To wonder what the f*ck I’m supposed to do?

[31weeksgone]

Applied for council housing. Currently living with partner and daughter, partner is daughters dad and verbally and mentally abusive to me on daily basis. Starting work on Monday and I don’t earn enough to rent on my own and have to pay nursery fees, can’t apply for benefits whilst living with him because we count as a partnership, and can’t private rent without the benefits as haven’t enough money to put down as a deposit. At least £950 a month for 1 bedroom flat here with normally 1 month ahead and fees.

Applied for cheaper council housing, wrote the whole situation on my application, have a 2 year old, mentally and verbally abusive, hoarder, unsafe housing in the sense that we have a 2 year old and he leaves batteries knives on the side etc.

I’ve just cried upstairs when our daughters gone to bed to be come up and told I’m failing as a parent and I’m damaging her as she can hear crying, I’m making up my upset etc etc all the things that get said to me daily.

The council said I’m category C, not a priority and have to wait on average 7 YEARS to get homed.

What the hell am I supposed to do? I ache from sadness and just needed to get it out somewhere. I have no help, no friends or family, no support. I know it’s my fault for not being married but feel so broken

Also have a pet who I’m sure as hell not leaving behind

Everybody on these threads. It's wonderful how you advise Shelter. They are amazing and provide brilliant advice. But they simply don't magic up family homes as often suggested and inferred on here.

It's like the 'free half hour' that's continuously thrown out on the relationship threads. Simply not true.

OP The council agreed to pay my guarantee deposit, and my mum lent me the money for the month in advance rent. I rented privately but HB paid as well as for council tax. Go and talk in person, it's much better.

Please contact Womens Aid and Refuge, they will have good advice for you.
Womens Aid now have an arrangement with the RSPCA, and volunteers will foster your pets for you while you are in a shelter.

I’m going to phone CAB on Monday in my lunch break, and see what they say on the phone as utterly unhelpful in person like I said above, and didn't offer any help really

Thanks everyone for their advice

I think you've misunderstood how tax works - you are taxed separately, your £10k is not added to his £40k to push you into the high bracket. So you should still get child benefit payments, and your whole £10k should be free of tax on the current banding (unless you owe any).

Any housing associations in your area, some are tied to council but some take direct referral. Council 'homeless prevention' should give you advice, dorset had a scheme of trusted landlords, don't know if still running. Good luck.

Shelter give advice and know the law. They also advocate because even if you know your rights the council will try not to take responsibility

OP,
I am sorry that you are struggling. I want to make sure I understand - did you apply for Council Housing just for you and your child? Were you explicit that you are experiencing DA? I don't want this to sound harsh, but councils have to prioritise though who are actually homeless and may be trying to discourage you from leaving by suggesting you would not be helped.

I think you need to go down the DA route. Ask your GP to refer you, as it may help with a legal aid claim later if you need it. I am guessing where you are from a post above, but the local government web site has information. You will be assessed in terms of level of risk to yourself and your child, and they will be able to advise you moving forward. If I have your city right, there is also an organisation called VOICES, but that will help more when you have left.

Councils do have pots of funding to help set people up in new homes (pay the deposit, for example) but they won't do this for someone who is still in accommodation. You would have to put yourself in a vulnerable position (hostel, friends' spare room etc) for that kind of support to kick in.

If you do leave, you will then be able to access tax credits and probably Housing Benefit top up based on your income.

do you live seperately from him in the home?
have you or he moved out of the bedroom.
As I said before you can start a new claim for tax credits just in your name (unless they have changed the rules with universal credit)
You tell them you are seperated.
You tell him you are seperated and you will be leaving.
You claim the child benefit (as Im sure you are doing most childcare)
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/1412576-can-you-get-tax-credits-while-still-living-at-the-same-address-with-ex
You do NOT need to wait until you leave. You can seperate and be living, short term, in the same house.