given her a dummy too just to keep your sanity for the first year of her life.

Sending you a photo suggests he doesn't like you very much! What a bastard! And then telling you to chill out??

I hate him for you. I suggest he has more overnights with them. Then he might realise what parenting means.

They both had one in the photo? And he's expecting you to believe that they each found one "accidentally?" It's such an obvious lie that he clearly couldn't give a shit what you think.

I had hoped to avoid this by not giving them dummies at all but twin1 was in nicu at one week old for 7 days with a chest infection, he wasn't allowed more than a few mls of milk at a time so was given a dummy to settle him and it went from there.

As for the picture, it was one of them in ex's bed sent to show how little sleep he had (what a shame!) rather than to show me they had dummies. I could only see one dummy in the picture aswell but find it hard to believe he could let one have a dummy and not the other. They would kick off!

what was agreed between us - are you sure it was agreed between you? Or was it you dictating what you had decided would happen, and him going along with it to shut you up?