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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To give up lovely pt job to go full time?

44 replies

JobDilema · 01/09/2018 23:23

Sorry - have nc’ed and am posting here for traffic. Also I realise I’ve spelled my user name wrong, so three cardinal MN sins in one go, but hey ho.

Anyway I’m in a bit of a dilemma as to what to do. I have a lovely job: fun, part time, flexible hours, lovely boss, well paid, nice colleagues. The kind of job that you would bite your arm off for. However, I’ve been there over ten years now and I am bored! I’m bored with the place and the limited variety of my work. I like the people but that is not enough to make me want to stay. I feel as if my life is passing me by. My teen dcs don’t need me so much, I feel as if I’m not much more than a servant to the rest of the family, I seem to exist to serve others! I have two degrees and have lots of professional experience ffs. My position at my current place of employment offers no promotion prospects... basically I feel as if I could plod along there until I retire.

A new role has come up locally. Quite rare in my line of business. It’s full time. Commensurate in salary to existing job but of course more hours therefore more money. Big company (household name) and I would imagine great promotion prospects too, should I want to push further. I should add that his is a step up from my current role and the wages reflect a more realistic amount than what I am being paid (not putting myself down but I am being paid more than I really should be 😬). I am excited about this job.

I’ve been asked to an interview the week after next. But I don’t know if I want to go for it! Going ft will be really hard work; I will need to sort out School run logistics for one of the dcs, and we have a dog.

I don’t want to waste the company’s time! Has anyone gone full time and regretted it? Am I being completely mad to consider it in the first place? I can’t get my head straight over this and I’m already starting to panic about coming across as insincere in the interview.

OP posts:

firstworldproblems2018 · 01/09/2018 23:35

Hmmm tough one. It sounds like you do want to go for it and are more than qualified to do so! And your children aren’t little any more so although you have a school run to sort out, there’s less of a childcare aspect to it than if they were younger.

Does your partner (if you have one) do FT? What about division of household chores etc? My situation is slightly different as I have two primary age kids, but I do PT in a flexible ish job and absolutely love it. I love not trying to juggle (well, there’s a bit of a juggle but not nearly as much as before!) work and childcare. I love having time to do housework etc and not resenting DH for not doing it when we both worked FT (I know, I know). I enjoy the less stressful pace of life.

BUT your children are older and it sounds like a great opportunity! Would it definitely have to be FT 5 days a week?

Singlenotsingle · 01/09/2018 23:41

Just go along to the iv to see what its all about. You might not get offered it. If you are offered it, you might turn it down. But just go, and no harm done. Good luck!

Babyroobs · 01/09/2018 23:47

My dogs are the thing stopping me going full time . I just can't bear the thought of them being on their own a lot even though I would obviously get a dog walker and the kids are home at 3.15.

waterandlemonjuice · 01/09/2018 23:56

Go for it
If you get it you have a decision to make
You don't have to take it but try to get it

Original poster

JobDilema · 02/09/2018 01:17

Thank you all for your replies.

Firstworldproblems (ha! Love the name - that should be mine right now) dh is supportive of whatever I do. I think he’d prefer for me to work pt because it’s worked so well for us as a family. I am a bit of a stresshead and so despite more money he knows life won’t get any easier for him; he does understand that he’ll need to help around the house more. I think it would be quite good for all the family to pull together a bit more as I do feel like the archetypal Mum that does it all for them. As I said to dh, I’ve adapted my life around the family for the last fifteen years (was SAHM to start with) and I’d now like to do something that’s about me and my own personal development.

Babyroobs, it’s not easy is it... I’ll have to walk her v early before work, get someone in to let her out, and get the dcs to walk her quickly round the field after school...

Agree Single and Water, perhaps I should just go for it and see what happens...

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 02/09/2018 05:57

You would be foolish to not go to the interview. As for the new job, your children are getting older every day and you can always hire a dog walker. You are at a time in your life when you need to start looking towards the future. Don't miss out on a great opportunity because of silly and temporary issues.

DeadGood · 02/09/2018 06:07

Go to the interview. No question.
If you don’t get it, your quandary is moot. If you do, well you can make your decision then. But if you don’t at least interview, you will always wonder.
If you do get the job, I would suggest taking it and throwing money at your problems for a while - get a cleaner (or increase the frequency of your existing cleaner), pay for childcare, pay for a dog walker. You will be making more than before and these services won’t eat up the entirety of that pay increase. It doesn’t sound like you are desperate for more money; but it does sound like you are seeking more professional fulfilment.

DeadGood · 02/09/2018 06:08

Great post Aquamarine

Flamingoose · 02/09/2018 06:09

I would leap at the chance. Dog can go to doggy daycare.

At least go to the interview. If it isn't right for you, you'll know. If you pass it up without finding out you'll always wonder.

I work full time and tbh it's an absolute pain in the arse for our family life but we just find a way to manage. I'm not prepared to have a safe, easy little job to fit in with everyone else's plans, and in the end I hope the kids look back and understand that.

user1493413286 · 02/09/2018 06:38

I’d go for the interview and see what you think of the job; I’ve been for interviews and known it wasn’t the right role for me and then had other interviews and been so excited about the job.
It’s also worth thinking about whether you’d regret it once your children are even older and leaving home etc

Oblomov18 · 02/09/2018 07:01

Definitely go for the interview. You will only have this decision to make IF they offer it to you.

I have a lovely part time job, but have just started looking for a full time job.

Di11y · 02/09/2018 07:06

Sounds like a few minor logistics compared to your brain turning to mush and feeling like a servant.

You'll be able to afford a cleaner, gardener, dog walker with the extra money, and hopefully the school run issue won't last long (I was up and out to school without seeing my parents by 14)

BarbaraofSevillle · 02/09/2018 07:07

Definitely go for the new job, and whether you get it or not, it sounds like it's time to stop doing everything for everyone.

Can the teens get themselves to school? Walk the dog? Cook a meal one day a week each? Yes, your DH also needs to do more.

Almondio · 02/09/2018 07:19

Following with interest, I'm in a very similar position with regards to having been a SAHM and most of the family stuff being down to me (though DH is very supportive and does his fair share, he works a long FT week, lots of travel too).

I have a v similar PT role to you, and though I've only been in it for a couple of years, am already thinking it has a shelf life for me of about 4/5 years max. The DCs are early teens, I have another 20 or so years of career in front of me and I'll definitely be looking for a new challenge that my current employer can't offer- sadly!

But PT works so well for us as a family, and tbh, I LOVE working 3 days, as I can get all of the house stuff done, go to the gym, do voluntary work and meet friends on days off.

I'd go for the interview if I was you, you're obviously interested as you're thinking about how it could work, and maybe it's time to put yourself first in terms of your career ambitions. The DCs and dog will be fine. The role might even be more flexible than you think...nothing to lose to find out!

Hassled · 02/09/2018 07:26

I did pretty much this last year - I had a nice enough PT job and just got bored with it. I couldn't climb the ladder because there wasn't really a ladder to climb - and I'm not getting any younger so felt if I was ever going to stretch myself it had to be now. So now I'm FT elsewhere - it's much more challenging and I love it.

It did take a lot of adjustment at home. And I was exhausted - that tiredness was the bit I really wasn't expecting. Now it just seems normal - the house is messier but DH and the kids do way more than they used to and we vaguely keep on top of things.

MumsGoneToIceland · 02/09/2018 07:40

Go for the interview as others have said and see how you feel about the job. IF offered it and you are excited by it, then it wouldn’t be detrimental at that stage to ask if there are any flexible working options (e.g do 5 days worth of hours in 4 or wfh one day a week if you think they would help with work/life balance) or you could take the job and after 6 months when you have proved yourself, ask for flexible work options then if you were funding ft hard, perhaps even asking to work 4 days a week if you felt you could do the job in 4 days. Good luck!

Mamia15 · 02/09/2018 07:52

Go for it - if like me you have a couple of decades of working life left, I did similar a few years ago and despite the adjustments at home (we have a dog as well - both Dh and teens help with dog walking etc) I'm so much happier and already I've been promoted.

Pinkprincess1978 · 02/09/2018 07:59

I was in a similar position as you 3 years ago and I went for it! Yes it takes some adjustment to being full time and my DH took time to get used to pulling his weight especially with the kids as he was so used to my flexibility but the extra money soon brought in him round.

Go for the interview have to good questions to hand and see how you feel if offered the job.

GoldfishCrackers · 02/09/2018 08:03

If you were designing your family roles from scratch would you have yourself doing the unfulfilling pt job + all the school-run/dog-walking/housework (whilst your DH and DC contribute however they're contributing now)? Or would you prefer work ft and share the other stuff more equally?

If you do take the ft role (and FWIW I would), the management of your former responsibilities do not become your responsibility: eg it will be everyone's job to muck in if the dog-walker can't make it.

Apart from all of that, an interview is also for you to check out the employer so don't worry about wasting anyone's time.

Almondio · 02/09/2018 08:12

goldfishcrackers really good way of looking at it re: roles and how maybe you'd do things differently. I'm going to bear that in mind when I'm considering my future.

Being a SAHM ( I always freelanced throughout but was/am the main support at home) worked for us when DCs were little as DH worked away and overseas a lot, then we moved overseas for a few years but things are different now.

Namelesswonder · 02/09/2018 08:17

I’m just about to go fulltime in a new role after 14 years part-time. Youngest is in last year of primary, DH away with work 2 or 3 nights a week with work but I might determined to make it work. DH and DC being supportive and promising help. My new role excites me, I’ve plodded along putting my career on hold for too long, this is my time now. I would say go for it.

Namelesswonder · 02/09/2018 08:18

So many typos.....I really shouldn’t do anything till I’ve had my coffee!

Original poster

JobDilema · 02/09/2018 08:32

This is all really interesting, thank you for your replies! I was expecting to be told I was mad (and maybe even a little ungrateful!) to give up my pt job. What’s also interesting (to me!) is how your replies of encouragement are very exciting and making me want to go for it more, ie I’m not looking for excuses NOT to IYKWIM. Dh and I keep talking about it and he’s very realistic yet also encouraging.

I had a really strong feeling when I saw the job (it literally popped out on my first Google search in ages) and I know I’d be right for it, if they’ll have of course

OP posts:

OrcinusOrca · 02/09/2018 08:37

Do it! Sounds like your brain needs it.

Whippedtoafrenzy · 02/09/2018 08:42

You can only decide if the job is right for you when you have offered it. Until then applying, going for the interview is merely great experience in preparation for the ‘right time right job’ situation. Until that point, I wouldn’t sweat it. 🌻

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