AIBU to tell people I'm exchanging gift?

[northlundunmum]

Advice please - 7yo DD's party today and she had some lovely generous gifts - a few were duplicates but spot on (shows how well they know my DD). Want to send thank you texts to all. Should we say "thank you so much for lovely gift" and leave it at that or WIBU to say "thank you so much, it was spot on but duplicate so we are exchanging for X"? I am worried my DD will tell her friends and don't want her to lie / withhold truth esp as one of the gifts would be something they may expect her to be seen using at school - but duplicates slightly different so gifter would know it's not the one they gave IYSWIM. Don't want to be rude as all lovely but makes sense to exchange so not left to go dusty on the shelf. WWYD? Thank you!

don't say anything and tell her not to - it's an important life lesson for her in tact and at 7 she's old enough to understand it. My kids have both been taught that if they get a present that they don't like, or they already have, they smile and say thank you.

I wouldn't say anything. I'd would think it very rude if I received a text like that. Just exchange it quietly. I doubt 7 year olds will notice.

Just say thank you and leave it!

Of course you don't say anything

Oh god please don’t say anything

Definitely don't say anything to parents. Just exchange and tell DD not to say anything. If she does mention it it's not the end of the world and definitely much better than you specifically bringing it up in a text!

I just kept the duplicates and regifted them - had to keep track of who gave them though! I don't think anyone would care to be honest - buying the gift is a chore you tick off the list and then forget about afterwards.

Thanks for advice! Will keep schtum!

Don't say anything! When my dd gets duplicates we just regift ( she doesn't know whose present is being regifted) in fact if the gift is not appropriate ( stuff I don't want her having) we take it to the charity shop and I buy her replacements and I have never worried about her blabbing.

Yes, I agree you should keep shtum.

Remembering the time my sil took the time to thoughtfully tell me that she’d tried to return something I bought for her son, but she couldn’t get a refund, so just decided to keep it .

Definitely don't tell them you've swapped or returned the presents. Receiving duplicates isn't uncommon. When it happens to my kids, I just discreetly exchange them, or put them in my present box to use for regifting later on.

A friend of mine once received a thank you note after a wedding thanking her for the towels. Friend mentioned to the groom that she'd actually given them a set of dishes. Apparently they'd returned the dishes and exchanged them for the towels (which is fine in itself - so long as you don't actually tell the gifter that!), so decided to write that on the thank you note. Not a very nice, or smart, thing to do.

Learn the art of regifting!
There were some gifts that travelled around my kids' class, normally because they were so good people had them already - Harry Potter book sets spring to mind!!

Why is dd not writing thank you letters herself?
And no! Don’t tell people you are exchanging the gift!

I don't know any kids who write thankyou letters, it's all text now. I didn't know some people still did those until I came on MN

My kids write their own thank you letters, under duress!

We do the same as Pebbles duplicates quietly go in the gift box and I replace the gift with something else.

The D.C. understand that keeping quiet about this is just good manners. 7yo is old enough to understand that.

When we have duplicates I slide them away quietly into the present cupboard.

How can you exchange without the receipts?

@crimsonlake most big shops will exchange without a receipt, you only need it for a refund.

Thanks all. One of the duplicates did come with a gift receipt which made me think parent would be ok with me being honest about exchanging but even then given all your advice I'm not convinced it's the right thing to do to tell her (her DD is my DD's bf so a real shame that that's the one we exchange)... on written vs text thank yous we always do written thank yous for family but it is like blood from a stone so wanted to do personal thank you texts (dictated by DD) with pic of her enjoy present for those from school friends but feels a bit disingenuous for those we're exchanging.